Not on speaking terms ... with AI

As you can imagine, the rise of artificial intelligence (AI) is on everyone's mind, particularly those whose jobs or livelihoods are threatened by the new technology. As a writer, I'm grateful I've carved my niche with both my fiction and nonfiction editors before AI became a threat. (That said, I have yet to meet an editor who even remotely wants or encourages AI submissions.)

Recently, while lurking on a writer's forum, the discussion turned to using AI as an aid in generating cover art. One woman, seeking a prototype for a western-themed romance cover, wrote the following, which had the whole forum cracking up (and proved this woman can write!).

She started by giving the AI some prompts, and it went downhill from there:

"I tried AI to do scene suggestions. I prompted it to give me two people, a man and a woman, on a horse fleeing through the wilderness. I got two horses. I politely said they needed to be on the same horse. This time it was two horses with riders fleeing a fire. I, more firmly, said they needed to be riding the same horse. I got two horses with the riders using English saddles. I refrained from calling AI an idiot and went back through the list. I finally got two riders on the same horse. But they were missing legs. With gritted teeth, I said 'TWO PEOPLE, A MAN AND A WOMAN, ON A SINGLE HORSE, WESTERN SADDLE, EACH HUMAN HAVING TWO LEGS, FLEEING THROUGH THE WILDERNESS, NOT RUNNING FROM A FIRE.' I got one horse, one rider, no bridle, and a fire.

I'm currently not speaking to AI."

Join the club, honey.

Scary videos

Recently I saw a compendium of short (perhaps ten seconds apiece) videos showing Ring camera footage of house cats chasing away bears that got too close to babies on porches. That may seem like a very specific category, but there you go. I couldn't locate the original collection I watched, but you can see a few of them in these YouTube shorts:

• Here

• Here

• Here

• Here

There were more, but you get the idea.

It wasn't until I started wondering just how many stupid parents were leaving their babies unattended on porches that I noticed the fleeting logo floating around the screen:

I wouldn't have paid attention to this logo except by chance, just the day before, Older Daughter had shown me a video with the same jumping logo and explained how "Sora" is the automatic logo placed on AI videos created by Open AI. Specifically, "Sora is an AI model that can create realistic and imaginative scenes from text instructions," according to the website. Older Daughter also mentioned how some people are trying to scrub the logo by glossing over it, so if you see a video with random blurry blotches jumping around, it's the logo that's been removed.

Keep in mind that Open AI is free. There are other AI video programs that cost money, but put out a superior product (and presumably don't have a telltale logo jumping around on the screen). But even with the free program, you must admit these videos are awesomely realistic – and in that realism, they're terrifying. What happens when the video doesn't depict a heroic cat saving a baby? What happens, instead, when kindly Mr. Smith down the road is shown shoplifting from the nearby corner store? Or worse?

"Show me the man and I'll show you the crime" was a chilling statement variously attributed to Stalin or other Soviet-era miscreants. Artificial intelligence offers tools to achieve this in a way the Stalinists could only dream of.

Those cute cat videos aren't so cute after all.

Creepy technology

I came across a video recently in which some dude (speaking at double-fast speed) was describing the problem with smart technology, specifically what happens when companies abruptly decide to no longer support the product.

I didn't watch the whole thing, in large part because the double-fast speed of the speaker was driving me nuts, but I got enough of the gist to know I never, ever want any sort of smart technology in our home.

Yeah yeah, I know I'm typing this blog post on "smart" technology, but trust me when I say that's about the smartest thing we have. It's interesting how the older I get, the more I regress in terms of what I think makes for an attractive product, to wit: Is it manually operated?

The information required simply to use new gadgets astounds me. I saw a screen capture recently of a Samsung smart washer's control panel in which the user was directed to "go to settings and allow permissions for Contacts, Telephone, Location, Camera." Camera? CAMERA? On a washing machine? Why must "contacts, telephone, location, camera" be enabled to wash one's tidy whiteys? Seriously, why?

