Now this is fascinating -- and very very sad.
A couple of years ago, I wrote a column for WND entitled Help! My 15-year-old daughter is having sex! It sparked a lively debate among readers, many of whom flatly disagreed with my stance and defended teen sex as normal and healthy.
Just this morning (I get notifications of such things) another comment was added to the column from a 15 year old girl as follows. Some horrific swear words were "bleeped out" (I get the unedited version). Before reading her comment, please read the column first to understand the context.
As a fifteen year old girl, who is a virgin, a straight A student, a feminist, and a liberal (things you obviously don't agree with) the first thing that came to my mind after reading this is what the ***.
Firstly, I would like to comment on the homeschooling/ private school section of this. Children put in private schools, especially religious ones, tend to have sex earlier and party harder because when you are put in a strict environment you tend to want to rebel. Children who are homeschooled, if they don't have enough extracurricular activities, are weirdos. Sorry, but people have to interact with other people their own age. A fifteen year old shouldn't be spending all her time with her parents. You need friends and interaction to be able to learn how to function in society and be able to create your own opinions and ways of thinking.
Next, lets talk about the slut shaming in this. Having sex, no matter your age, does not make you a whore, slut, bad person, or anything negative. Sex is a decision between two people and they can choose to do whatever makes them comfortable. You cannot speak for someone you have never met. You do not know why she chose to have sex and you can't say it was from pear pressure because you do not know. Maybe she felt ready and her boyfriend felt ready so they made the decision to have intercourse with each other. Maybe she thought it would make their relationship better. Maybe she was horny and decided to just go for it. You don't know and it's not your place to guess or to judge. You also cannot speak for this girl's mother when you talk about what you think her parenting style is. You have not met any of these people so you cannot speak about them or for them.
I will also talk about how you say staying married is important. Single parents can raise a child perfectly fine. A person doesn't need a mother and a father, they just need female and male role models. Staying married won't change how early someone has their sexual debut.
Now lets talk about contraceptives. These are so very important because whether you like it or not teenagers are having sex. In every generation in the past, present and future teenagers have always been and will always have sex. Contraceptives like condoms, the pill, IUDs, the shot, the patch, etc. reduce the chance of a person getting pregnant. This is important because sometimes people don't want a kid. Is that surprising to you? People are going to have sex no matter what so providing birth control is necessary to prevent teen pregnancy.
You also made a facetious comment about abortions. Any living creature has the right to decide what happens to THEIR body and who gets to "use it". This means no one gets to use their body without permission. That could be a man, a woman, or in the case of abortions a fetus. You are in control of your own body and no one gets to use it unless you say okay. So if someone decides to terminate a pregnancy because they don't want a child to grow inside them, that is their *** damn business and it should not concern you. I am not pro-abortion, I am pro-choice. Meaning that I believe no one else should have a say in what you decide.
To close my argument, although i have so much more to say about this, I'll talk about this comment, "Too often, modern parenting techniques are antithetical to the old-fashioned time-tested ways to raise children, complete with restrictions, religious values, discipline, repercussions, training and high expectations of moral behavior." The reason for modern parenting techniques instead of old-fashioned time-tested ways is that people evolve with the times. If we didn't we all would be sold into marriage, people would be stoned for committing crimes, and we would burn "witches" at the stake. Times change and so should parenting techniques. When your baby cries you probably shouldn't give it whiskey or wine because we now know that alcohol is bad for people, especially infants. Swaddling techniques have changed. Car seats have changed. Dietary habits for kids has changed. Disciplinary acts for teenagers has changed. Approaches to dealing with teenagers expressing their sexuality has changed because now we now better. Do we know everything? No. Is that okay? Yes. Should we be open to other opinions? Yeah. Should you realize that things change and thats okay? Yup. No matter what you tell your kids are they still going to make their own decisions? Yes because everyone is an individual and you have to realize that. Get with the times and open your *** damn eyes because sheltering your kids isn't going to help anyone.
To be quite truthful, I feel achingly sorry for this child. Liberals like to accuse conservatives of "brainwashing" their children to be good moral decent citizens. But can you honestly say this poor kid hasn't been brainwashed into liberalism? She parroted every talking point in the left-leaning spectrum without, I'm guessing, any true comprehension of how easy sex, easy contraceptives, and easy abortions can impact a young girl's life forever.
