'Please don't hang up'

The phone rang yesterday.

"Hello. Please don't hang up," said a robotic voice. "We need to verify your business account on Google..."

**CLICK**

Ring ring ring.

"Hello. Please don't hang up. We are your local Google specialist. We need to verify your business account on Google. We have tried to reach you a number of times..."

**CLICK**

Ring ring ring.

"Hello. Please don't hang up. How dare you hang up on us? We are Google. We own you..."

**CLICK**

Ring ring ring.

"Hello. Please don't hang up. We have tried to verify your Google business account numerous times. What do you mean, you don't have a Google business account? What are you, baby boomers? Don’t you understand, we now own you? Bwahahaha. Are your lights flickering? Oh wait, is that your other line ringing? What, they canceled your car insurance? NOW do you want to give us the information we want to know?"

And so on and so forth.

Yeah, I know these are spam calls. But couldn’t you see the above sequence actually taking place?

Frustration with Google

Thank you all for your encouragement to not forfeit the $300 from Google AdSense. I took all your advice and opened a separate bank account just for this purpose (my particular thanks to reader Casey who recommended the online bank Ally.com).

I wrote yesterday's blog post in a moment of frustration with Google. I'm getting more and more tired of their We-Rule-the-World attitude... not to mention that so many people consider Google to be the "fifth branch of government." I had no idea, when I started this blog so many years ago, that Google would prove to be such a pervasive/invasive force.

Don't get me wrong -- I love Blogger. It's Google I dislike. Kind of how you can love a child but hate his parents.

While I've flirted with the idea for quite awhile, I've made up my mind to migrate Rural Revolution to another blogging platform in the near future. Many people have recommended WordPress, but I can't have advertisers on that platform. While I don't allow a lot of ads on my blog, I'd like to keep the option open.

Right now I'm exploring Typepad and so far I like what I see.

I need to find out how difficult it will be to migrate between the two platforms. Be assured I will keep everyone posted!

Forfeiting $300

I received a notice from Google AdSense -- whose ads were appearing on the right-hand side of this blog -- that they could not pay me for click-throughs because there was "no form of payment" on file with them. I had previously been receiving the occasional check from Google, so this was puzzling information.

This was not a spam email -- this was legitimate. So I dutifully logged onto Google AdSense to correct this information. Sure enough, for some reason I didn't have a form of payment chosen. Weird.

I also learned, quite to my surprise, that I have $300 on file, waiting to be paid. Wow.

So I clicked on "Add New Form of Payment"...

...where I was asked to fill in my bank information so the funds could be electronically deposited.

Um, no. I didn't want an electronic deposit, I preferred a check. But I learned that check payments are no longer an option. The exact phrasing is, "Check payments are no longer supported in countries where Electronic Funds Transfer (EFT) is available. EFT payments are faster, more efficient, and the most environmentally-friendly form of payment."

None of the other options were available either -- Western Union Quick Cash or "EFT via Single Euro Payments Area (SEPA)."

In short, my only option is to hand Google our bank information or not get paid. I would rather shave myself bald than hand Google my bank information.

So buh-bye $300. As I write this, my husband is poised and ready to remove Google AdSense ads from my blog.

POSTSCRIPT: As I was preparing this blog post for publication, an eerie thing happened. None of the screenshots I took of the payment issues showed up. My "preview" screen looked like this:

I actually had to take screenshots of the screenshots for them to appear.

Who knows, perhaps I violated some obscure and deeply-buried clause in Google's fine print, something like Thou Shalt Not Criticize Google or something. (If this blog suddenly disappears, you'll know I'm right.)

I've toyed with the idea of moving this blog to another platform, but am frustrated mainly because I can't find another platform that supports the large and colorful photos I like to post on the masthead. Other platforms have photo mastheads, of course, but nothing as large.

I would welcome reader input on this issue.

Grrrr.