What I find extraordinary about the whole Internet of Things is how we voluntarily put our necks in the noose. None of us – with the exception of those with disabilities or other physical limitations – need "smart" appliances or lights or heating systems or vacuums or any other Internet of Things technology. These things are mere conveniences … until they're not.

Remember when a Google glitch caused thousands of people to be locked out of their homes? Lights or appliances wouldn't work, and people were left sitting in the dark and wondering why they ever thought smart technology was the way to go.

We're surrendering the most intimate details of our lives to smart technology: Wristwatches that monitor our heartbeat, toilets that analyze our "anal print," mattress pads that track our bedroom activities … the list of invasive technology is endless.

Don and I don't need a refrigerator hooked up to the internet. We don't need a smart mattress cover communicating activities to a central location. We don't need smart cars that tell us where to go or how to drive. We don't need windows that close when it rains or lowers the blinds when it's sunny. We don't need a washing machine that starts remotely. We don't need smart toilets with a built-in Alexa to "set the mood." We don't need lighting that turns itself on or off upon request. We don't need smart ovens that download recipes and lets us play games while dinner is cooking. We don't need smart aromatherapy diffusers to make the house smell nice. We don't need smart TVs that take over and perform functions we didn't ask for and don’t want. We don't need smart shoes that lace themselves and customize to our feet. We don't need a Fitbit to track and report our every movement, down to our heartbeat and footsteps. We don't need smart phones that spy on every movement, every message, every conversation, every banking transaction and every trip we take.

Ironic, isn't it, how the lyrics from the song "Every Breath You Take" (by the aptly named group The Police) turned out to be so prescient: "Every breath you take / Every move you make / Every bond you break / Every step you take / I'll be watching you. Every single day / Every word you say / Every game you play / Every night you stay / I'll be watching you. Oh can't you see / You belong to me?"

Okay, rant over.

Bots answering bots

Mornings and evenings, I let Younger Daughter's parrot out of her cage for some cage-free time. She spends some of that time flying around to various landing spots in the house, but most of the time she's on my fist while I'm at my computer, preening her feathers and just being sociable.

During these times, since I can't type on the keyboard, I either read the news (morning) or scan through various stupid YouTube videos (evening) ... which is how I found myself watching a best-of-the-month version of "Incredible Moments Caught on Camera" the other day

The video snippets themselves were interesting enough ... but the voice-over narration was abysmal. That's because it was all AI.

Artificial intelligence, as I'm fond of saying, is easy to spot because it conveys a lot of blah-blah nothing. It's fond of multi-syllabic words but somehow fails to impart any real information. Consider a few narratives that accompanied some of the video clips:

• (Regarding seagulls flocking on a beach): "Birds soar in the sky like streaks of freedom carrying hope."

• (Regarding a whale being freed from debris): "The humpback whale was rescued, a moment filled with hope and touching."

• (Regarding the massive and tragic explosion in Beirut): "The entire atmosphere trembled as explosions erupted, and everyone was compelled to turn and observe, pondering the events that had transpired."

• (Regarding a security camera catching tornado damage in the lobby of a business decorated for Christmas): "The Christmas tree and the windows were both devastated by the tornado. Oh no! This holiday season is unquestionably excessively heated. The glass door is likely being refreshed in a manner that no one desires, and the stunning Christmas tree was unable to withstand the forces of nature."

• (Regarding a tornado dark with debris): "Look! a massive black tornado containing a cloud of dust. It resembles a massive vacuum cleaner from the heavens and the earth, but it does not clean. Rather, it causes destruction. Please exercise caution and refrain from approaching."

Honestly, I could have watched it without sound, but the deeper I got into the video, the more comical the AI narration became. It was like verbal diarrhea.

Periodically the AI voice would interrupt itself to urge viewers to "kindly leave a comment in the remarks section below." So, curious, I scrolled down to the comments section. And what did I see?

• "Every second of this was truly breathtaking."

• "I’m always fascinated by the majestic beauty of nature in this video."

• "Who else got goosebumps watching this? Truly incredible!"

• "Absolutely mesmerizing!"

• "Every single moment in this video amazes me."

• "Wow, these moments are truly unbelievable!"