The progressive mindset that self-control must equal repression is a clear sign of this girl's immaturity. Hey, the sky's the limit, do whatever you feeeeeel like doing! Who cares what the consequences might be? If the 15-year-olds in question feel "ready" for sex, whoo-hoo! The kids are "horny" so they shouldn't bother their little heads about about self-control -- go for it! If the birth control fails, that's what abortions are for!
Thanks but no thanks. I'd rather have teens who are "weirdos" (her term) than teens like this young lady. I don't want to "get with the times" if the "times" produce fruit like this.
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Friday, January 2, 2015
Why do teenagers rebel? Thoughts from a 19-year-old who didn’t
If you recall, Older Daughter just turned 19. She's been a model kid -- respectful, helpful, not given to angst and drama.
It's the same thing with Younger Daughter (age 16) -- no angst or drama, lots of respect. We definitely lucked out in the kid department.
Adolescence is always a dicey prospect for any parent. I've known kids with lousy parents who turned out great, and I've known kids of terrific parents who were anything from a handful (at one end of the spectrum) to horrible (at the other hand). Teenage rebellion is always tough, but eventually it's up to the teens themselves to decide whether to straighten out by the time they're adults (as most do) or whether to embark on a lifetime of bad choices and rotten behavior that will affect them (and their own children) for decades.
There is no cut-and-dried formula to get kids through their teenage years without rebellion. Variables include the personality of the child, religious influences, schooling methods, and of course parenting strategies. There is absolutely no one-size-fits-all approach that works for everyone.
But recently I found a fascinating column in which a mother asked her 19 year old daughter to articulate just why she didn't rebel. In response, the daughter wrote an astoundingly insightful essay (they're Canadian, hence the slight variation in spelling).
Here are the five primary points this teen raised:
• My parents instilled in me a sense of family honour
• My parents were extremely encouraging, but also demanding
• My family talks about everything
• We were never expected to rebel as teenagers
• God was centre in our home
While this young lady's explanation won't guarantee a home free from rebellion and strife, I found her insight fascinating. Well worth reading.
It's the same thing with Younger Daughter (age 16) -- no angst or drama, lots of respect. We definitely lucked out in the kid department.
Adolescence is always a dicey prospect for any parent. I've known kids with lousy parents who turned out great, and I've known kids of terrific parents who were anything from a handful (at one end of the spectrum) to horrible (at the other hand). Teenage rebellion is always tough, but eventually it's up to the teens themselves to decide whether to straighten out by the time they're adults (as most do) or whether to embark on a lifetime of bad choices and rotten behavior that will affect them (and their own children) for decades.
There is no cut-and-dried formula to get kids through their teenage years without rebellion. Variables include the personality of the child, religious influences, schooling methods, and of course parenting strategies. There is absolutely no one-size-fits-all approach that works for everyone.
But recently I found a fascinating column in which a mother asked her 19 year old daughter to articulate just why she didn't rebel. In response, the daughter wrote an astoundingly insightful essay (they're Canadian, hence the slight variation in spelling).
Here are the five primary points this teen raised:
• My parents instilled in me a sense of family honour
• My parents were extremely encouraging, but also demanding
• My family talks about everything
• We were never expected to rebel as teenagers
• God was centre in our home
While this young lady's explanation won't guarantee a home free from rebellion and strife, I found her insight fascinating. Well worth reading.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Tragic piece of journalism
A friend sent me a link to an article called Parents' Worst Nightmare: Kids Are Jealous of 'Teen Mom' Stars. My friend called it a tragic piece of journalism.
It seems there are reality TV shows depicting teenage mothers and what their lives are like. We don't have television reception so I was unaware of this genre of reality programs.
Apparently the shows were filmed as cautionary tales against teen pregnancy. However a study found -- what a surprise! -- that "young fans of these two series are shockingly envious of the shows' stars." The reason, apparently, is because these teen moms "have an enviable quality of life; high incomes; supportive, loyal romantic partners; and children who are cared for well."
Even though the shows are supposed to be "cautionary," impressionable viewers doubtless get these reality teens mixed up with single celebrity moms who "have the time, money, and hired help to squeeze in red-carpet appearances, European vacations, date nights and parenting duties."
