Funniest snark I ever got

Sorry for the silence, dear readers. Between NaNoWriMo and my usual work week, things have been busy.

I wanted to share a snark I got, which I believe qualifies for one of the most hilarious criticisms I ever received.

Remember my blog post about the $73,000 used pickup truck for sale? Well, I wrote more extensively about it here and received a number of comments on it. One comment was as follows:

"It's his money. He can do what he wants with it. Let's have a look in your closet and see what you've spent on clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc."

I read this comment out loud to Don, and we both laughed. And I mean we howled, clutching our sides with mirth. What I spend on "clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc." is a riot.

So, dear readers, I thought I would take you on a short tour of these typical feminine weaknesses.

This is our closet (yes, our; we don't have separate closets):

This is "my side" of the closet. It consists of my 33-year-old wedding dress (bagged on the right), my church clothes (same skirt/shirt combo I wear every week, winter or summer), two coats (one lighter, one heaver), and a sweater. There's also a backpack hanging from a hanger I use when we take long hikes with the dog.

This is my dresser. It holds socks, underwear, shorts, T-shirts, and sweatpants. This is the extent of my entire wardrobe.

These are my shoes: slippers, sneakers, church shoes, and sandals. I bought the slippers new; all the rest came from thrift stores. Not shown: I also have a pair of snow boots (thrift store) and mud boots (new).

These are my everyday clothes: daily work clothes on the right, evening-after-shower clothes on the left.

This is my jewelry box, a nifty little thing I bought in 1984 at a craft show.

My jewelry is purely costume jewelry, and much of that dates back to my high school and college years. I never wear jewelry these days; most of what's in my jewelry box is kept for sentimental reasons.

So no, my vices do not include "clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc." In fact, I suffer from an incurable form of "clothing blindness."

Now books ....... Okay, that's a whole different matter.

I guess everyone has a weakness. At least I didn't spend $73,000 on them.

Thank you for that opinion

Hmm. I just received an interesting comment on a post I put up a couple weeks ago called "The only way to survive 2023." The subject of the post – and the only subject of the post, I might add – is the importance of frugality when it comes to weathering an economic storm.

This morning I received a non sequitur comment as follows (spelling, grammar, syntax, and profanity intact):

No Patrice b*tch only you and your relious Cult are the parasite a drain a virus to our society what the goal of b*tch like you and conservative propaganda Cult is to force there views on others most normal Americans understand women's right to het body is her alone just like marrying who two consenting adults is no onds business 

Okay then. What this has to do with frugality is anyone's guess. However the more closely I read this, the more amused I became.

There is the possibility English is not this person's first language, in which case the quality of writing is understandable (I would butcher any attempt to express my opinion in French or Tagalog or Hindi or any other language).

However if this person is a native English speaker, then this comment is a powerful testament to the effects of public education, in both opinion and quality. Yes, I find myself more appalled at the utter inability to spell, punctuate, or comprehend basic syntax than I am about his/her thoughts on my religious or political suasions (which have nothing to do with frugality).

So ... to whomever this mysterious reader is, thank you for that opinion. Happy frugaling!

Someone has "issues"

In the tribute piece I put up bidding adieu to actress Olivia de Havilland, someone left a comment that was so unrelated, so hostile, so out-of-the blue "huh?" that I decided to post it separately:

"You baby boomers destroyed your own children's future, and then laughed about it and blamed it on them. Do you realize that you are going to end up in a retirement home where you are going to get treated like total trash, and abused? Your children won't be able to help you, even if they wanted to. Karma's a bitch, you boomer scum."

Huh?

What does this have to do with Olivia de Havilland? What does this have to do with me? I'm not a baby boomer.

I'd say someone has "issues." How very sad. I pray he or she can get some professional help and find some peace of mind.

Snark du jour

On this past weekend's WND column entitled "Is Feminism Killing Women?", I hadn't caught up on the comments for a few days and was astonished to see there were over 100.

One commenter named Robert has taken it upon himself to criticize every column I write, particularly addressing the regressive, knuckledragging methods we used to raise our daughters (how dare we homeschool!). I don't mind this in the least, because it generates additional comments, and lovely people step in to my defense.

However Robert does raise one good point: I've neglected to keep readers updated on our daughters' progress.

