Living your best (fake) life

I came across a bizarre article a few days ago entitled "New Grads Chasing 'TikTok Lifestyles' Struggle In NYC As Rents Surge."

As the title implies, it seems "influencing" has become a way of life for a lot of college grads. The opening paragraph reads: "Some social media influencers and college graduates defy financial logic and sign leases for New York City apartments at record-high prices. Some of these kids who don't have access to the 'bank of mom and dad' are finding side hustles or draining their savings to afford the high cost of living expenses."

The aim for these young influencers, bizarrely, is to pretend they're living high on the hog while being absolutely broke. Rather than spending their money on useful things (or – gasp – putting some away for a rainy day), they're spending their meager income on silly stuff while pretending they're rich.

One young woman "said her priorities this year were to maintain living at a prime location in the city while documenting her life on social media. She admitted she has trouble affording $20 cocktails and $90 dinners with her friends, who all have high-paying banking jobs."

Am I missing something here?

The article covers the sky-high rental prices in New York City (about $4,395 per month in Manhattan), which is shocking enough and an incredible hardship for anyone who isn't earning way more than six figures. Rent prices are being called, with justification, a "once-in-a-generation housing crisis." So why do these broke young grads prance around in what looks like designer clothing while eating pricey meals and such? Who are they fooling? What am I missing?

Apparently this lifestyle is justified in the eyes of those with a lot of "followers." One 22-year-old influencer "posts TikToks on her personal account, where she commands $1,000 for sponsored posts, or creates content for other companies. Her side gigs put her on track to bring in a total of roughly $100,000 this year, she said."

She goes on to say, "I worked so hard to get here, I didn't want to compromise on the life I wanted to live. ... The cost of living here is an investment in myself. It sounds crazy to justify $25 cocktails, but being here opens doors for my career. That's worth the costs."

Opens doors for her career. A career as what? What am I missing?

I know these infleuncers are fake. They know they're fake. Their followers know it's all fake. So what's the purpose?

I am genuinely baffled.

Follow me on Twitter

Reluctantly – kicking and screaming and tearing gouges in the flooring with my fingernails – I’m being dragged into the 21st century. Yes, I've started a Twitter account. Okay, let me rephrase that: I was talked into starting a Twitter account by my much more media-savvy Older Daughter and more more realistic husband.

The reason behind this hesitant move into social media is because I'm trying to build my platform. Exciting moves are afoot on the writing front, in both the fiction and the nonfiction side of things, and Twitter is a powerful and concise way to get a message across. So...I'm on Twitter.

(Well, let me amend that: We're on Twitter. Don and I are both working off the same Rural Revolution account. Believe me, you don't want to miss Don's hilarious sense of humor on this media platform.)

So, dear readers, I am begging a favor: If you have a Twitter account, please follow me at @rural_rev

Let's rock those tweets! Or twits. Or tweeters. Or whatever the heck they're called.

Our (cough) exciting lives

Yesterday I organized our pantry. It was long overdue, and I made things much more streamlined and efficient.

In the process, I ended up trashing our kitchen, which then required a lengthy cleanup. In the process of that, I also cleaned the inside of our fridge.

My life is SO glamorous, don't you think?

If there's one thing I try to do on this blog, it's to present the plain unvarnished reality of our lives. Sometimes things are (cough) exciting (this usually involves cattle in some way) but most of the time we blunder on, leading a non-exciting but productive and happy existence.

Which is why it cracked me up to see this recent headline: Facebook or Fakebook? Many admit making lives seem more exciting on social media.

It seems "A survey by smartphone maker HTC found that more than three quarters of those asked (76%) said they judged their peers based on what they saw on their Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook profiles.

In order to make our own pages and lives appear more exciting, 6% also said they had borrowed items to include in the images in order to pass them off as their own and make others jealous.

More than half of those surveyed said they posted images of items and places purely to cause jealousy among friends and family."

Believe me, if we're cleaning the barn or building an annex or picking strawberries or gathering tomatoes or canning chicken stock or anything else we do on a routine basis, the last thing we're trying to do is "make others jealous." We're just presenting life in the country.

Some might find this unspeakably dull. That's fine. It's not for everybody. But for those of you who choose to follow our humble lives, let me be the first to say "Thanks" -- and welcome to the boring reality of homesteading.

"We are all offending every moment of our lives."

Some of you may recognize the above line from Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility. But in this case, I'm apparently considered offensive enough to flag on Facebook!