I hate to break it to teens, but motherhood -- especially single motherhood before you're 18 -- bears absolutely no resemblance to Hollywood moms. In other words, reality trumps reality shows.
The article states, "What could possibly be enviable about the lives of single, teenage mothers? Let's see. Janelle Evans, 21, mother of a 16-month-old son has battled a heroin addiction and has multiple arrests under her belt. In 2010, she lost custody of her son, and she is currently pregnant with her second child. Farrah Abraham, a 22-year-old with a 3-year-old daughter, made a sex tape with porn star James Deen and is now starring on VH1's "Couples Therapy." And Amber Portwood, 24, mother of a 4-year-old daughter, was arrested for domestic violence in 2010 after beating her child's father in front of the little girl. She recently admitted to Us Weekly that she was high on drugs for most of the filming."
I wonder if any of this misbehavior was documented on the show?
My friend who sent me this link confirmed these dire statistics. She wrote, "One of the show's 'stars' resided a county over from our hometown. She is constantly in the news for probation violations, arrests, etc. Awful to think she is a role model for young girls. Grrrr."
Up to this point I thought the shallow writers at Yahoo handled the subject quite well. But toward the end of the article I saw this... and my jaw hit the floor:
Let's be clear: There's nothing inherently wrong with choosing to be a single mother if you're mature, responsible, and financially independent.
Okay. There's "nothing wrong" with intentionally depriving your children of a father's love. I see.
Idiots.
It seems there are reality TV shows depicting teenage mothers and what their lives are like. We don't have television reception so I was unaware of this genre of reality programs.
Apparently the shows were filmed as cautionary tales against teen pregnancy. However a study found -- what a surprise! -- that "young fans of these two series are shockingly envious of the shows' stars." The reason, apparently, is because these teen moms "have an enviable quality of life; high incomes; supportive, loyal romantic partners; and children who are cared for well."
Even though the shows are supposed to be "cautionary," impressionable viewers doubtless get these reality teens mixed up with single celebrity moms who "have the time, money, and hired help to squeeze in red-carpet appearances, European vacations, date nights and parenting duties."
I hate to break it to teens, but motherhood -- especially single motherhood before you're 18 -- bears absolutely no resemblance to Hollywood moms. In other words, reality trumps reality shows.
The article states, "What could possibly be enviable about the lives of single, teenage mothers? Let's see. Janelle Evans, 21, mother of a 16-month-old son has battled a heroin addiction and has multiple arrests under her belt. In 2010, she lost custody of her son, and she is currently pregnant with her second child. Farrah Abraham, a 22-year-old with a 3-year-old daughter, made a sex tape with porn star James Deen and is now starring on VH1's "Couples Therapy." And Amber Portwood, 24, mother of a 4-year-old daughter, was arrested for domestic violence in 2010 after beating her child's father in front of the little girl. She recently admitted to Us Weekly that she was high on drugs for most of the filming."
I wonder if any of this misbehavior was documented on the show?
My friend who sent me this link confirmed these dire statistics. She wrote, "One of the show's 'stars' resided a county over from our hometown. She is constantly in the news for probation violations, arrests, etc. Awful to think she is a role model for young girls. Grrrr."
Up to this point I thought the shallow writers at Yahoo handled the subject quite well. But toward the end of the article I saw this... and my jaw hit the floor:
Let's be clear: There's nothing inherently wrong with choosing to be a single mother if you're mature, responsible, and financially independent.
Okay. There's "nothing wrong" with intentionally depriving your children of a father's love. I see.
Idiots.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Teen questionnaire
This morning I was reading an article on WND entitled Homeschooler's Neighbor Sparks Social Services Case. The topic of the article aside, I found this fascinating attachment in the comments following the article. It's called Teen Questionnaire, 13 to 18 Years Old:
Apparently this is a Kaiser Permanente insurance form. Because the screenshot is so small, I transcribed the questions as follows:
1. Do you always wear a seatbelt when riding in a car?
2. Do you ever use a bike, scooter, skateboard, skis/snowboard, or rollerblades WITHOUT a helmet?
3. Have you ever had a sunburn?
4. Do you play sports or get at least 60 minutes of active physical play each day?
5. Do you eat five or more servings of vegetables or fruits every day?
6. Do you usually drink more than one soda, juice, or sports drink each day?
7. Do you usually spend more than two hours a day watching TV or movies, playing video games, or using the computer?
8. Are you using supplements (such as creatine, andro, or steroids)?
9. In the past year, have you used laxatives, diet pills, or made yourself vomit to try to lose weight?
10. Have your grades been dropping at school?
11. Are you having any problems at school?
12. Do you, your parents, or any of your friends have a gun?
13. Have you ever been physically abused by an adult?
14. Have you ever been forced or pressured to have sex?
15. Have you ever been in trouble with the law?
16. Are your close friends gang members?
17. Does anyone smoke in your home?
18. Have you smoked cigarettes or chewed tobacco during the past year?
19. Do your close friends drink alcohol or get high?
20. Have you ever been in a car with a driver who had too much to drink or was high?
21. During the past year did you drink any alcohol?
22. Have you ever tried drugs (such as marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy, glue, or meth)?
23. During the past few weeks, have you OFTEN felt sad, down, or hopeless?
24. Have you seriously thought about killing yourself, made a plan, or tried to kill yourself?
25. Who do you live with?
26. Do you feel safe at home?
27. Have you had sex (including oral, vaginal, or anal sex)?
28. Do you sometimes have sexual feelings for someone of your own sex (gay or lesbian feeling)?
29. If you have any other concerns, please write them here.
Here are a couple of comments left after this attachment:
One person writes: This is the form that is given out at the doctor's office. They want the child and the parent to fill out separate forms in order to compare answers. We have refused these questionnaires each time they have been given to us. The receptionist admitted to me when I questioned the form that this for does not affect our insurance or the care my children receive. She said that the doctor wanted the information, but my doctor said that the clinic wanted it. Too much information!
Another person writes: Questions #1, 2, 12, 17 are looking for obedience. Question #20 calls for speculation by an unqualified individual. Questions# 22, 24, 28 can be construed as enticement. Question# 27a is simply asinine
I've never seen such a form from our doctors, but then we don't have Kaiser. Has anyone else seen something like this?
Apparently this is a Kaiser Permanente insurance form. Because the screenshot is so small, I transcribed the questions as follows:
1. Do you always wear a seatbelt when riding in a car?
2. Do you ever use a bike, scooter, skateboard, skis/snowboard, or rollerblades WITHOUT a helmet?
3. Have you ever had a sunburn?
4. Do you play sports or get at least 60 minutes of active physical play each day?
5. Do you eat five or more servings of vegetables or fruits every day?
6. Do you usually drink more than one soda, juice, or sports drink each day?
7. Do you usually spend more than two hours a day watching TV or movies, playing video games, or using the computer?
8. Are you using supplements (such as creatine, andro, or steroids)?
9. In the past year, have you used laxatives, diet pills, or made yourself vomit to try to lose weight?
10. Have your grades been dropping at school?
11. Are you having any problems at school?
12. Do you, your parents, or any of your friends have a gun?
13. Have you ever been physically abused by an adult?
14. Have you ever been forced or pressured to have sex?
15. Have you ever been in trouble with the law?
16. Are your close friends gang members?
17. Does anyone smoke in your home?
18. Have you smoked cigarettes or chewed tobacco during the past year?
19. Do your close friends drink alcohol or get high?
20. Have you ever been in a car with a driver who had too much to drink or was high?
21. During the past year did you drink any alcohol?
22. Have you ever tried drugs (such as marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy, glue, or meth)?
23. During the past few weeks, have you OFTEN felt sad, down, or hopeless?
24. Have you seriously thought about killing yourself, made a plan, or tried to kill yourself?
25. Who do you live with?
26. Do you feel safe at home?
27. Have you had sex (including oral, vaginal, or anal sex)?
28. Do you sometimes have sexual feelings for someone of your own sex (gay or lesbian feeling)?
29. If you have any other concerns, please write them here.
Here are a couple of comments left after this attachment:
One person writes: This is the form that is given out at the doctor's office. They want the child and the parent to fill out separate forms in order to compare answers. We have refused these questionnaires each time they have been given to us. The receptionist admitted to me when I questioned the form that this for does not affect our insurance or the care my children receive. She said that the doctor wanted the information, but my doctor said that the clinic wanted it. Too much information!