• "Wow, some of these moments are truly unbelievable!"

• "Truly mesmerizing! Every moment captured here is a reminder of how incredible the world can be."

• "These moments make me wonder if I’m dreaming!"

Yes, AI is leaving comments to the AI narration and saying ... blah-blah nothing. Bots answering bots.

(It's also worth noting a couple of irritable comments from real live viewers, to wit: "I've started watching these on mute. The commentary is just so inane. AI voice, pretending to have emotions, telling me what emotions and thoughts I should have... ridiculous." Definitely not AI-generated.)

Artificial intelligence. The wave of the future. Please exercise caution and refrain from approaching.

When the world grinds to a halt

Older Daughter was summoned for jury duty this morning. She dressed nicely and drove to our very small rural county seat to report for duty. What she thought was going to be a very long day of civic responsibilities turned into a very short jaunt. She was home within a couple hours.

Why? Because the global cyber security outage that happened early Friday morning even impacted the local court system, which was unable to access its own information as a result.

This is, needless to say, a massive vulnerability in an inter-connected system of anything. It's not that cybersecurity isn't necessary; but by having one access point – apparently globally – then it's vulnerable to massive disruptions. Even a very small rural county seat is affected.

Everyone is reporting the "blue screens of death."

As of this writing, the IT outage has affected banking, transportation and logistics, medical systems, news organizations, sporting events, manufacturing, supply chains, package deliveries (i.e. FedEx, UPS, Amazon),  government services, retail and e-commerce, education, and much more. As one source noted, the worldwide IT outage seemed a little "like Y2K, except it actually happened this time."

Time to check in, dear readers. Who has been impacted, and how?

The weirdness of artificial intelligence

As a writer, I've been keeping an eye on AI writing programs such as Chat GTP. So far, I'm not overly worried. Most AI-written pieces are a lot of blah-blah nothing, but of course the technology is still in its infancy.

Interestingly, Older Daughter is in more of a position to observe AI usage than I am. She volunteers in screening applicants for a live-action roleplay game, and per the rules she must refuse any AI-written applications. As a result, she sees TONS of AI stuff, and has learned instantly to identify the fake from the real, even if the fake has been run through a "humanizer."

One of the keys to identifying AI text – aside from its "perfect" grammar that no one seems to know these days – is the usage of two words: "unwavering" and "intricate." For whatever reason, AI-written text loves those two words, despite the fact that comparatively they're seldom used in real (human) writing.

In fact, consider this Twitter post:

Other words favored by AI include: commendable, innovative, meticulous, notable, and versatile.

Still, AI has its worrisome moments. For example, Older Daughter asked ChatGTP to write a bio for ... me. Most of the information was factually accurate, with one screaming exception: It had me as the co-author of a book on preschool psychology I'd never even heard of. (Can't remember the name, sorry.) The book exists, but its two co-authors clearly aren't me. Whee, nothing like misinformation!

AI can also provide laughs. We all sat around and howled with laughter a few nights ago when Older Daughter input the following prompt to ChatGTP: "Write me a few paragraphs about Don, a brilliant woodworker attempting to survive in a grim post apocalyptic world."

Here's what ChatGTP wrote, with those favorite words bolded:

In the aftermath of a catastrophic event that plunged the world into darkness, Don emerged as a beacon of resilience amidst the chaos. Once a humble carpenter, his mastery of woodworking became his greatest asset in this grim post-apocalyptic world. With a keen eye for detail and an unwavering determination, Don sought to carve out a semblance of normalcy amid the ruins.

In a world where resources were scarce and survival was a daily struggle, Don's craftsmanship became invaluable. With nothing but salvaged wood and basic tools, he fashioned shelters, furniture, and tools essential for survival. Each creation bore the mark of his skill and dedication, a testament to the enduring human spirit in the face of adversity.

But Don's talents extended beyond mere utility; they offered a glimmer of hope in a desolate landscape. His intricate carvings and sculptures served as reminders of beauty in a world consumed by darkness. Whether it was a delicately carved figurine or an ornate relief depicting scenes of a lost civilization, Don's artistry breathed life into the desolation, offering solace to those who dared to dream of a better world.