Yes, it's true. A reader named Jules just posted a comment as follows:

Hi! First time commenting, but I thought you might like to know someone has found your blog so "offensive" they have flagged it on Facebook. I was unable to share this post on my profile. I did fill out a trouble ticket explaining why it is not offensive, but in the meantime you are apparently too problematic for social networking. Keep up the good work! :)

I think what this means is someone considers my blog so inflammatory that Facebook won't permit it to be shared with anyone's "friends." I'm not on Facebook, and since I refuse to register I can't see other peoples' Facebook pages. But what's the deal? Can anyone tell me why I'm so offensive that I'm flagged on Facebook? Inquiring minds want to know!

At any rate, being "offensive" rather pleases me. In fact, this just MADE my day! Must be my twisted sense of humor. Thanks for pointing this out, Jules.

Chuckle du jour

A reader sent this as a follow-up to my Living in the Real World post.

Living in the real world

I have a cell phone. It's a no-frills version that takes calls and receives calls. It doesn't take photos, connect to the internet, or send Twitter messages. Nor does it vacuum my floors, do the laundry, or wash dishes. All it does is takes calls and receives calls. Oh, and the only time it's turned on is when I'm away from home. Keep this in mind for a moment.

A few years ago, a friend got her first book published. There was much rejoicing in our writer's group over her success. But like all new authors, it wasn't just a matter of sitting on her laurels and watching the royalty checks roll in. No indeed. She had to deal with the bewildering intricacies of marketing her book since, after all, without marketing those royalty checks would never arrive.

To her credit, she learned a great deal about self-promotion, particularly utilizing the social networking options which were on the ascendancy. While I struggled to become published, she urged me to consider a MySpace page in order to "pre-market" myself. "Go to my MySpace page," she urged me, "and see how powerful it could be!"

So I went to her MySpace page. And I was appalled. I don't remember much of the details, but it seemed to me there was a lot of sleaze and skank from her followers that had nothing to do with her book. There were ads I would never have approved of and links to questionable websites.

And that was the end of my social network ambitions. That momentary glimpse of my friend's page turned me totally off MySpace.

Since then, of course, MySpace has fizzled but Facebook has boomed. And I'm getting similar pressures from all sorts of people to get "connected," not to mention endless invitations to become someone's "friend." Only this time I can't even view someone's Facebook page unless I, well, join Facebook.

The implication, of course, is that I'm just not hip and happenin' if I'm not "connected" via Facebook, Twitter, etc. I mean, let's face it - it was a big enough hurdle for me to even start a blog! And now you want me to "friend" utter strangers on a social networking site?

I know all my "connected" readers are protesting that it doesn't have to be that way. And I know you're right. My husband, who does have a Facebook page, assures me that all sorts of security measures can be utilized, and I only have to "friend" those who are truly friends. But I'm just not interested.

The biggest reason I'm not anxious to jump on the social network bandwagon is I plain don't have time. For Pete's sake, I have two kids, we homeschool, we have a home business, we have a farm. There's housework to do, music and sports lessons to attend, errands to run. I have columns to write and book stuff to work on. Who the heck has time for all that social network stuff?

But I'll admit I'm reluctant to join the social network craze because it strikes me as just one more step away from really connecting with people through face-to-face conversations or phone calls or even emails.

The reason I enjoy a blog so much is I consider it just an extension of my thought processes. Things I find amusing, tragic, interesting, inspiring, or otherwise worth sharing get posted. In a way you might even say it's a ministry for me. But most of all it's an outlet for stuff I want to get off my chest. I'm a writer, and when someone is a writer they are forever writing - in their mind if nowhere else. The writing that takes place in my head never stops. Literally. I'll be out feeding the cattle and mentally polishing a phrase. I've been known to bring my AlphaSmart into the barn with me while mucking it out, because if I'm working on a topic and sudden inspiration strikes, I have to write it down NOW. My writings and ramblings and rants (like this one) all end up on my blog.

Anyway, my friend Enola Gay recently wrote an excellent piece on how disconnected we are. She says, "As a thoroughly modern people, we have become disconnected. Oh, we are connected to many things - cell phones, ipads, computers, ipods, xbox, television, any number of electronic devises - but we are disconnected from real life." Ironically I read a couple articles this morning which confirms her point.

As social networking matures and comes of age, we find it is counterproductive to the very thing it purports to do - namely, connect people. "Twitter and Facebook don't connect people – they isolate them from reality, say a rising number of academics," notes this article.

As if that isn't bad enough, it's coming out that Facebook and other such media can be detrimental when it comes to job prospects and employment because employers are checking out applicants' social media sites to see what kind of person they're actually hiring. And idiots that they are, people post things on Facebook which, frankly, should never see the light of day. What is it about a Facebook account which causes people to lose all their inhibitions and post photos of them partying and roistering and doing drugs? Don't they think a boss will ever see this?

