Bots answering bots

Mornings and evenings, I let Younger Daughter's parrot out of her cage for some cage-free time. She spends some of that time flying around to various landing spots in the house, but most of the time she's on my fist while I'm at my computer, preening her feathers and just being sociable.

During these times, since I can't type on the keyboard, I either read the news (morning) or scan through various stupid YouTube videos (evening) ... which is how I found myself watching a best-of-the-month version of "Incredible Moments Caught on Camera" the other day

The video snippets themselves were interesting enough ... but the voice-over narration was abysmal. That's because it was all AI.

Artificial intelligence, as I'm fond of saying, is easy to spot because it conveys a lot of blah-blah nothing. It's fond of multi-syllabic words but somehow fails to impart any real information. Consider a few narratives that accompanied some of the video clips:

• (Regarding seagulls flocking on a beach): "Birds soar in the sky like streaks of freedom carrying hope."

• (Regarding a whale being freed from debris): "The humpback whale was rescued, a moment filled with hope and touching."

• (Regarding the massive and tragic explosion in Beirut): "The entire atmosphere trembled as explosions erupted, and everyone was compelled to turn and observe, pondering the events that had transpired."

• (Regarding a security camera catching tornado damage in the lobby of a business decorated for Christmas): "The Christmas tree and the windows were both devastated by the tornado. Oh no! This holiday season is unquestionably excessively heated. The glass door is likely being refreshed in a manner that no one desires, and the stunning Christmas tree was unable to withstand the forces of nature."

• (Regarding a tornado dark with debris): "Look! a massive black tornado containing a cloud of dust. It resembles a massive vacuum cleaner from the heavens and the earth, but it does not clean. Rather, it causes destruction. Please exercise caution and refrain from approaching."

Honestly, I could have watched it without sound, but the deeper I got into the video, the more comical the AI narration became. It was like verbal diarrhea.

Periodically the AI voice would interrupt itself to urge viewers to "kindly leave a comment in the remarks section below." So, curious, I scrolled down to the comments section. And what did I see?

• "Every second of this was truly breathtaking."

• "I’m always fascinated by the majestic beauty of nature in this video."

• "Who else got goosebumps watching this? Truly incredible!"

• "Absolutely mesmerizing!"

• "Every single moment in this video amazes me."

• "Wow, these moments are truly unbelievable!"

• "Wow, some of these moments are truly unbelievable!"

• "Truly mesmerizing! Every moment captured here is a reminder of how incredible the world can be."

• "These moments make me wonder if I’m dreaming!"

Yes, AI is leaving comments to the AI narration and saying ... blah-blah nothing. Bots answering bots.

(It's also worth noting a couple of irritable comments from real live viewers, to wit: "I've started watching these on mute. The commentary is just so inane. AI voice, pretending to have emotions, telling me what emotions and thoughts I should have... ridiculous." Definitely not AI-generated.)

Artificial intelligence. The wave of the future. Please exercise caution and refrain from approaching.

The weirdness of artificial intelligence

As a writer, I've been keeping an eye on AI writing programs such as Chat GTP. So far, I'm not overly worried. Most AI-written pieces are a lot of blah-blah nothing, but of course the technology is still in its infancy.

Interestingly, Older Daughter is in more of a position to observe AI usage than I am. She volunteers in screening applicants for a live-action roleplay game, and per the rules she must refuse any AI-written applications. As a result, she sees TONS of AI stuff, and has learned instantly to identify the fake from the real, even if the fake has been run through a "humanizer."

One of the keys to identifying AI text – aside from its "perfect" grammar that no one seems to know these days – is the usage of two words: "unwavering" and "intricate." For whatever reason, AI-written text loves those two words, despite the fact that comparatively they're seldom used in real (human) writing.

In fact, consider this Twitter post:

Other words favored by AI include: commendable, innovative, meticulous, notable, and versatile.

Still, AI has its worrisome moments. For example, Older Daughter asked ChatGTP to write a bio for ... me. Most of the information was factually accurate, with one screaming exception: It had me as the co-author of a book on preschool psychology I'd never even heard of. (Can't remember the name, sorry.) The book exists, but its two co-authors clearly aren't me. Whee, nothing like misinformation!

AI can also provide laughs. We all sat around and howled with laughter a few nights ago when Older Daughter input the following prompt to ChatGTP: "Write me a few paragraphs about Don, a brilliant woodworker attempting to survive in a grim post apocalyptic world."

Here's what ChatGTP wrote, with those favorite words bolded:

In the aftermath of a catastrophic event that plunged the world into darkness, Don emerged as a beacon of resilience amidst the chaos. Once a humble carpenter, his mastery of woodworking became his greatest asset in this grim post-apocalyptic world. With a keen eye for detail and an unwavering determination, Don sought to carve out a semblance of normalcy amid the ruins.

In a world where resources were scarce and survival was a daily struggle, Don's craftsmanship became invaluable. With nothing but salvaged wood and basic tools, he fashioned shelters, furniture, and tools essential for survival. Each creation bore the mark of his skill and dedication, a testament to the enduring human spirit in the face of adversity.

But Don's talents extended beyond mere utility; they offered a glimmer of hope in a desolate landscape. His intricate carvings and sculptures served as reminders of beauty in a world consumed by darkness. Whether it was a delicately carved figurine or an ornate relief depicting scenes of a lost civilization, Don's artistry breathed life into the desolation, offering solace to those who dared to dream of a better world.