Here is Robert's comment (referencing my aversion to feminism): What gets to me is that PL's home-schooled daughters were spoon fed a steady diet of this pabulum. Last I knew, neither was college bound and the eldest was working as a hotel maid.

So, without further ado, here's an update on the kids:

Older Daughter, as many of you know, did indeed work as a "hotel maid" for a couple of years. It was actually an upscale motel, not a hotel, and she was the best durned housekeeper the motel owners ever had. She was 16 and 17 at the time. I don't know what else Robert expected a teenager to do to earn money -- CEO of a huge corporation, perhaps? -- but the job gave Older Daughter the opportunity to cultivate her work ethic and save her pennies. As a result, she was able to garner a glowing letter of recommendation from the motel owners and emerge with a substantial savings account.

She took that work ethic and letter of recommendation with her to nanny school last summer, and graduated top of her class.

With yet more glowing credentials, she landed a job as a live-in nanny to four boys with a family in New Jersey, starting last November. She enjoys the job and the family thinks the world of her. Because she's a live-in, she has very few expenses and is banking about 80% of her salary -- a salary, I'll add, that exceeds the pay of many first-year teachers. Her savings account at the moment is a hair's breath away from five figures, and she's been on the job less than six months. Not a bad position for a 20 year old.

Younger Daughter is taking preliminary classes at the nearest college toward her goal of becoming a radiographer. She's acing her exams -- on her last two tests, she scored 100% on one and 94% on the other. To earn money, she's doing yard work for an elderly neighbor as well as picking up other part time work as available. This summer her former violin teacher, who also happens to be CEO of the local hospital, has promised her a job at the hospital where she can work directly with the radiography department. Younger Daughter is 17 at the moment, though she turns 18 in just a few days.

Like Older Daughter, our youngest is cultivating a work ethic, saving her pennies, and earning the esteem of college professors and hospital CEO's. Both our daughters are moral, honest, and hard-working young women.

I dunno, I think our girls are doing pretty well, considering they've been "spoon fed a steady diet of this pabulum" their whole lives.

But maybe that's just a proud mama talking.

Most boring blog ever

Here's a comment I recently received:

You win the award for the most boring blog ever. Pictures of biscuits and posts about freezers and clock radios. Yawn. Please get real lives and stop documenting every burned out light bulb and fart you come across. You have great potential (I've read a lot of your stuff), but you're wasting it on the mundane. ZZZZZZZZZZ..............

Ah well, ya can't please 'em all.

I'd say someone has "issues"

Hmmm. I seem to have picked up a troll.

Back in 2012 I put up a post entitled How Long Will Home-Canned Food Last? which documented how I found some jars of home-canned food dating back to 1999.

This post sparked a lively discussion on older canned food which was uniformly polite.

But unexpectedly this morning I received the following comment on that post:

"Why didnt you eat it? So what if it was old ? Don't you know pressure canning kills all bacteria? It would've been safe to eat. You people are retarded."

Ooookay. Next time I find canned food dating back to 1999, I'll invite you over and YOU can eat it.

What an odd comment. I'd say someone has "issues."

Full of pride

In response to my tongue-in-cheek WND column If I Were King, I received an email from someone named David as follows:

I normally think you are one of the most honest and keen observers on WND.

It is now clear to me that you are in love with yourself, and full of the greatest sin: pride.

David, do you honestly think I long to be king? Have I ever exhibited kingly aspirations before?

Sheesh, man, lighten up.

A rebuttal

With regards to the unpleasant snark our neighbor Enola Gay received about her son Master Hand Grenade's decision to become a butcher, my husband had a few additional choice words for the snarker. His commentary follows. (My dear husband doesn't like to mince words.)

____________________________________

With regard to the anonymous correspondent of Enola Gay’s son Master Hand Grenade and Hand Grenade’s decision to become a butcher:

Patrice, of course, wrote a careful, well-thought-out comparative piece completely in line with the loving and thoughtful bride that has blessed me by sharing her life.

Now it's my turn. And I'm not nearly that nice.

I've spent a lot of my life dealing with a whole host of folks from all walks of life and I'm pretty good at reading people. So I'm going to give Mr. Anonymous a reading.

Sir (I'm assuming male from the manner and cadence of his brief post):

They say that brevity is the soul of wit. In your case "they" are wrong. Or perhaps they are right, but the definition of "soul" or "wit" needs amplification.