Despite the harsh realities of his existence, Don remained steadfast in his resolve to endure and rebuild. With each stroke of his chisel and every piece of wood shaped by his hands, he defied the despair that threatened to engulf him. For in the heart of this post-apocalyptic wasteland, Don found purpose and meaning through his craft, a testament to the enduring power of human creativity in the face of adversity.

Then Older Daughter gave ChatGPT another prompt: "Write a few paragraphs about Carl, an inspector of intertubes surviving in a post apocalyptic world." (Note she misspelled "inner tubes" as "intertubes." Didn't matter to ChatGTP. It took the words and ran.) This is what she got:

In the aftermath of the cataclysm that reshaped the world, Carl found himself thrust into an unexpected role as an inspector of intertubes, a vital but often overlooked aspect of survival in the post-apocalyptic landscape. Once a mundane occupation in the pre-apocalyptic world, inspecting intertubes became a matter of life and death in the harsh realities of the new world order.

Armed with little more than a flashlight and a keen eye for detail, Carl traversed the barren wastelands in search of intact intertubes, the lifelines of communication and transportation in this fractured world. With every inspection, he meticulously scrutinized each tube for signs of wear, damage, or contamination, knowing that a single flaw could spell disaster for those who relied on them for survival.

Carl's expertise extended beyond mere inspection; he became a guardian of knowledge, teaching others the importance of maintaining and preserving the intertubes that linked scattered communities across the ravaged landscape. Through his tireless efforts, he ensured that these vital arteries of communication remained functional, bridging the gaps between isolated pockets of humanity and fostering a sense of connection in an otherwise disconnected world.

But Carl's mission was not without its challenges. In a world where resources were scarce and dangers lurked at every turn, he faced constant threats from marauders, scavengers, and the elements themselves. Yet, he pressed on, driven by a sense of duty and a belief that the intertubes held the key to rebuilding civilization from the ashes of the old world.

As the days turned into years, Carl's efforts bore fruit, as the network of intertubes he helped maintain became a lifeline for those struggling to survive in the harsh new reality. Through his unwavering dedication and perseverance, Carl emerged as a beacon of hope in a world consumed by darkness, proving that even in the face of devastation, the human spirit could endure.

See what I mean about a lot of blah-blah nothing?

In some ways, this is encouraging. As a writer, methinks I'm not likely to be replaced by a computer any time soon.

Blah blah blah.

Backing up the laptop

As many of you know, I'm a fanatic when it comes to backing up my laptop. My dad (a computer expert and retired electrical engineer) hammered that wisdom into my brain years ago, and I've never regretted following his advice. Indeed, backing up has saved my fanny any number of times.

The information contained on my laptop is probably the single most valuable thing I possess. It includes all my writing and all my photos (somewhere on the order of 110,000+ of them!). I would be devastated to lose these data, hence my fanaticism in backing up.

Needless to say, I never use "the cloud" for this purpose (which is not a celestial weather formation, but merely someone else's computer). I used to back up to an external hard drive, but a couple years ago Don bought me a thumb drive which holds a massive amount of data – on the order of 512 gigabytes.

This faithful little thumb drive has served me well. Every Saturday, when my work week is finished, I first back up this blog (a harsh lesson from Granny Miller many years ago), and then I do a full-scale backup of my computer, including any new photos I uploaded. Because this represents so much data, I usually budget about three hours for the whole shebang. My archive of photos is so massive that it took about fifteen hours – no exaggeration – to back up the entire thing the first time I used the thumb drive. For this reason, I don't re-back-up the full photo archive each week, but instead just add any new photos I take.

A few weeks ago, I turned to Don and said, "I'd like you to do some research and make a purchase for me. I'd like to get another thumb drive for an extra backup." Backups to backups are always wise. (Besides, such a purchase is a write-off on our taxes.)

Anyway, he did his research and purchased a larger thumb drive, one terabyte in size.

You can see the size comparison below with my old thumb drive.

