If there's one thing I absolutely love to hear, it's how peoples' good, sound, sensible choices positively impact their lives. That's the whole premise of the Simplicity Primer, after all -- the benefits of making good choices.
A couple days ago I read this letter to Dr. Laura which illustrated the point so beautifully I'm reproducing it here:
______________________________________
Dear Dr. Laura,
You asked what we as parents have taught our children about drugs. I can't answer that because I've not had children. But I want to share with you what my Mama taught me about drugs.
I was born and raised in the projects in California. Children in gangs, children taking drugs, and children having babies were all around me. One day, quite frustrated perhaps her words weren't getting through to me about certain things, Mama began pointing out the natural consequences of choices to me.
When another 12 year old girl was pregnant, Mama taught (with a very clear visual) what happens when children have children: I watched as the girl brought the baby home from the hospital, watched as the girl quit school, watched as they lived on welfare.
She did this each time something arose: a kid pinned to death to a fence, the police taking away some kid, etc.
The saddest and hardest lesson, however, came with drugs.
When my dearest friend became involved with drugs, as difficult as it was to listen to, Mama told me point-by-point what her drug use was doing to her family… Then Mama pointed out what it was doing to me: I lost my friend - not to death but because she didn't exist any longer due to drugs. I cried myself to sleep many nights. My friend used me to steal money from people she knew and left me literally holding the bag for her actions: she lied to me and deceived me.
I was a 12 year old child and my world changed. I learned there are very few choices and actions which do not affect someone else, especially those who love us.
When I entered high school I knew the signs of someone using and I stayed away from them. I had sorrow for their families and I knew the eventual consequences: dropping out of school, becoming lost, becoming worse than dead to friends and family because who they were was being eroded by the drugs.
I never experimented with drugs. Not because of what my Mama taught me, but because of what she helped me clearly see.
Perhaps today the answer for parents isn't WHAT they teach their children, but what they help their children to SEE. To see clearly is something that doesn't exist among many children today, I've observed. To be quick to observe and to learn from what others are doing - THAT is seeing clearly. And perhaps THAT way of teaching is more important than words - like how my Mama taught me.
______________________________________
God bless this woman's mama.
Occasionally I get lambasted for my "intolerant" views on poverty and welfare and other such issues because I firmly believe most (not all, but most) long-term poverty results from making poor choices. I'm not talking about temporary setbacks like unemployment or medical issues; I'm talking about chronic long-term poverty in which multiple generations of children are never taught the consequences of poor choices... just like this woman illustrates in her letter to Dr. Laura.
What kind of poor choices can result in long-term poverty? As the letter-writer mentioned, taking drugs. Having babies out of wedlock. Not finishing school. Other issues (which, remember, are choices) include having a poor work ethic. Being dishonest. Refusing to stand on one's own two feet. Having a gimme-gimme entitlement mentality.
If you haven't been raised with solid stable virtues, then they're harder to acquire. But as the letter-writer clearly demonstrates, it's entirely possible. It's people like her that give me such hope for our world.
My mother was raised in horrible poverty by a brutal alcoholic father. She could have followed the easy path and stayed in poverty by marrying a brutal alcoholic man (in fact, she got close). But she didn't. She was wise enough to know that her choices would impact her future. Instead she choose to marry a stable decent man like my father.
Choices choices choices. That's what it comes down to, folks. It's all up to you. It's in your hands.
Showing posts with label Dr. Laura. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dr. Laura. Show all posts
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Being a writer in the area of socio-political commentary, it goes without saying that I'm going to offend people. The snarks I post on this blog are proof of that (search for "snarks" in the Key Words on the left-hand side of the blog to see a few). I think it was Rush Limbaugh who said something like, You can't be successful until half the nation hates your guts.
That's why I've always admired Dr. Laura. Her no-nonsense in-your-face opinions - even when I disagree with them, which is seldom - are just the kind of common sense advice and commentary people need to hear. Which is why, of course, half the nation hates her guts.
Today on her blog she posted this commentary. It's well worth reading.