You seem to have Sir Hand Grenade all figured out. You've commented on, or inferred, his level of intelligence, educational achievements, social status, mental stability, people skills, and future earnings potential… and you've done all of that without ever once having seen or talked to him.

Well this seems like a fun game. So let me take a shot at it with you.

You are crude. I don't come to that decision based solely on the quality of your writing or the content of your message, although either of these would suffice. But the use of personal invective, flung at someone you do not know and who has never done you harm, is definitive. From this I must assume that either your family shares this trait, or more hopefully, they are in despair of your possession of it. In either case, and since you can tell someone's character by the company they keep, we can certainly posit that your friends and close associates must be equally mean and uncouth (assuming, of course, that you possess either friends or associates).

You place a high value on a college education. In point of fact, given that it's the be-all and end-all of your comment, you appear to hold it in higher regard than other human accomplishments and regard those without a college degree as somehow inferior. From this fact, as well as your disdain for the working class and your dislike of firearms, we can safely infer that you are both an elitist and a liberal (but I repeat myself). Further, we can assume you are both a toady and a sycophant since you appear to consider monetary worth and tangible assets as the most important factor in a man's value. From that it seems a fairly safe bet that you are also an atheist.

Finally, combining the inferences above with the general tone of your missive, I must inevitably conclude that you are an unhappy, lonely, bitter, and miserable excuse for a man; a witless, crude and insulting, uncouth elitist liberal whose greatest pleasure in life is toadying to wealthy snobs (who probably despise you for your all-too apparent weaknesses).

How'd I do?

Fortunately for you (and probably everyone who knows you) there is a cure. Drop to your knees and apologize. Oh, not necessarily to Sir Hand Grenade. He's a fine young man whose real worth is well known in our neck of the woods. There's not much you can do that would hurt him. No, you might want to make your apologies to God.

And, like this fine young man’s mother, I'll pray for you too.

Dead weight or worth its weight in gold?

I have an older blog post on the subject of Bug-Out Bags. In this post, we list and show the various items we felt would be useful in a three-day crisis situation. The list includes such lightweight (and I stress lightweight) but useful items as bandanas, paracord, and mosquito netting.

Once in awhile it appears this post gets mentioned on somebody else's website or blog, because all of a sudden I get a flurry of comments. This is what has happened in the last couple of days.

Most of the comments are highly useful -- additional information, or product suggestions, or otherwise helpful ideas. But once in awhile a startling comment comes through, such as this one:

Hey, The New Testament I would never bring. That won't help you either. It's extra dead weight. You should be able to comfort yourself from your own spirit, jeez. A book!? Get real.

So I got curious. How much did our pocket New Testaments weigh?

Two ounces.

A two-ounce "dead weight" isn't going to make or break our bug-out bags. As Younger Daughter put it, "I'm not fussed."

Thanks, I'll keep the New Testament. Should we ever need to bug out, it could well be worth its weight in gold.

The UNkindness of strangers

In contrast to the beautiful acts of kindness from both Ken and the other family who sent us a gift over Christmas, I came home from a tiring day in the city yesterday to find I had acquired a troll in my absence. It seems someone named Heidi has been reading older posts and snarking her way through my blog history.

I thought you might enjoy reading her remarks. The blog posts on which she's commenting are hyperlinked after her comments.

• What a lecherous and disrespectful thing to say to someone. -- Attachment parenting

• I've encountered many decent Christians, but judging by the content of your blog I wouldn't say you were one of them. I used to be a devoted Christian and would never condemn anyone based on their religion, but religion and good morality are independent of each other. I'm much better off with morals formed from experience and thought than blindly following the instructions of scripture. -- Hollywood vs. Real America

• Miraculously, my parents have managed to raise me to be "decent" (whatever that's supposed to mean) without drastically limiting my life experience. I retained my virginity through high school not out of fear of damnation but because I felt I wasn't ready, if I was it's important that I was fully informed on contraception so I could make the decision safely. There is absolutely nothing wrong with extra-marital sex and it's a dangerous lie to try and tell children. -- The Death of Pretty

• While I have no problem with common courtesy and will myself hold doors open for people, it's absurd when people decry feminism for getting rid of chivalry- feminism has done infinitely more for the world than chivalry ever could. -- The Death of Pretty

• Just out of interest, how do you exercise wearing skirts? seems impractical in some instances. -- The Death of Pretty

