Is paper dead?

Reader Ken sent this. Absolutely cracked me up.

The strangest ad I ever saw

While continuing my ongoing deep purging of odd nooks and crannies around the house, I came across something I'm very glad I kept: an advertisement.

Let me first give you the backstory. Back in 1981, as a college student, once in awhile I would pick up an issue of Mother Earth News. This was still when the periodical was in its hippy-dippy days, and amongst all the information on how to create tie-die sheets and other fashion challenges, it had a great Personals section in the back. My friends and I would read these Personal ads out loud to each other, highlighting the crunchy-organic requirements ("soul-sister" "vegetarian" "acupressure") along with the serious ("family-oriented" "lonely" "must love children").

So one day I picked up the May/June 1981 issue of Mother Earth News...

...and proceeded to read the ads out loud to my roommates. Suddenly I came across a Personal ad that was so startling, so jaw-dropping, so freaky-weird, that we couldn't believe it was real. I ended up tearing out the page and tacking it to our apartment bulletin board.

All now, these years later, I found the torn-out sheet. The ad still qualifies as the freakiest, weirdest ad I ever saw:

"Want young lady as a personal associate and companion to a financially secure married woman on a Pacific island mountainside estate whose lifestyle is reclusive, private, sheltered, and who enjoys nature, gardening, cooking, and wifely duties. Most of the amenities, social graces, and high-class living available and expected. So there will be no misunderstandings, look to the dictionary for the definitions of associate and companion. Girl must be educated, mousey, quiet, shy, reclusive, preferably Caucasian; young, healthy and of small frame, about 115 lbs. No drugs or religious freaks. Send full-length pictures in various attire along with very complete statistics of self. Personal interview, complete medical checkup, and trial period will be required. Compensation for this job will be minimal wage, room and board."

What the ...?

Mousey? Small frame? Full-length photos in various attire? What...?

My roommates jokingly urged me to apply (I fit most of the requirements), and the budding writer in me spent a long time pondering what on earth the true purpose an advertisement like this could be. My speculation was they were looking for a surrogate womb, a sort of The Handmaid's Tale (an ugly, freaky read if there ever was one).

All these years later, I have no better explanation. There is no possible way to follow up, of course.

And this, dear readers, qualifies as the strangest ad I ever saw -- bar none.

Want to advertise with us?

Howdy all:

Husband-of-the-boss here. Recently, Patrice and I have been talking about advertising on the blog. As many of you "old timers" here at RR.com probably remember, we used to run advertising along the right margin for products and services we thought might be of interest to Patrice's readers (mainly because they were of interest to us). We had a lot of big-name internet businesses, the kind you see on most of the other prepper/self-sufficiency sites. But we finally closed that down because it was a bit too commercial for us.

However we’re reconsidering ads, but only of a certain kind: we’d like to showcase home businesses with products that might appeal to our rural- or preparedness-oriented readers. No more big mega-companies (with the exception of Tattler reusable canning lids) – instead, if you have a home product or service to sell, this might be your chance.

Patrice has a pretty good readership. She gets about a million unique visits a year. And there's no doubt about the target market: It’s people who enjoy independence, preparedness, self-sufficiency, homesteading, rural living, etc.

So we're going to offer ten advertising blocks on the right side of the blog. Each will be 160 x 160 pixels (if you need me to, I can create an ad for your approval as part of the cost), and we'll put in the necessary script to make the ads change position frequently. Ads will be $50/month with a two-month minimum. If an advertiser has a special or a new product, we can post an announcement on the blog (within reason; if you have a “new product” every day, we’ll probably have to talk).

If this sounds like something you’d like to try, let us know. You can email me at ruralrevolution@hotmail.com. Please remember, these ad spots will be for small businesses, small authors, homesteaders, preppers, etc., and the products and services being offered must be related to self-sufficiency, preparedness, or simple living.

Forfeiting $300

I received a notice from Google AdSense -- whose ads were appearing on the right-hand side of this blog -- that they could not pay me for click-throughs because there was "no form of payment" on file with them. I had previously been receiving the occasional check from Google, so this was puzzling information.

This was not a spam email -- this was legitimate. So I dutifully logged onto Google AdSense to correct this information. Sure enough, for some reason I didn't have a form of payment chosen. Weird.

I also learned, quite to my surprise, that I have $300 on file, waiting to be paid. Wow.