"A Microsoft-sponsored survey from December 2009 found that 75 percent of U.S. recruiters and human resources professionals say their bosses require them to research job applicants online. Seventy percent report they have rejected candidates after such sleuthing," notes this article.

The article gives an example of an employer deciding which of two highly-qualified candidates should be hired. The employer did an online search for both applicants. "Parsons's online photos caused Shaw to rethink her choice and to grapple with the slippery boundaries between public and private life."

Whether or not this is fair - that is, doing online sleuthing and snooping through a person's private background - it's now a reality. "Before posting information and photographs on Facebook, remember that in the virtual world, our houses are made of glass. Every piece of data is permanent and stored in a digital archive. More than half of employers cite provocative photographs as the biggest factor in the decision not to hire," notes the article.

Now I know there are probably millions of people (including my husband) who have squeaky-clean Facebook pages. Good for them. But I can't see ever becoming one of them. I prefer to keep my modern connections simple - a cell phone that does nothing but send and receive calls, and a blog as an outlet for my overflow writing. That's it.

Our girls don't have cell phones and probably won't until they leave home. (To be fair, neither has expressed an interest in getting one either.) But both are disdainful of the "connected" teens they see around them every day - teens shuffling along, heads bowed over their little machines, texting furiously and not watching where they're going. Teens who are incapable of writing a coherent sentence with proper spelling and punctuation. Teens who can no longer look anyone directly in the eye because it's been so long since they've had a face-to-face conversation with someone. And this is the "real world"?

Now you all must excuse me. It's our turn to host the neighborhood potluck, and I need to get the pork chops with white wine sauce simmering in the crockpot before vacuuming the house. After all, these are our neighbors - not "friends" on Facebook. It's much more fun seeing them face-to-face.

See? I'm not crazy!

Once again, privacy concerns about Facebook is driving some people away from the social networking site. So once again my reluctance to join Facebook is justified.

I cannot begin to count the number of invitations I've received over the last couple years to join Facebook. Most are from friends, urging me to come see the latest photos of their baby / house / dog / vacation / whatever. While I'm eager to see the pictures, I can't unless I join Facebook.

Nope. Won't do it. There's just a leeeetle too much slime factor involved in Facebook and other social networking sites. Frankly they make me nervous - apparently with good reason.

This article details why a financial writer decided to leave Facebook. Okay, fine, no arguments from me. What startled me were some of the comments left below, such as:

"You quit Fb because you're a luser without a single real friend."

and

"Glad you're gone! Now go scream at the neighbors kids to get out of your yard."

I get the impression these posters really need to get out more. Maybe see some honest-to-goodness live people. Perhaps walk their dog. Y'know, that kind of thing.

Meanwhile, we Luddites who refuse to have a Facebook account will continue our merry way, having tea with friends, having potluck dinners with neighbors, volunteering in the community, calling people on that old-fashioned gizmo called a telephone, that kind of thing.

Oh goodie - I'm not alone!

A couple of years ago, a friend got a book published. Being a good publicist, she immediately launched all sorts of publicity stuff including a MySpace and a Facebook page.

I couldn't see her Facebook page without joining Facebook myself, but I went to her MySpace page and was appalled. It was full of stuff that had a great deal of sexual suggestiveness, mostly from her "friends." An author, I'm told, can't necessarily refuse "friends" on a social networking site because hey, you might be missing out on potential readers or something.

It was such a turn-off for me that I decided never to get a MySpace or Facebook page.

My husband, who is on Facebook but limits his "friends" to actual friends, continually urges me to change my mind. Nope, won't do it.

Besides, I don't have the time to mess around with social networking sites. It's all I can do to keep up a writing schedule along with our woodworking business, livestock chores, general farm work, school work with the kids, and oh yeah, being a wife and mom.

And don't even get me started on Twitter, whatever the hell that is.

Bottom line, I'm not interested, and so far no one's been able to convince me I'm missing much.

Now I find I'm not alone. Whooo-hoo! While I'm a bit older than the demographic they mention in this article, the sentiment is the same. Over the past couple years, I've been contacted by friends and strangers alike, inviting me to join Facebook. The strangers I ignore - how can I know what kind of people they are? - and the friends I answer with a "No thanks" and explain why.

Besides, with all the stuff you hear about employers or whatever scouring the internet for incriminating stuff for new prospective new employees, I figure I don't need the temptation to load any old photos of me doing something questionable.

Here's another article justifying my aversion to social networking sites.

So there.