• You don't need to inform us at you are feeling smug, it's quite obvious that this is usually the case. -- Feeling smug

• Just because a woman is not a virgin does not mean she sleeps with strangers, it is in fact very rare for this do happen. Why don't you try berating men for sexually harassing strangers, which is much more common. I'd much rather have sexual freedom (and I'm a virgin anyway) than "deserve" to wear white on my wedding day. -- Love and Marriage

• I take it lynchings weren't counted as murder? -- Let's revisit "the good old days"

• You taught your kids that women who wear make-up and "revealing" clothes are evil? Great parenting. -- A message to little girls

• So I'm abnormal for not wanting to have children? I love babies that are related to me, others are generally a bit dull, but I have no interest in raising a child and should not feel pressured to do so for the sake of normality. Especially in a world with an all too quickly expanding population. -- Sex education, home-style

• You learned to judge an entire generation on the actions on one individual? -- Men in training

While I'm always amazed when someone comes to a conservative blog and expresses surprise that the readers are conservative, I'd like to welcome Heidi and hope she enjoys her visits.

And don't call me Sweetness

Got another snark today. This one was on an older post (January 2011) called Country Fashions for Men in which I poked fun at some manly rural-themed fashions then being shown on the runway.

This person wrote: I have lived in L.A, NYC, PARIS and I have never seen a man dress like that in my life, so please keep the sanctimonious "country people are better" BS attitude to yourself sweetness. No one in the city would wear this either, so I guess that makes us more equal than you could ever stomach.

I read this comment out loud to the family, and we all chuckled. But then my husband got curious. Just what IS currently fashionable out there these days? Not on the runway, but on the street? Don found a website called Street Peeper which features real-life fashions in various cities in the U.S. and around the world. Some samples:

Don called these the Sponge Bob Square Pants look:

I dunno, I just think all this looks weird.

It's funny... I post on all sorts of different subjects, but the one area where I routinely get frothing-at-the-mouth furious comments is when I poke fun at fashion. Go figure.

So -- to those who take fashion seriously, please understand that I don't. And while you're always welcome on my blog, you'll have to accept the fact that I'm going to find humor in the subject.

However, consider what I wrote in an earlier blog post: I suppose I can't get down too hard on fashion and makeup sites. There's nothing illegal or immoral about them. They feed huge international industries that employ millions. And women have taken an interest in fashion and makeup since the dawn of civilization, so my sour grapes doesn't change that historical fact. I guess my concern is when women become so obsessed with the shallow to the exclusion of the serious, it makes me concerned that they won't be able to handle anything BUT the shallow. On the other hand, I suppose I shouldn't worry. Scarlet O'Hara started shallow and look how she pulled off handling a war.

So for those whom I’ve offended because of my views on fashion, I tender my apologies. But I’m not gonna stop poking fun. If that will continue to offend, then you may prefer to read one of the many different blogs on the internet that focuses on fashion.

And please don't call me sweetness.

Fascinating women

I must thank you all for your heart-warming defense and support after the snark I received a couple of days ago. I loved getting your comments!

A post came through this morning which was so funny I laughed out loud, read it to the rest of the family, and decided I had to put it up separately:

"Boring women have spotless homes. And, honey, I come from a long line of FASCINATING women!"

Another good quote from this same reader: "Do-ers do. Critics criticize."

Let's hear it for fascinating men and women who DO.

Snark du jour

Looks like I have a self-appointed critic. This just came through as a comment:

Someone should send the health department to your kitchen and condemn it. Your floor is filthy, your blender is filthy and disgusting. You stove is dirty and filthy. I can't believe you have a dog so close to your food. Get dog hairs in the food much????

And all you people ate that crap?

DISGUSTING! You should be ashamed of yourself.

A defense

In response to my WND column Go To Trade School, Young Man, someone posted a dissenting opinion on both my blog and in the comments section on WND as follows:

We need two things to be absolutely free in this country....free HEALTH CARE......and free EDUCATION. There are 33 countries in the world that provide free HEALTH CARE and 133 that provide FREE EDUCATION.

We are the richest nation in the world so why can't we get it right? There is only one difference between us and the people in those countries........and that is that they pay their fair share of taxes across the board.....including the very rich.