Another person writes: Questions #1, 2, 12, 17 are looking for obedience. Question #20 calls for speculation by an unqualified individual. Questions# 22, 24, 28 can be construed as enticement. Question# 27a is simply asinine
I've never seen such a form from our doctors, but then we don't have Kaiser. Has anyone else seen something like this?
Monday, July 11, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Little tramps
At least, someone in the mainstream media who isn't afraid to state the obvious!
Here's a piece by CNN contributor LZ Granderson entitled Parents, Don't Dress Your Girls Like Tramps. Major kudos to Mr. Granderson for having the cajones to not mince words.
As the mother of daughters, we (meaning, our girls and I) are constantly amazed by the trash that passes for "fashion." I suppose if you consider it fashionable to dress girls like skanks, then that would explain why underwear is now worn as clothing. Go figure.
A few days ago someone (I'm not sure who -- it was delivered third-hand) donated a bag of clothing for my soon-to-be-thirteen-year-old Younger Daughter. Let me re-emphasize: thirteen. I don't know who thought the fashions would be acceptable in our family, but I'll give the mysterious donor the benefit of the doubt and assume they're just in the "fashionable" club.
Ambercrombie & Fitch is a clothing manufacturer infamous for selling thong underwear for six-year-olds. While I'm not positive this shirt advertises the company, there's no possible way I'm allowing my daughter to take that chance.
And this? Do you honestly think I'd allow my young teen to wear this in public? NOT!!
Who's at fault for this kind of trash being on the market? "No successful retailer would consider introducing an item like a padded bikini top for kindergarteners if they didn't think people would buy it," notes Mr. Granderson. "If they didn't think parents would buy it, which begs the question: What in the hell is wrong with us?...It's easy to blast companies for introducing the sexy wear, but our ire really should be directed at the parents who think low rise jeans for a second grader is cute. They are the ones who are spending the money to fuel this budding trend. They are the ones who are suppose to decide what's appropriate for their young children to wear, not executives looking to brew up controversy or turn a profit."
I couldn't agree more.
Here's a piece by CNN contributor LZ Granderson entitled Parents, Don't Dress Your Girls Like Tramps. Major kudos to Mr. Granderson for having the cajones to not mince words.
As the mother of daughters, we (meaning, our girls and I) are constantly amazed by the trash that passes for "fashion." I suppose if you consider it fashionable to dress girls like skanks, then that would explain why underwear is now worn as clothing. Go figure.
A few days ago someone (I'm not sure who -- it was delivered third-hand) donated a bag of clothing for my soon-to-be-thirteen-year-old Younger Daughter. Let me re-emphasize: thirteen. I don't know who thought the fashions would be acceptable in our family, but I'll give the mysterious donor the benefit of the doubt and assume they're just in the "fashionable" club.
Ambercrombie & Fitch is a clothing manufacturer infamous for selling thong underwear for six-year-olds. While I'm not positive this shirt advertises the company, there's no possible way I'm allowing my daughter to take that chance.
And this? Do you honestly think I'd allow my young teen to wear this in public? NOT!!
Who's at fault for this kind of trash being on the market? "No successful retailer would consider introducing an item like a padded bikini top for kindergarteners if they didn't think people would buy it," notes Mr. Granderson. "If they didn't think parents would buy it, which begs the question: What in the hell is wrong with us?...It's easy to blast companies for introducing the sexy wear, but our ire really should be directed at the parents who think low rise jeans for a second grader is cute. They are the ones who are spending the money to fuel this budding trend. They are the ones who are suppose to decide what's appropriate for their young children to wear, not executives looking to brew up controversy or turn a profit."
I couldn't agree more.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Her future husband
My oldest daughter and I were heading into the city a couple of weeks ago. We stopped in our local town for gas. Another vehicle was also pulled up and a teenager was pumping gas into his family's car, but I didn't pay him much attention.
I went inside to get my change. As I got back into the car I saw my fourteen-year-old daughter turned around in her seat, staring after the car that was driving away.
Before I could ask what she was looking at, she settled back in her seat and announced (to my considerable surprise), "I just saw my future husband."
Well, this took a little digesting on my part. I asked what it was about the young man that caught her attention.
She started ticking off points on her fingers. "He's Christian, because the car had Christian bumper stickers," she began. "He's about my age but not in school, so he must be homeschooled. He wasn't slouching, texting, and didn't have his jeans around his knees. He had blond curls, like the 'little people' in legends. He was wearing a beret, which I love but no one, especially teenage boys, would be caught dead in around here. And finally, he was wearing a 'Lord of the Rings: Return of the King' t-shirt."
