Not on speaking terms ... with AI

As you can imagine, the rise of artificial intelligence (AI) is on everyone's mind, particularly those whose jobs or livelihoods are threatened by the new technology. As a writer, I'm grateful I've carved my niche with both my fiction and nonfiction editors before AI became a threat. (That said, I have yet to meet an editor who even remotely wants or encourages AI submissions.)

Recently, while lurking on a writer's forum, the discussion turned to using AI as an aid in generating cover art. One woman, seeking a prototype for a western-themed romance cover, wrote the following, which had the whole forum cracking up (and proved this woman can write!).

She started by giving the AI some prompts, and it went downhill from there:

"I tried AI to do scene suggestions. I prompted it to give me two people, a man and a woman, on a horse fleeing through the wilderness. I got two horses. I politely said they needed to be on the same horse. This time it was two horses with riders fleeing a fire. I, more firmly, said they needed to be riding the same horse. I got two horses with the riders using English saddles. I refrained from calling AI an idiot and went back through the list. I finally got two riders on the same horse. But they were missing legs. With gritted teeth, I said 'TWO PEOPLE, A MAN AND A WOMAN, ON A SINGLE HORSE, WESTERN SADDLE, EACH HUMAN HAVING TWO LEGS, FLEEING THROUGH THE WILDERNESS, NOT RUNNING FROM A FIRE.' I got one horse, one rider, no bridle, and a fire.

I'm currently not speaking to AI."

Join the club, honey.

Checking sheep

A friend was describing her activities with their flock of sheep, including milking them. For some reason, her email sparked a memory which, for years, I ranked among my most embarrassing moments.

Let's go back to 1983. I spent an extraordinary summer working at Wolf Park outside of West Lafayette, Indiana. In addition to wolf research and breeding, the facility was something of a farm as well, with bison, sheep, horses, etc.

I was an ignorant little suburban-bred college student trying my best to learn rural ways, and the whole summer at Wolf Park was absolutely stinkin' wonderful.

One day one of the senior volunteer administrators asked me to go check on a flock of (hornless) sheep that were close to lambing. I asked what I had to do. She said to lift the tails of a few of the ewes and note if the vulva was swollen or not. If it was, lambing was close.

So I took myself off to the sheep pen, looked for the animals with udders, lifted their tails, and didn't see anything unusual. I reported back to the administrator that nope, it didn't look like they were anywhere close to lambing.

The next day lambs were popping out everywhere. Somewhat exasperated, the administrator asked me what happened. "I don't know," I protested. "I looked for all the animals with udders and lifted their tails, and didn't see anything unusual."

Enlightenment dawned on the administrator's face. She asked me to describe the udders I was looking at. When I did, she burst out laughing. And I mean she howled with laughter, clutching her side with mirth.

Finally she gasped out, "Those weren't ewes. You were lifting the tails of the rams."

After a few baffled moments, it dawned on innocent 20-year-old me just what part of the sheep's anatomy I had assumed was an udder. Cue the embarrassment.

The administrator's eyes twinkled. "Why do you think rams have such big egos?" she asked.

It took me the rest of the summer to live that one down.

It's "Very Important"

Don received this spam email which made us both laugh:

Hello,

 

My apologies for this unsolicited approach. I would like to discuss something very important regarding your last name, is it possible we can discuss it here?

 

Your swift response will be appreciated

 

Kind Regards

Eddy

Wow! Eddy wants to discuss something very important regarding the highly uncommon surname "Lewis." What could it be? (insert "thinking cap" emoji)

Evolution of Dance

This guy is a SCREAM!

I stumbled across this mystery man a few days ago. I have no idea who he is, but WOW is he talented. Watch and enjoy:

Veterinary complaints

Along the same lines as the random humor post I put up earlier, you might get a chuckle out of this sign I saw in our local veterinarian's office last week:

Hard to argue...

A collection of random humor

I keep three "running lists" in draft form on this blog: Interesting things, book-themed things, and things that tickle my funny bone. Basically every time I come across something interesting – or book-related or funny – I just add it to the appropriate file. I've published the first of my "interesting things" lists (here) and I've published a couple of the book-themed lists (here and here). But so far I haven't published any of the humorous things, and the list is growing very long indeed.

So, without further ado and in no particular order, here are a bunch of random humorous things I've come across in the last couple of years.

_______________________________________ 

 

God's pronouns

As someone who lives an all-cash lifestyle, I approve of this message:

Nerd joke:

It must be a trial to be a pharmacist:

Yup, I understand this:

Who can sympathize?

Prank or not, the wife still shops too much:

Peekaboo.

I believe the term is "petty revenge." I'll admit I laughed.

Map of every American city.

Introvert advice:

More introvert advice:

History could have been so different:

How's the weather?

I felt this in my soul (see here):

Modern women, too:

Mom's last laugh:

Brilliant.

Science prank:

"All jeans 90 percent off!"

We've all had days like this.

Women will wince in sympathy:

Anyone living in a northern location:

Nerd humor:

Men staring into the dark abyss of Valentine's Day cards:

Neighborly dispute:

Truth:

Ridiculously photoshopped click-bait snake ad:

and

The pure randomness of this:

It takes a few seconds to sink in...

Eww. Just...eww.

Impressive.

Haven't we all had days like this?

Helpful moving tips:

Can attest...

Well designed.

Yup.

I hate it when that happens...

Evil, but funny.

Nerd meets farmer humor:

Same with writing....

Accurate.

...Says every cat-owner everywhere...

A little spicy, but it made me laugh.

THAT meme.

Photobombed.

Did it work?

Art reflects life.

Any questions?

Accidental Renaissance.

Someone was prepared.

Applies to dogs, too.

Nerd humor.

Well, *I'd* buy it....

More art reflects life.

Dad joke.

Aviation humor.

This is me.

How to get the whole cake for yourself.

Bad day at work. This took me a couple of minutes.

Motherhood.

Modern art.

Clear as mud.

How many customers choose the fourth option?

Accurate.

A wedding photo for the ages.

A little clarity....

I see myself in this picture...

Been there, done that.

Yep.

Coming as I do from a family of engineers....

A.I.?

Disturbing...

I hope he used them...

Accurate.

The agony and the tragedy of the favorite nesting box.

Max level.

Beating the stereotype.

True.

Except after sea/see...

Arsenic and Old Lace

Guy gets kicked in the privates. This is every other guy within a 5-mile radius:

I'll admit, I chuckled.

Punctuation matters.

At least she found them...

Visuals help.

How it started ... How it's going...

I sympathize.

It's all in how you say it.

Perspective.

Seems that way.

I'm impressed.

Turning over in their graves...

Feline fun.

Know your geography.

Can't argue.

This assumes they can read.

Brilliant.

That's only about half the humor stuff I've collected, but it's enough for now. I'll post the rest at a later time. Hope you enjoyed the chuckles!