I know for a fact that I paid 30% in income taxes last year and Romney, by his own admission (for what thats worth since he won't prove it).......paid only 13.6%.......a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE!! I ask you, what is wrong with this picture? By the way......it is speculated that Huntsman Senior who used to work at Bain Capitol spilled the beans to Harry Reid about Romney paying zero taxes in the last 10 years.....I'd say that is a good reason to back off from coughing them up.......!!

The millionaires and billionaires in this country are paying less than they have ever paid in history. You bet.....the best we can do is a good trade school until we can unprivitize the universities and put it back to the way it was when FDR was president. He had the richest paying their fair share and the country did well. Just look at history. It says it all........

Reader Rob over at PACNW Righty wrote an intelligent and thoughtful rebuttal to this opinion. You can read his post here.

A little less arrogance, please

I received a snark a few days ago, and have been debating about whether to post it or not. I’ve decided to compromise and post parts of it.

First, a little background. Way back when I was in high school, I decided I wanted to be a field biologist, a second Jane Goodall. I burned with the desire to study animals in their natural habitats, to live a rugged outdoor life. To that effect, I knew I couldn’t be a high-maintenance kind of woman.

This attitude continued through college, through summers working in the field, and even into my post-college years working in office buildings. In fact, that early training has never really left me, which perhaps accounts for my satisfaction to live an unglamorous life shoveling manure and milking cows on a farm.

But clearly not everyone feels the same way. We all know someone (usually a woman) who is high-maintenance, whose raven locks can only be touched with organic grape-leaf and wild-hemp shampoo costing $15 a bottle.

Well, that’s the kind per woman who just sent the snark, who was “absolutely disgusted” with my attitude on fashion. “For some one with no interest in fashion you seem to spend a lot of time mocking those who enjoy doing their hair and makeup and dressing in nice clothes,” she wrote. “I am the type of girl who spends thousands of dollars on handbags and shoes, I have no interest in living in the country or farming.” [Which begs the question, why are you hanging around a blog that focuses on living in the country and farming? Just asking.]

The gist of the woman’s argument was how she would never dream of mocking us for our “People of Walmart”-style fashions, how she wouldn’t lower herself to say anything negative about our clothes, and she “would never dream of making fun and demeaning those who find enjoyment from country living.”

“I find your clothes in the pictures you have on your blog to be embarrassing and ridiculous,” she adds, “but I would never make a post on my blog showing shoes you like that I find ugly and proceeding to mock them. If you don't like how someone dressed that’s your problem, not theirs.” She concludes by saying, “Please consider that before you try to shame another person into conforming to your world view. Now I'm going to take my own advice and find a new blog to read that contains a little less arrogance.”

My first thought upon reading her email was, Good riddance to bad rubbish. But then I had a second thought: maybe she’s a little bit right.

You see, I regard high-maintenance women with genuine puzzlement. Unless you’re wealthy, anyone who spends “thousands of dollars on handbags and shoes” instead of sensible things like paying off debt or paying down the principle on your mortgage or even buying some storable food just makes me shake my head in wonderment. I truly don’t get it.

And what will happen to people like this if the bleep hits the fan? What good are their “thousands of dollars” worth of handbags and shoes then?

Yet the fashion industry is unquestionably massive. As I wrote in an earlier post, "I suppose I can't get down too hard on fashion and makeup sites. There's nothing illegal or immoral about them. They feed huge international industries that employ millions. And women have taken an interest in fashion and makeup since the dawn of civilization, so my sour grapes doesn't change that historical fact. I guess my concern is when women become so obsessed with the shallow to the exclusion of the serious, it makes me concerned that they won't be able to handle anything BUT the shallow. On the other hand, I suppose I shouldn't worry. Scarlet O'Hara started shallow and look how she pulled off handling a war."

So for those whom I’ve offended because of arrogance for my views on fashion, I tender my apologies. But I’m not gonna stop poking fun. If that will continue to offend, then you may prefer to read one of the many different blogs on the internet that focuses on fashion.

Troll privileges revoked

I should have known better than to feed a troll. Our anonymous poster who took it upon him or herself to snark religion just got a little too combative for my taste.

Goodness only knows why atheists have such an urge to lurk on Christian blogs and try to convince people that Christianity is bunk. To what purpose? More company in hell, perhaps? What will it accomplish to take a group of people who are perfectly satisfied with their religious beliefs and try to make them doubt?