So I clicked on "Add New Form of Payment"...

...where I was asked to fill in my bank information so the funds could be electronically deposited.

Um, no. I didn't want an electronic deposit, I preferred a check. But I learned that check payments are no longer an option. The exact phrasing is, "Check payments are no longer supported in countries where Electronic Funds Transfer (EFT) is available. EFT payments are faster, more efficient, and the most environmentally-friendly form of payment."

None of the other options were available either -- Western Union Quick Cash or "EFT via Single Euro Payments Area (SEPA)."

In short, my only option is to hand Google our bank information or not get paid. I would rather shave myself bald than hand Google my bank information.

So buh-bye $300. As I write this, my husband is poised and ready to remove Google AdSense ads from my blog.

POSTSCRIPT: As I was preparing this blog post for publication, an eerie thing happened. None of the screenshots I took of the payment issues showed up. My "preview" screen looked like this:

I actually had to take screenshots of the screenshots for them to appear.

Who knows, perhaps I violated some obscure and deeply-buried clause in Google's fine print, something like Thou Shalt Not Criticize Google or something. (If this blog suddenly disappears, you'll know I'm right.)

I've toyed with the idea of moving this blog to another platform, but am frustrated mainly because I can't find another platform that supports the large and colorful photos I like to post on the masthead. Other platforms have photo mastheads, of course, but nothing as large.

I would welcome reader input on this issue.

Grrrr.

Ads we'll never see again

These have been circulating around the internet. You think advertisements are offensive today? Ha! They ain't got nothin' on the ads of yesteryear! Take a gander at some of these beauties.

Of course you'll never see an ad like this in urban areas. But they're all over the place in Middle America.

Finally, I don't know if I would classify this as offensive... but I thought it was hilarious.

An award-winning ad (see update at bottom)

Here's an award winning ad from Kia. (Click on the link to pull up a larger version in order to read the text.)

What were these people thinking?

Never mind. We know what they're thinking. And they've just convinced me NEVER to buy a Kia. Congrats!
______________________

UPDATE: Thanks to reader AP's excellent sleuthing, you can make your thoughts known to the Kia folks by contacting the following:

Scott McKee, Director of KIA-USA Public Relations
c/o KIA-USA
111 Peters Canyon Road
Irvine, CA 92606

email: smckee@kiausa.com
phone: 949-468-4813

I sent the following email:

Congratulations on your new award-winning ad! It has worked beautifully and convinced me never, ever, ever, ever, ever to purchase a Kia vehicle.

- Patrice Lewis

Shockingly offensive ads

Here's a fascinating little article. You think advertisements are appalling today? Take a gander at some of these vintage ads and be glad those attitudes are (mostly) gone.

What a nice email!

Here is a reader who actually took the time to write a thank-you for the service she received from one of our advertisers.  I cannot even begin to say how cool this is!  Mary, thank you for writing this - it means a lot to me!
______________________________________

Date: Tue, 7 Dec 2010 22:23:02 -0500

Hi Patrice,

Just wanted to let you know that I placed an order with Oklahoma Pastry and had a great-prompt-response!

Not sure how the whole "advertise on a blog" works- I'm lucky to get an e-mail sent:) but I am assuming this is the case and thought I'd let you know that this one is terrific. Also ordered several of Carla Emory' books -haven't arrived yet  but heck, they're books! And also some stuff from your friend, Enola. I suppose it's a good thing that you don't have a lot more choices:)

Anyway-if this helps you make some decision as to whether listing them is a good idea-go for the affirmative!

Is this the best e-mail address for you- I don't leave a lot of comments on blogs but would like to keep in touch once in a while -but don't want to use your "business only" one if this is the case-(in our house there is only one!)

Ok, enough for now-I know you are busy.

Mary

How nice of them to help me decide!

I was never a big fan of designer jeans (except the kind you get at thrift stores), but now I don't ever have to worry about buying any Calvin Klein jeans.

Consider this billboard advertisement in New York:



Why would a company deliberately advertise its products by illustrating a perverted sexual romp (possibly involving minors) and then put it on a billboard so large that the body parts are the size of automobiles? Is this suppose to encourage us to buy their jeans?

It certainly is thoughtful of the Calvin Klein company to help make up my mind never to buy any of their products. I'd say their advertising campaign is a smashing success.