After a long pause, she added “It’s kind of a pity I’ll never see him again."
Upon reflection, that's not a bad list of character traits for a fourteen-year-old to assemble about her future husband. Pity she'll never see him again.
I went inside to get my change. As I got back into the car I saw my fourteen-year-old daughter turned around in her seat, staring after the car that was driving away.
Before I could ask what she was looking at, she settled back in her seat and announced (to my considerable surprise), "I just saw my future husband."
Well, this took a little digesting on my part. I asked what it was about the young man that caught her attention.
She started ticking off points on her fingers. "He's Christian, because the car had Christian bumper stickers," she began. "He's about my age but not in school, so he must be homeschooled. He wasn't slouching, texting, and didn't have his jeans around his knees. He had blond curls, like the 'little people' in legends. He was wearing a beret, which I love but no one, especially teenage boys, would be caught dead in around here. And finally, he was wearing a 'Lord of the Rings: Return of the King' t-shirt."
After a long pause, she added “It’s kind of a pity I’ll never see him again."
Upon reflection, that's not a bad list of character traits for a fourteen-year-old to assemble about her future husband. Pity she'll never see him again.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The average teen sends 3000 texts a month
Here are some revolting bits of trivia.
Statistics show 80 percent of all 15 to 18-year-olds own a cell phone. And the rate of texting has sky rocketed 600 percent in three years. The average teen sends 3,000 texts a month.
This apparently fits all the definitions of an addition.
Neuroimaging studies show the same brain areas are stimulated with both texting and using heroin.
Our Older Daughter reports that at summer camp, even though electronic gizmos weren't permitted, some girls were smuggling in cell phones. She woke up at midnight one night and heard one of the girls stealthily texting. Midnight, for pete's sake. At summer camp.
Meanwhile, many teens have a working vocabulary of only 800 words. I believe there are chimps with a larger vocabulary than that.
These teens are our future, folks. Perhaps parents should introduce their children to a novel (literally) concept.
Statistics show 80 percent of all 15 to 18-year-olds own a cell phone. And the rate of texting has sky rocketed 600 percent in three years. The average teen sends 3,000 texts a month.
This apparently fits all the definitions of an addition.
Neuroimaging studies show the same brain areas are stimulated with both texting and using heroin.
Our Older Daughter reports that at summer camp, even though electronic gizmos weren't permitted, some girls were smuggling in cell phones. She woke up at midnight one night and heard one of the girls stealthily texting. Midnight, for pete's sake. At summer camp.
Meanwhile, many teens have a working vocabulary of only 800 words. I believe there are chimps with a larger vocabulary than that.
These teens are our future, folks. Perhaps parents should introduce their children to a novel (literally) concept.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Like, totally
A few days ago, I managed to catch a call on the Dr. Laura radio show from a twelve-year-old girl.
Now understand… I have a twelve-year-old girl as well, so my ears perk up whenever I hear a call from anyone my kid’s age.
This preteen poured out her woes to Dr. Laura in typical Kidspeak. This meant, like, that almost literally, like, every other word was “like.”
“And he, like, told me that, like, I had to clean my room. Then, like, I told him no…”
That kind of thing. Sadly, it’s almost always girls afflicted with this speech impediment. I call it a speech impediment because, once in a long while, I’ll hear Dr. Laura ask a similar-sounding adult caller to just speak clearly without all the “likes” and the caller CANNOT.
Of course this is nothing new. This kind of dialect has been around for decades, arguably generations. Since I’m out of the loop of whatever Kidspeak (or perhaps more accurately, Teenspeak) is currently popular in public schools, I’m miles behind on the specifics of today's lingo… but one strong underlying thread remains true through whatever Teenspeak variation is in vogue at the moment. Ready for a massive profundity?
It makes you sound like a shallow materialistic twit. I don't care if you're a straight-A student in every college prep course the school has to offer, you sound like a shallow materialistic twit.
Have you, like, ever heard a, like, female politician or news anchorwoman or a physician or any other career woman whose intelligence is presumed to be above room temperature, speak like this? Of course not. Assumedly they train themselves out of that dialect as they pursue the education leading to their career. Or, perhaps, it’s only the girls who avoid falling prey to Teenspeak who pursue such careers. The others, like, don’t.