I have a number of readers whose religious and/or political suasions are different than mine, who are perfectly respectful about those differences. Their comments are kind, insightful, and interesting. But trolls give a bad name to anyone whose perspective, viewpoints, or beliefs are different. Their intentions are to create chasms, not bridge them.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: This is a private blog. It is not a public forum to debate your viewpoints. The purpose of my blog is to illustrate our rural lifestyle and air our particular opinions, all hung on the framework of a religious belief we hold dear.

If you don't like it, go start your own blog.

It was my mistake. I should never have fed a troll.

Welcome to my new troll!

I always enjoy picking up a troll or two, unless of course the troll's language is inexcusably vulgar (remember Becky?)

My newest troll is evidently going through a lot of older posts. Recently he/she read my post Raising Boys to be Husbands and found something within to be objectionable:

"A man should be strong enough to know he is weak and flawed, and where to turn to remedy that. A man with faith guides his family toward God."

What strength can come from guiding family members toward non-thought, myth, slavery, and lies? I am curious to know if Christians realize that their religion was created by the Egyptians to enslave the minds of the commoners? Take a look at the mithra as well.

Religion and god does not speak to fully mature and accountable people.

I would like to let this poster know that I certainly welcome dissenting opinions as long as they're politely expressed, and so far you're doing fine. Welcome!

What a bunch of BLATHER and a waste of paper

I just got the snarkiest review on Amazon for The Simplicity Primer:

What a bunch of BLATHER. I bought this book based on the ten 5 star reviews; what kind of whacky weed are you all smoking? Here's some chapter headings: Be Humble, Don't Gossip, Be Polite, Love Your Spouse and the book goes on and on... As you get to the three hundred series it doesn't improve: Enjoy The Holidays, Keep Learning, Live Cheap, Be Creative and then it gets into "Radical Simplicity" !!! People writing reviews should not be allowed to practice their writing skills just to sound sophisticated. This book is a waste of paper.

It was Younger Daughter who found this review and read it out loud to me. Frankly I found it hilarious. I wasn't offended in the slightest, in part because it's pretty apparent that this reviewer Just Didn't Get It. That's fine. Can't please all of the people all of the time.

Sheesh, take it easy!

Boy, you just never know what will set some people off.

I just received an email concerning this weekend's WND Fuddy Duddy column as follows:
_______________________

You wrote a column about the insolent teenagers blocking you. In the ENTIRE column I did not see you mention “God” or “Christian” or something to do with our religious heritage that is now lacking and why America is turning into what you see today. You had an importune moment to define this, but you did not.

And THAT is the problem! God is left out of the picture and you have proven it with what you wrote today and you did not even recognize it. I did not know you were so into or being FOOLED by secularism that you even missed what is so obvious about what is going on.

I thought you were pretty religious and into the Bible, but I really see you are not. Otherwise you will have seen what is pretty obvious about the two boys, America, it’s Christian heritage and its true identity in the world.

I enjoyed reading your columns because I thought it was fueled by Bible wisdom. I did not see this in your column today. I may pare my reading down of any future columns. Inadvertently, to me, and the world wise enough to recognize this, you explained why America is going down hill.
_______________________

While I do not disagree that the secularization of this nation is one of the main contributors to its downfall, it seems to me this guy is seeing bogeymen around every corner. So I’m being “fooled” by secularism? And I’m not “into” the Bible or I’m not religious because ONE of my columns didn’t mention religion?

As a reminder, I have a 1000 word limit. This column was originally around 1500 words and I had to trim and trim and trim. That's the first point to consider.

The second point is, the focus of my column at WND is socio-political commentary, not religion – although about 75% of my columns DO mention religion. However if you want religion every single week, please read Greg Laurie's excellent pieces. The focus of Mr. Laurie's columns IS religion.

The third point that comes to mind is Matthew 7:21-23: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ In other words, a lot of yapping doesn't necessarily translate into a genuine Christian spirit.

Obviously it is impossible to please all of the people all of the time. Case in point.

Book review from a Seattle progressive

Recently I received an email from a woman named Audrey, who lives in Seattle. She sent her thoughts and impressions of The Simplicity Primer. I was very, very glad to get her review because I've always wondered how the book would impact the Simplicity community in the Pacific northwest.

The simplicity movement is big -- huge -- in the Pacific northwest. Many simplicity authors reside in Seattle or Portland or vicinity. But I have not reached out toward these communities because, almost to a person, they reside on the extreme far left end of the spectrum and I felt they wouldn't care for my perspective.