But how well does it work? I plugged it into my USB port and sample-copied a file with a bunch of photos. It was done so quickly I hardly had time to blink. Whoa!

Encouraged, I spontaneously decided to back up my entire archive of photos (remember, in excess of 110,000 pix). It – took – fifteen – minutes. Remember, the old thumb drive took about fifteen hours!

So I settled in to back up all my documents, a process that took three hours with my old thumb drive. The new thumb drive took twelve minutes. Twelve minutes!

So I'm hooked. This is a marvelous little bit of technology, and it offers me great peace of mind.

While you may not have 110,000+ photos to preserve, I strongly urge everyone to heed my father's advice and back up your computer. You won't regret it.

UPDATE: To those concerned about faulty thumb drives: No worries, I've tested this thumb drive and verified the contents, and it works perfectly. We did purchase another (cheaper) terabyte thumb drive and it didn't work at all, so I understand the concerns. Also, since we have another terabyte thumb drive ordered and on the way, and since the backup times are now so much shorter, I'll do two full-scale backups each week, and the second thumb drive will be stored in our fireproof safe where we also keep our vital documents.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Comical historical note: Here's a one megabyte hard drive being shipped by by IBM in 1956.

Hey presto! Just use AI!

Writers and editors all around the world are watching (with concern and caution) the development of artificial intelligence (AI) and its ability to provide content to blogs, magazines, news sites, etc.

It's scary stuff since AI can spit out absolutely false information with utter confidence, such as providing the name of one of America’s four female presidents (Luci Baines Johnson, who served 1973-77).

Still, at this point I can still determine the difference between genuine and artificial content, largely because AI-generated content doesn't really say anything. It's just blah-blah garbage.

As an example, I opened up ChatGTP a few months ago and typed in a prompt: "Write a 500-word synopsis of an inspirational romance novel, including characters' goals, motivations, and conflicts." It spat back a plot full of pablum. I sharpened the prompt a few times, giving it more detailed instructions, and still wasn't impressed.

Which is why I was so amused to receive an email a few days ago. In the subject line was the query, "Do You Have a Stagnant Blog?"

Here's the (no doubt AI-generated) content of the email:

"It's time to take your blogging journey to the next level. Posting content daily, or 3-4 times a week at a minimum WILL get you a lot more search engine traffic.

Sounds time consuming, right? Not anymore.

Now you can use AI to create, publish, and promote your blog posts. Say goodbye to the hours spent researching and writing, and hello to effortless content creation.

I'm doing just that with my new Content Formulator AI. Here is why this is the ultimate tool for every serious blogger:

1. Simple Setup: Content Formulator AI is easy to set up and use, whether you're a tech-savvy blogger or a beginner. No need for an OpenAI account or an API key. Just add the included plugin and connect it to Content Formulator AI.

2. Effortless Blog Posting: With just a few clicks, create blog posts up to 2,000 words long, perfect for optimizing your content for search engines and attracting organic traffic.

3. Versatile Blogging: With Content Formulator AI, you can create and post as many blog articles as you want, for yourself or for clients who pay for your services.

4. Editability and Customization: Each blog post created by AI opens in a full-featured text editor, allowing you to add your personal touch, inject thoughts or comments, and enhance the content as you see fit. You can also add original AI-generated images to make your posts visually appealing.

5. Plagiarism-Free Content: AI-generated content is original and safe to use. You can run your posts through plagiarism detectors, and they will pass with flying colors.

6. No Additional Fees: Unlike many other AI-powered platforms, Content Formulator AI does not incur any usage charges. Create as many blog posts as you want without worrying about additional fees.

7. Instant Publishing: Connect your blogs via the included plugin so you can publish (or schedule!) your blog posts with a single click.

Don't let the opportunity to revolutionize your blogging journey pass you by. Embrace the power of AI and join my growing community of bloggers who have embraced Content Formulator AI. Watch the demo [here]<--(hyperlinked)"

Um, no.

This blog, dear readers, may have its stagnant moments, but I cannot fathom a time I would ever turn to artificial intelligence to prop it up. I'm afraid you're only gonna get details of our boring and mundane lives, rather than anything spiced up AI.