Despite the harsh realities of his existence, Don remained steadfast in his resolve to endure and rebuild. With each stroke of his chisel and every piece of wood shaped by his hands, he defied the despair that threatened to engulf him. For in the heart of this post-apocalyptic wasteland, Don found purpose and meaning through his craft, a testament to the enduring power of human creativity in the face of adversity.

Then Older Daughter gave ChatGPT another prompt: "Write a few paragraphs about Carl, an inspector of intertubes surviving in a post apocalyptic world." (Note she misspelled "inner tubes" as "intertubes." Didn't matter to ChatGTP. It took the words and ran.) This is what she got:

In the aftermath of the cataclysm that reshaped the world, Carl found himself thrust into an unexpected role as an inspector of intertubes, a vital but often overlooked aspect of survival in the post-apocalyptic landscape. Once a mundane occupation in the pre-apocalyptic world, inspecting intertubes became a matter of life and death in the harsh realities of the new world order.

Armed with little more than a flashlight and a keen eye for detail, Carl traversed the barren wastelands in search of intact intertubes, the lifelines of communication and transportation in this fractured world. With every inspection, he meticulously scrutinized each tube for signs of wear, damage, or contamination, knowing that a single flaw could spell disaster for those who relied on them for survival.

Carl's expertise extended beyond mere inspection; he became a guardian of knowledge, teaching others the importance of maintaining and preserving the intertubes that linked scattered communities across the ravaged landscape. Through his tireless efforts, he ensured that these vital arteries of communication remained functional, bridging the gaps between isolated pockets of humanity and fostering a sense of connection in an otherwise disconnected world.

But Carl's mission was not without its challenges. In a world where resources were scarce and dangers lurked at every turn, he faced constant threats from marauders, scavengers, and the elements themselves. Yet, he pressed on, driven by a sense of duty and a belief that the intertubes held the key to rebuilding civilization from the ashes of the old world.

As the days turned into years, Carl's efforts bore fruit, as the network of intertubes he helped maintain became a lifeline for those struggling to survive in the harsh new reality. Through his unwavering dedication and perseverance, Carl emerged as a beacon of hope in a world consumed by darkness, proving that even in the face of devastation, the human spirit could endure.

See what I mean about a lot of blah-blah nothing?

In some ways, this is encouraging. As a writer, methinks I'm not likely to be replaced by a computer any time soon.

Blah blah blah.

Hey presto! Just use AI!

Writers and editors all around the world are watching (with concern and caution) the development of artificial intelligence (AI) and its ability to provide content to blogs, magazines, news sites, etc.

It's scary stuff since AI can spit out absolutely false information with utter confidence, such as providing the name of one of America’s four female presidents (Luci Baines Johnson, who served 1973-77).

Still, at this point I can still determine the difference between genuine and artificial content, largely because AI-generated content doesn't really say anything. It's just blah-blah garbage.

As an example, I opened up ChatGTP a few months ago and typed in a prompt: "Write a 500-word synopsis of an inspirational romance novel, including characters' goals, motivations, and conflicts." It spat back a plot full of pablum. I sharpened the prompt a few times, giving it more detailed instructions, and still wasn't impressed.

Which is why I was so amused to receive an email a few days ago. In the subject line was the query, "Do You Have a Stagnant Blog?"

Here's the (no doubt AI-generated) content of the email:

"It's time to take your blogging journey to the next level. Posting content daily, or 3-4 times a week at a minimum WILL get you a lot more search engine traffic.

Sounds time consuming, right? Not anymore.

Now you can use AI to create, publish, and promote your blog posts. Say goodbye to the hours spent researching and writing, and hello to effortless content creation.

I'm doing just that with my new Content Formulator AI. Here is why this is the ultimate tool for every serious blogger:

1. Simple Setup: Content Formulator AI is easy to set up and use, whether you're a tech-savvy blogger or a beginner. No need for an OpenAI account or an API key. Just add the included plugin and connect it to Content Formulator AI.

2. Effortless Blog Posting: With just a few clicks, create blog posts up to 2,000 words long, perfect for optimizing your content for search engines and attracting organic traffic.

3. Versatile Blogging: With Content Formulator AI, you can create and post as many blog articles as you want, for yourself or for clients who pay for your services.

4. Editability and Customization: Each blog post created by AI opens in a full-featured text editor, allowing you to add your personal touch, inject thoughts or comments, and enhance the content as you see fit. You can also add original AI-generated images to make your posts visually appealing.

5. Plagiarism-Free Content: AI-generated content is original and safe to use. You can run your posts through plagiarism detectors, and they will pass with flying colors.

6. No Additional Fees: Unlike many other AI-powered platforms, Content Formulator AI does not incur any usage charges. Create as many blog posts as you want without worrying about additional fees.

7. Instant Publishing: Connect your blogs via the included plugin so you can publish (or schedule!) your blog posts with a single click.

Don't let the opportunity to revolutionize your blogging journey pass you by. Embrace the power of AI and join my growing community of bloggers who have embraced Content Formulator AI. Watch the demo [here]<--(hyperlinked)"

Um, no.

This blog, dear readers, may have its stagnant moments, but I cannot fathom a time I would ever turn to artificial intelligence to prop it up. I'm afraid you're only gonna get details of our boring and mundane lives, rather than anything spiced up AI.

Unless it's for a good laugh, of course..............

UPDATE: I just saw this and it cracked me up. Case in point.