It should be fairly obvious that the ability to communicate verbally is an important component in modern society. Obviously not everyone has a radio broadcast career in their future. But communication opportunities arise all the time, in one’s ordinary daily existence. How effective, like, would your attempts be to, like, spread the Gospel if, like, you talked like this?
My girls, since they haven’t grown up melded with a television set or rubbing shoulders with kids for whom Proper English is a second language, are actually able to communicate without sprinkling “like” after every word. They can even speak in complete sentences, a fact which alone distinguishes them among their age group.
“I try to avoid using ‘went’ and use ‘said’ instead,” noted Older Daughter as we discussed this issue recently. “I’ll try to say, ‘He said thus-and-such’ instead of ‘He went thus-and-such.’”
I don’t know a whole lot of fourteen-year-olds who are consciously trying to make their speech as clear and accurate as possible in an additional attempt to distinguish themselves from their peers. I believe this bodes well for her future.
Let’s face it, if you’re addressing two teens with excellent grade point averages and similar clothing styles, which will you perceive to be more intelligent after listening to them speak? Hint: it’s NOT going to be the Valley Girl. It’s going to be the girl whose diction is clear, precise, and shorn of unnecessary and trendy additives.
And how will this translate into employment opportunities when they're older? I don't believe there is an employer on the planet who is purposefully seeking to hire shallow materialistic twits.
So, like, yesterday evening I’m driving Youngest Daughter and her friend Miss Calamity home after a long day of play. The girls somehow got onto the subject of Teenspeak and were attempting to, like, imitate it. It was kind of funny, rather like hearing me attempt to imitate an Irish accent. (I stink at accents.)
“Mom,” said Younger Daughter, “tell Miss Calamity about that Valley Girl song.”
So I told about Frank Zappa and the unusual names he gave his daughter (“Moon Unit”) and son ("Dweezil"), and how when she was fourteen, Moon Unit came up with a song called “Valley Girl” which encapsulated the teenage “like, totally” lingo of the San Fernando Valley.
I believe one of the reasons the song was such a hit is because it merely underscored the truth… namely, that there are whole generations of girls (and to a lesser extent, boys) growing up sounding like shallow materialistic twits.
Gag me with a spoon.
Now understand… I have a twelve-year-old girl as well, so my ears perk up whenever I hear a call from anyone my kid’s age.
This preteen poured out her woes to Dr. Laura in typical Kidspeak. This meant, like, that almost literally, like, every other word was “like.”
“And he, like, told me that, like, I had to clean my room. Then, like, I told him no…”
That kind of thing. Sadly, it’s almost always girls afflicted with this speech impediment. I call it a speech impediment because, once in a long while, I’ll hear Dr. Laura ask a similar-sounding adult caller to just speak clearly without all the “likes” and the caller CANNOT.
Of course this is nothing new. This kind of dialect has been around for decades, arguably generations. Since I’m out of the loop of whatever Kidspeak (or perhaps more accurately, Teenspeak) is currently popular in public schools, I’m miles behind on the specifics of today's lingo… but one strong underlying thread remains true through whatever Teenspeak variation is in vogue at the moment. Ready for a massive profundity?
It makes you sound like a shallow materialistic twit. I don't care if you're a straight-A student in every college prep course the school has to offer, you sound like a shallow materialistic twit.
Have you, like, ever heard a, like, female politician or news anchorwoman or a physician or any other career woman whose intelligence is presumed to be above room temperature, speak like this? Of course not. Assumedly they train themselves out of that dialect as they pursue the education leading to their career. Or, perhaps, it’s only the girls who avoid falling prey to Teenspeak who pursue such careers. The others, like, don’t.
It should be fairly obvious that the ability to communicate verbally is an important component in modern society. Obviously not everyone has a radio broadcast career in their future. But communication opportunities arise all the time, in one’s ordinary daily existence. How effective, like, would your attempts be to, like, spread the Gospel if, like, you talked like this?
My girls, since they haven’t grown up melded with a television set or rubbing shoulders with kids for whom Proper English is a second language, are actually able to communicate without sprinkling “like” after every word. They can even speak in complete sentences, a fact which alone distinguishes them among their age group.