Unless it's for a good laugh, of course..............

UPDATE: I just saw this and it cracked me up. Case in point.

And so it begins...

I'm working on an article that's due shortly. For a variety of reasons, I decided to submit a HARO query to obtain additional information for this article.

HARO stands for "Help a Reporter Out," and it's a service that connects journalists to sources. I joined years ago when the business was in its infancy, and it's always served me very well.

The way it works is I formulate a query ("Looking for people with expertise in xyz") and send it to HARO. They post it and blast it out to a million subscribers in one of their twice-a-day email alerts. Anyone with the expertise I'm seeking submits their answer, which is then forwarded to me. (To answer a reader's question, the service has several levels of membership; I'm using the "free" level.)

I've used HARO dozens of times, most notably back when I was writing for Crafts Report Magazine (now called Handmade Business) when it was a convenient method to connect with artists and crafters outside my sphere of influence. I "cyber-met" some fascinating and talented people through HARO queries.

Anyway, that's a long-winded way of explaining what HARO is, and why I'm skilled in submitting the types of queries that will garner me precisely the information I need for what I'm writing. Crucially, however, I haven't sent a HARO query in several years.

Yesterday I sent in a HARO query, and today it got posted. Almost immediately I received six replies.

Except ... here's the thing: Four of them were AI-generated.

How could I tell? Because all four had almost identical formats. They started as follows:

"I am [name deleted], Director of [company deleted], a digital marketing agency. With a passion for web development and design, my focus on usability and user experience has been instrumental in [company name's] success. Here is my suggestion for your query..."

 

Or, "I am [name deleted], Co-Founder and Managing Director of [company deleted], with 20 years of IT experience, a Master's in Networking, and many industry certifications. Simplifying IT for reliable business tools and faster repair. Here is my suggestion for your query..."

 

The suggestions were then some short little blah-blah piece of nonsense that had very little to do with the subject matter I was seeking. Not only that, but all four replies allegedly came from high-tech companies, completely at odds with the rural-themed subject I was seeking. The company websites were allegedly genuine, unless websites are AI-generated these days...?

The remaining two replies were clearly human-generated, with cheerful greetings and relevant information.

I thought about lodging my concerns to HARO, but it's not their business to filter replies; it's simply their business to connect journalists to sources. It's up to me to filter out the AI nonsense.

 

It's a brave new world out there, folks...

Social media. Grunt.

I hate social media, I really do.

A few years ago, when my literary agent first accepted me as a client, I had to put together a marketing proposal which included, among much else, my "platform." For many modern influencers, this includes having a social media presence on every platform under the sun.

Because I was trying to write fiction under a pseudonym at the time, the initial difficulty was trying to create a platform where none existed. I had no clue how to navigate Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, or whatever else is out there. Oh, and more crucially, I had no interest in learning.

Fortunately wiser heads (my husband and my agent) prevailed when it came to the marketing plan, with both urging me to simply write under my real name rather than trying to create a new platform using a pseudonym. That way I could incorporate this blog and all you wonderful readers.

Anyway, that's a long explanation for why I still don't have (and still don't want) a social media presence anywhere else.

That said, I do have a Facebook page, mostly for the purpose of communicating with Younger Daughter (who is in the Navy) when she's overseas. A generic Facebook page is also a good landing page for new readers trying to find me. I have a notice on the page that I'm not active on Facebook, and invite them to come here to the blog.

However I keep getting "friend" requests on that page, and frankly I'm tired of it. Why? Because these "friends" keep turning out to be creeps.

No sooner do I "friend" someone than I start getting icky messages. Samples:

• "hello beautiful lady, you got me crazy with your photos i wish we can becoming friend have been trying to send you a friend request but is not working please send me a friend request"

• "You are cute. Gorgeous! Absolutely gorgeous!"

• "Hello beautiful woman how are you doing today I hope you are having a great day today. How's the weather conditions over there now?" (and another message later) "I believe you are feeling skeptical speaking to strangers..."

(And yes, I "unfriend" people as needed.)