That's why I've always admired Dr. Laura. Her no-nonsense in-your-face opinions - even when I disagree with them, which is seldom - are just the kind of common sense advice and commentary people need to hear. Which is why, of course, half the nation hates her guts.
Today on her blog she posted this commentary. It's well worth reading.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The obituary
Ouch.
This appeared on the Dr. Laura website. I hope to God no one ever feels compelled to write this about me.
_______________________________
This obituary appeared in Saturday's paper. When I started reading it I kept expecting a punch line or a "just kidding," and there wasn't one. Just the sound of a lot of pain, and a life that will not "start living." I suppose they hoped the obituary would provide some sort of satisfaction, but I doubt it did. -- George
___
Born in New Mexico. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, her son, and daughter.
She is survived by her daughters and son, grandchildren & great-grandchildren. I apologize if I missed anyone.
She had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.
Her family will remember her and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will only miss what we never had: a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.
There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.
This appeared on the Dr. Laura website. I hope to God no one ever feels compelled to write this about me.
_______________________________
This obituary appeared in Saturday's paper. When I started reading it I kept expecting a punch line or a "just kidding," and there wasn't one. Just the sound of a lot of pain, and a life that will not "start living." I suppose they hoped the obituary would provide some sort of satisfaction, but I doubt it did. -- George
___
Born in New Mexico. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, her son, and daughter.
She is survived by her daughters and son, grandchildren & great-grandchildren. I apologize if I missed anyone.
She had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.
Her family will remember her and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will only miss what we never had: a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.
There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Awwww, sweet
This is a letter I lifted from the Dr. Laura website. I thought it was sweet.
_____________________________
Kids and Dirt
I've heard so many single parents talk on your show, and would like to maybe help them. For 14 years, my son and I have been a team. His father died two months before my son turned 5. Since then, we've had an incredible journey. I was moved to write the other day as I was sweeping the kitchen floor, and this is what came out. Thanks for all you do.
Dirt
I was, once again, sweeping up the dirt on the kitchen floor. Clumps of dirt that fall off the waffle soles of my son's boots, bits of shredded cheese that fall off the counter when he make's himself something to eat, dog hairs from his best friends that find their way into the corners under the cabinets... . But instead of muttering to myself, "Geesh! Will this ever end?" I burst into tears, because it IS coming to an end. My son is now a young man, and will be taking his first solo flight into the world this fall as he leaves the nest for college.
No longer will the dirt be accompanied with the face that runs into the house saying "Look what I just made!" as he shows me the ride-on mower spray painted camouflage green with an utive chair seat welded onto it, or "Come quick, you won't believe what I just found!", as we went and saw the baby bird in it's nest or "My friends and I are going to sit on top of the garage to watch the stars. Is that ok?".
No longer will the dirt be accompanied with a greasy hug (he tinkers with engines all the time now), a pocket full of Lego's (one of his favorite past times), or a flower picked just for me.
And no longer will the dirt fill my home.
But my heart is full and proud. Because the dirt did its job. It nourished and fed my boy: Body, mind and soul. He's grown into a strong, intelligent and caring young man. I know that he will go into this world and carry the dirt with him, spreading his unique style of happiness, his warmth of compassion, and his love of life with him.
Nancy
_____________________________
Kids and Dirt
I've heard so many single parents talk on your show, and would like to maybe help them. For 14 years, my son and I have been a team. His father died two months before my son turned 5. Since then, we've had an incredible journey. I was moved to write the other day as I was sweeping the kitchen floor, and this is what came out. Thanks for all you do.
Dirt
I was, once again, sweeping up the dirt on the kitchen floor. Clumps of dirt that fall off the waffle soles of my son's boots, bits of shredded cheese that fall off the counter when he make's himself something to eat, dog hairs from his best friends that find their way into the corners under the cabinets... . But instead of muttering to myself, "Geesh! Will this ever end?" I burst into tears, because it IS coming to an end. My son is now a young man, and will be taking his first solo flight into the world this fall as he leaves the nest for college.