So this is my first review from the far left.
____________________________________

Having been in the "simplicity movement" since 1986, in Seattle, with some of the early people (Cecile Andrews, Duane Elgin and Robin & Dominguez) every time a new book catches my eye I give it a read. Having read yours I felt drawn to give some feedback.

My life isn't perfect, but whose is? But I do live in a 100+ year old house of 600 square feet, eat game, buy meat and eggs from my country friends, have a huge garden, cook from scratch, eschew TV, cable, dish, internet, books, getting my needs met at my local library. My clothes, excluding socks and underwear come from thrift stores. I drive a 30 year old car, they were simpler then, it gives me no trouble. I have been living the life for a long time.

But you really got off track with #354. "Move to where there are like-minded people." [NOTE: The text of this tip is copied below.] Whoa, sister! That sort of attitude fosters an "us versus them", red state/blue state, bunker mentality that engenders things like the Aryan Nations. I made a choice to move here 16 years ago and I'm not leaving. I suppose people see me as an eccentric, radical, commie-pinko but I was raised by parents who had a mantra, "what other people think of you is none of your business." What we have to try to do is find the common ground, sometimes it may be only that we are of the same species. My buddy thinks Glen Beck is god and I think he's a wing-nut but we have endless discussions on techniques for organic gardening. I trade him homemade bread for rototilling. We get along, somehow.

Regarding religion... My parents raised the six of us on "the golden rule", do unto others, etc. We were encouraged to explore, read and be free-thinkers; some of us have religion and others don't. Personally, I do not deny the existence of god, I just haven't seen it proven scientifically. Maybe god is quantum mechanics or string theory. I guess I am a militant agnostic; I don't know and YOU don't either. If you don't have the resilience and strength of character to handle life's challenges and religion gives you that, go for it. Some of us, however, prefer freedom FROM religion.

The Green Movement is a sinister plot to move us to Socialism?!? Whoa! What sort of Tea Party Kool Aid you drinking?!? [NOTE: The text of this tip is also copied below.] If we don't get this climate change thing back to 350ppm nothing will matter. You are a breeder, just what sort of world are your grandchildren going to have to cope with? I personally don't think there is time to get things fixed but we all need to do what we can. The underlying problem is that the corporate concerns who run politics in this country have a vested interest in keeping the status quo and deriving short-term profits at the expense of our children's future. Maybe green politics is one response, but personally I think armed insurrection is a better idea.

I found alot of things in your book to like and agree with. I probably sound retro but I think if people have kids under 18 there should be no divorce unless there is a documented history of abuse. Work it out. Too many kids in poverty, on welfare, not getting a fair start in life and being a burden to the taxpayer besides. This business of sexualizing young girls, WTF!! Don't tell ME this is feminism! My mother, Susan Sontag and Bella Abzug are rolling in their graves. I laughed hard at the "country living" sequence. When I moved here most people thought I was a few bricks short of a load and the others were saying "such a beautiful place, why aren't you living in the country?" My response was, "are you [expletive deleted] nuts?!? I GREW UP IN THE COUNTRY! I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE! In town; I turn on the faucet and water comes out, I flush the toilet it goes to the sewer, Donny Mueller picks up the trash every Thursday, the city plows the street when it snows. Living in the country is over-rated." Yes, it is nice...IF you are prepared to deal with it. Plus it costs money. I live alot more frugally and with alot less hassle in town. Not to mention, now that I am officially in "old bag" status, it is more prudent.

Best wishes with your publishing career and other business interests.

Audrey
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Here are the specific points from the book which Audrey referenced:

354. Move to a Place with Like-Minded People
If moving to a different town or even state is in your plans for a simpler life, take warning: make sure you investigate your destination area to see if you’re among like-minded people.

Beyond the usual red-state-blue-state demographics, it is wise to be aware that there are certain places where the political or social climate may not be to your liking. If you have strong political beliefs, for instance, and you move to an area where the majority of people are at the opposite end of the spectrum, you’re going to be miserable.

Be sure to research your target location thoroughly. Subscribe to the local newspapers. Visit. Rent for awhile, if you can.

There is joy in finding yourself among others who share your values. When we moved to Idaho, for instance, we found to our delight that we were among neighbors who cherish independence, family values, and thrift just as we do.