I've had perfect strangers try to Direct Message me (I don't reply to Direct Messages unless it's absolutely someone I know.) One woman even tried to phone me on Facebook! I made the mistake of answering at first, thinking it was Younger Daughter, then hung up instantly when I realized my mistake. She then spent several minutes lambasting me via Direct Message before unfriending me (to my relief).

Am I the only one who finds this stuff creepy? 

What baffles me is why perfect strangers would do this, especially the men. Look, guys, I'm a happily married woman who is not cute, beautiful, or gorgeous except in the eyes of the man I love, which is all I care about. I'm also old enough to be a grandmother. Quit with the ick, okay?

And apparently I'm not alone. I'm part of a forum for Love Inspired authors, and one woman posted this as a warning:

"Hi ladies,

Just a quick warning about a woman who contacted me earlier on my author page. She's a new follower and aspiring writer. She message me asking if I would like to buy her unpublished works and retweak them 🙄🙄 I politely said no that I create my own works and she persisted saying she needed the money and that she was willing to send me the copyright at a low price. I again told her no and that it would be unethical. I ended up blocking her. Her name is [redacted]. Quote from this lady: 'I follow your page. I was thinking you could retweet [sic] them to suit your own style. I have an emergency so wish u can consider the offer. I'm not selling them for much. I also see the type of books you publish. This is reason why I reach out as my style of writing is also similar.'"

 

This author concludes, "Seriously, is there a full moon tonight?"

So apparently this is pretty common.

Therefore I've decided, no more. I'll keep my Facebook page simply because it's the easiest way to communicate with Younger Daughter, but I'm never "friending" anyone ever again. Nor will I open accounts on any other site. I'm not familiar enough with social media to navigate its shoals without going aground on dangerous reefs, so I'll avoid those treacherous waters altogether.

Okay, rant over.

Well, sorta over. I'm curious. How many of you have had icky creepy experiences on social media?

Take that, Alexa!

This Husky epitomizes how I feel about Alexa and other sneaky listening devices:

Go Maya!

(Hat tip to SurvivalBlog for the link.)

Chatty refrigerators

As is well known, I have no use for a lot of modern technology, particularly anything involving the "Internet of Things."

I really don't want my toilet talking to my garden hose talking to my chest freezer talking to my rocking chair talking to my lamps talking to my credit card talking to my automobile talking to my carpeting talking to my windows talking to my doorbell talking to my vacuum cleaner talking to my oven talking to my mattress talking to my ... well, you get the idea.

Which is why the following tweet made me chuckle. Chuckle in relief, that is, that we don't own this particular model of refrigerator:

Yes, you're reading that correctly. This guy's fridge sent a scolding email that his refrigerator had been opened too many times that month.

That's not all. This man's Twitter feed includes other communications he's had with his fridge: the amount of fresh food he's put inside, how much water he's drinking, and other jolly reminders that he's being monitored.

Ever since the Internet of Things arose, I’ve been wary of anything "smart." I cannot for the life of me fathom why anyone would voluntarily purchase something that monitors everything they do and reports it back to some central location. As the saying goes, "There is no Cloud. There’s just someone else's computer."

That's why this meme always amuses me:

M preferred oven:

Writer Joshua A.T. Fairfield equates the Internet of Things with modern-day feudalism, in which we (the peasants) don't own anything, but instead must lease it from their overlords: "In this 21st-century version, companies are using intellectual property law – intended to protect ideas – to control physical objects consumers think they own."

That's why I'm suspicious of smart technology. I don't want some Google overlord telling me what I can and cannot do, locking me out of my home, preventing me from turning on lights, and tracking not just my location, but my heartbeat, tone of voice, and digestive output. Since I'm online, I'm tracked enough anyway; I don't need to spoon-feed Big Tech any more data than it already has.

Look, folks, 2021 is already dystopian enough. Why would anyone make their lives even more so by buying one of these horrible "smart" devices? Do you really want every conversation spied on and every location documented? Do you really want to live in a home that ceases to function if Google is having a bad hair day?

Meanwhile, let me show you my ideal refrigerator:

Yes, really.