No longer will the dirt be accompanied with the face that runs into the house saying "Look what I just made!" as he shows me the ride-on mower spray painted camouflage green with an utive chair seat welded onto it, or "Come quick, you won't believe what I just found!", as we went and saw the baby bird in it's nest or "My friends and I are going to sit on top of the garage to watch the stars. Is that ok?".
No longer will the dirt be accompanied with a greasy hug (he tinkers with engines all the time now), a pocket full of Lego's (one of his favorite past times), or a flower picked just for me.
And no longer will the dirt fill my home.
But my heart is full and proud. Because the dirt did its job. It nourished and fed my boy: Body, mind and soul. He's grown into a strong, intelligent and caring young man. I know that he will go into this world and carry the dirt with him, spreading his unique style of happiness, his warmth of compassion, and his love of life with him.
Nancy
Friday, August 28, 2009
Fifteen seconds of fame
After posting my "quick thinking" definition of lust, I decided to send the story to Dr. Laura, a sort of what-the-heck thing.
A reader emailed the next day and said she heard Dr. Laura read my email out loud on the radio!!! And I missed it!!!
Anyway, here's the link. I'm embarrassed to admit I made a typo in my letter to her. Oh well.
A reader emailed the next day and said she heard Dr. Laura read my email out loud on the radio!!! And I missed it!!!
Anyway, here's the link. I'm embarrassed to admit I made a typo in my letter to her. Oh well.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Air Force Jet Honors Slain Officer
I pulled this off the Dr. Laura website because I thought it deserved a little extra circulation.
__________________________
Air Force Jets Honor Slain Officer
June 25, 2009 on 12:00 am
This story is actually four years old, but many people seem to have discovered it only recently, so I did a little investigating, and thought it was worth sharing with you. Because this has made its way around the Internet, like the game of “Telephone,” new things have been added and some things have changed as it’s been forwarded. My staff went back to the original story to verify the facts, and that’s the one I’m posting here.
Luke Air Force Base is a little west of Phoenix, and it’s surrounded by residential developments. People have complained about the noise from the base and its planes. One day in June, 2005, an individual who lives somewhere near the base wrote the local paper complaining about the group of F-16s that disturbed his day. Here’s his Letter to the Editor of The Arizona Republic newspaper:
“Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base: Whom do we thank for the morning air show?
Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11AM, a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet. Imagine our good fortune!
Do the Tom Cruise-wannabes feel we need this wake-up call, or were they trying to impress the cashiers at Mervyns’ early-bird special?
Any response would be appreciated.
Tom MacRae”
Mr. MacRae received a response from a commander at Luke Air Force Base which was published in the newspaper the following day, but it’s the response from Lt. Col. Scott Pleus, commander of the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base that caught the attention of everyone. This letter was also published in The Arizona Republic, four days after Mr. MacRae’s initial complaint:
“Regarding “A wake-up call from Luke’s jets”:
On June 15, at precisely 9:12 a.m., a perfectly timed four-ship of F-16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt. Jeremy Fresques.
Capt. Fresques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke Air Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day.
At 9 a.m., on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City to mourn the loss of a husband, son and friend.
Based on the letter writer’s recount of the flyby, and because of the jet noise, I’m sure you didn’t hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son’s flag on behalf of the president of the United States and all those veterans and servicemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured.
A four-ship flyby is a display of respect the Air Force pays to those who gave their lives in defense of freedom. We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate respects.
The letter writer asks, ‘Whom do we thank for the morning air show?’
The 56th Fighter Wing will call for you, and forward your thanks to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques, and thank them for you, for it was in their honor that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.
Lt. Col. Scott Pleus
Luke Air Force Base”
The postscript to all of this is that Mr. MacRae, to his credit, wrote an apology that was published in The Arizona Republic on July 9:
“Regarding ‘Flyby honoring fallen comrade’
I read with increasing embarrassment and humility the response to my unfortunate letter to The Republic concerning an Air Force flyby.