We know of a couple who purchased property recently in our area. They had wildly different viewpoints from those of their immediate neighbors. Wildly different. I met them once or twice and they seemed like nice folks, but I sensed trouble ahead because of their different attitudes and viewpoints. In our brief conversations, they immediately launched into their personal philosophies in a rather belligerent, defensive manner…almost as if they sensed they were different. I don’t know all the details, but their property was up for sale again within a year.

Relocation is much simpler if you know you’ll be welcomed in your new neighborhood.

244. Support Green Living, Not the Green Movement
We are urged to consider the sustainability and impact of our choices in order to think “green.” I find this to be a high calling, one worthy of everyone’s attention.

I support green living. I try to live by the principles of green living. It’s all so sensible—and simplifying. However, I do not support the green political movement because these activists are using “green” to advance Socialism. And Socialism, as any student of history will tell you, does not make anyone’s life simple. Socialism takes away independence. Sustainability increases independence. Which makes more sense to you?

Columnist Rebecca Hagelin writes, “If you let people control their own destinies, there's no limit to what they can achieve. But if you bind them with the straitjacket of central planning, smother their creativity with over-regulation, fence them in with high tariffs and take their hard-earned money with high taxes, you kill their dreams even as you wreck an economy.” [Emphasis added.]

But the march toward Socialism is subtle, and prettily wrapped up in 100% recycled green wrapping paper. After all, as commentator Walter Williams points out, there’s less resistance if liberty is taken away a little at a time. This year, light bulbs. Next year, temperature controls in your house. After that…who knows?

History has demonstrated the destructive results of Socialism. Become green and independent, not part of a collectivist society. Think for yourself. Only then will your life simplify, unless, of course, you prefer the simplicity of no longer having any choices at all.

Here is the reply I sent to Audrey:

Good morning, Audrey:

Thank you for taking the time to write regarding my book The Simplicity Primer. Like you, I’ve spent many years both living and reading about the simple life, including the authors you mention (Andrews, Elgin, Robin & Dominguez, etc.). I admire the way you’re conducting your life in conformity with your beliefs. Not many people have managed to do that, so you’re to be commended.

With regard to the tip to which you took exception (#354, Move to a Place With Like-Minded People), please remember that the ideas in the book are suggestions, not requirements. While I’m pleased you’re able to find common ground with your buddy who listens to Glenn Beck, you also mention how you moved to Seattle from a rural location, presumably because the social and political climate were more to your liking. In other words, you moved to a place with like-minded people. I find nothing wrong with living among people who share one’s beliefs, and believe me it has nothing to do with a “us versus them” bunker mentality, much less anything whatever to do with the Aryan Nations (yuck, pitooey).

Regarding religion: I think you’ll agree that the Simplicity Primer is a rarity among simplicity literature in that it’s written from the perspective of a conservative Christian. The premise of the entire book is that simplicity is achieved through making the right choices. I’ve chosen to embrace religion; you’ve chosen to do otherwise. If you’re satisfied with your choice, then you’ve achieved simplicity in that category.

I do maintain that the Green political movement advances socialism. We live a lifestyle that is “greener” than 95% of America, but it’s our choice to do so. My quarrel with the green movement is it is dedicated to passing legislation forcing others to conform to their agenda, i.e. phasing out incandescent light bulbs or regulating home temperatures. Such legislation reduces choices and increases unconstitutional authority. We keep our home cool and we use (mostly) CFL’s, but that’s our choice and I don’t believe there is any constitutional justification forcing anyone else to live the way we think they should live.

I thoroughly, absolutely, one-hundred-percent agree with your assessment of country living. LOL – sometimes I think I spend half my time convincing people NOT to move rural since (as you well know) country living is only for those willing to put up with a lot of hassle, grief, inconvenience, and even danger. We love it here, but then we don’t have to commute through snow drifts to a job (we work at home) or school (we homeschool), so we’re willing to put up with a lot of inconvenience. Life is indeed much simpler in many regards in the city, but we don’t like the crowded conditions or noise factor. It’s quite literally a case of “to each his own” when in comes to choosing a place to live.

I find myself in complete agreement with many of the things you wrote in your email. I wish we lived closer as I suspect we could have some lively and fascinating conversations over a nice pot of chai tea.

Thank you for your kind wishes and once again, I appreciate you taking the time to express your thoughts and opinions.