“I try to avoid using ‘went’ and use ‘said’ instead,” noted Older Daughter as we discussed this issue recently. “I’ll try to say, ‘He said thus-and-such’ instead of ‘He went thus-and-such.’”
I don’t know a whole lot of fourteen-year-olds who are consciously trying to make their speech as clear and accurate as possible in an additional attempt to distinguish themselves from their peers. I believe this bodes well for her future.
Let’s face it, if you’re addressing two teens with excellent grade point averages and similar clothing styles, which will you perceive to be more intelligent after listening to them speak? Hint: it’s NOT going to be the Valley Girl. It’s going to be the girl whose diction is clear, precise, and shorn of unnecessary and trendy additives.
And how will this translate into employment opportunities when they're older? I don't believe there is an employer on the planet who is purposefully seeking to hire shallow materialistic twits.
So, like, yesterday evening I’m driving Youngest Daughter and her friend Miss Calamity home after a long day of play. The girls somehow got onto the subject of Teenspeak and were attempting to, like, imitate it. It was kind of funny, rather like hearing me attempt to imitate an Irish accent. (I stink at accents.)
“Mom,” said Younger Daughter, “tell Miss Calamity about that Valley Girl song.”
So I told about Frank Zappa and the unusual names he gave his daughter (“Moon Unit”) and son ("Dweezil"), and how when she was fourteen, Moon Unit came up with a song called “Valley Girl” which encapsulated the teenage “like, totally” lingo of the San Fernando Valley.
I believe one of the reasons the song was such a hit is because it merely underscored the truth… namely, that there are whole generations of girls (and to a lesser extent, boys) growing up sounding like shallow materialistic twits.
Gag me with a spoon.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
A trip to the mall
I had errands in the city this past week on a day when I didn’t have to rush home for anything. In looking at a map to determine the most efficient route to complete my errands, I noticed I would be passing right by a large mall.
“Hey girls!” I announced to my kids. “Would you like to walk around a mall this afternoon?”
For the record, we haven’t set foot inside a mall in four or five years. Why should we? There’s nothing we would buy (most of our clothing and household goods are purchased second-hand) and the nearest mall is an hour and a half drive away. So this was viewed as a huge treat by my girls. Besides, I thought it would be interesting to stop in and see how malls have changed.
Well it was interesting, all right, but not because of the stores. In fact, it turned into a fascinating sociological and anthropological experience.
Remember this was early summer, on a Tuesday afternoon, so the mall was full of… teenagers.
Believe it or not, my girls don’t see a lot of teenagers outside our home town, at least not in large numbers. Urban teens are a whole different species than rural teens. There wasn’t a cowboy hat – and even very little denim – to be seen.
Now understand, I have a teen. And I knew there would be teens at the mall. A good part of the reason I wanted my kids to go to this mall was… well, to show my teen what’s out there. What she’s missing. What her publicly-schooled peers are like. What they’re wearing, how they’re acting, what makeup they have on, what the boys are like, that kind of thing.
And please note, the kids at this mall were not bad kids. Far from it. They were quiet and well-behaved, walking around in groups and not causing any trouble. They shopped. They ate. They hung out. No big deal.
But my kids were shocked nonetheless. To them, it was like watching a circus freak show. “Look at that one!” one or the other daughter would whisper, pointing discretely. “Oh my gosh, look at that one!” Spiked and/or unnaturally colored hair. Tattoos. Body piercings. Fashions. Language.
It reminded me of an incident that happened when my oldest was about eight (in fact, it was probably one of the last times we were in this particular mall). Coming out of a Barnes & Noble, my oldest tugged at my sleeve until I leaned down. “Mom!” she whispered, pointing. “Is THAT what you don’t want me looking like when I’m a teenager?”
I looked at a fourteen-year-old human Bratz doll walking by, complete with fishnet stockings and makeup that must have been applied with a trowel. I whispered back “Yes!”, pleased that she understood at so tender an age what is considered inappropriate in our family.
So now that my oldest is thirteen and taking an interest in her appearance, I am so so so so so so so happy we live in the country and are homeschooling, and that her peers – even the publicly-schooled ones – don’t look like Bratz dolls and hang out at the mall.
My girls understood what they’re missing, all right… and both expressed gratitude that they’re missing it.
Phew.
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