I had no idea of the significance of the flyby, and would never have insulted such a fine and respectful display had I known.
I have received many calls from the fine airmen who are serving or have served at Luke, and I have attempted to explain my side and apologized for any discomfort my letter has caused.
This was simply an uninformed citizen complaining about noise.
I have been made aware in both written and verbal communications of the four-ship flyby, and my heart goes out to each and every lost serviceman and woman in this war in which we are engaged.
I have been called un-American by an unknown caller and I feel that I must address that. I served in the U.S. Navy and am a Vietnam veteran. I love my country and respect the jobs that the service organizations are doing.
Please accept my heartfelt apologies.
Tom MacRae”
__________________________
Whoever this Tom MacRae is, his apology is heart-felt and sincere. I tip my hat to him.
God bless our troops.
__________________________
Air Force Jets Honor Slain Officer
June 25, 2009 on 12:00 am
This story is actually four years old, but many people seem to have discovered it only recently, so I did a little investigating, and thought it was worth sharing with you. Because this has made its way around the Internet, like the game of “Telephone,” new things have been added and some things have changed as it’s been forwarded. My staff went back to the original story to verify the facts, and that’s the one I’m posting here.
Luke Air Force Base is a little west of Phoenix, and it’s surrounded by residential developments. People have complained about the noise from the base and its planes. One day in June, 2005, an individual who lives somewhere near the base wrote the local paper complaining about the group of F-16s that disturbed his day. Here’s his Letter to the Editor of The Arizona Republic newspaper:
“Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base: Whom do we thank for the morning air show?
Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11AM, a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet. Imagine our good fortune!
Do the Tom Cruise-wannabes feel we need this wake-up call, or were they trying to impress the cashiers at Mervyns’ early-bird special?
Any response would be appreciated.
Tom MacRae”
Mr. MacRae received a response from a commander at Luke Air Force Base which was published in the newspaper the following day, but it’s the response from Lt. Col. Scott Pleus, commander of the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base that caught the attention of everyone. This letter was also published in The Arizona Republic, four days after Mr. MacRae’s initial complaint:
“Regarding “A wake-up call from Luke’s jets”:
On June 15, at precisely 9:12 a.m., a perfectly timed four-ship of F-16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt. Jeremy Fresques.
Capt. Fresques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke Air Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day.
At 9 a.m., on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City to mourn the loss of a husband, son and friend.
Based on the letter writer’s recount of the flyby, and because of the jet noise, I’m sure you didn’t hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son’s flag on behalf of the president of the United States and all those veterans and servicemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured.
A four-ship flyby is a display of respect the Air Force pays to those who gave their lives in defense of freedom. We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate respects.
The letter writer asks, ‘Whom do we thank for the morning air show?’
The 56th Fighter Wing will call for you, and forward your thanks to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques, and thank them for you, for it was in their honor that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.
Lt. Col. Scott Pleus
Luke Air Force Base”
The postscript to all of this is that Mr. MacRae, to his credit, wrote an apology that was published in The Arizona Republic on July 9:
“Regarding ‘Flyby honoring fallen comrade’
I read with increasing embarrassment and humility the response to my unfortunate letter to The Republic concerning an Air Force flyby.
I had no idea of the significance of the flyby, and would never have insulted such a fine and respectful display had I known.
I have received many calls from the fine airmen who are serving or have served at Luke, and I have attempted to explain my side and apologized for any discomfort my letter has caused.
This was simply an uninformed citizen complaining about noise.
I have been made aware in both written and verbal communications of the four-ship flyby, and my heart goes out to each and every lost serviceman and woman in this war in which we are engaged.
I have been called un-American by an unknown caller and I feel that I must address that. I served in the U.S. Navy and am a Vietnam veteran. I love my country and respect the jobs that the service organizations are doing.
Please accept my heartfelt apologies.
Tom MacRae”
__________________________
Whoever this Tom MacRae is, his apology is heart-felt and sincere. I tip my hat to him.
God bless our troops.
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