Microscopic marvels

I have terrible vision. Anything beyond about six inches from my face is blurry. I've worn glasses since I was ten years old and am completely dependent upon them.

But this extreme near-sightedness has one amazing side benefit: I have extraordinary close-up vision. Seriously, it's practically microscopic. I call it my super power.

For this reason, I always remove my glasses any time I'm doing close-up work. This is a long-winded explanation of why I wasn't wearing my glasses the other day when sorting blueberries.

The blueberry harvest is in full swing, and I'm picking about a quart of fruit every other day. Before bagging and freezing it, I sort through to remove any stems, leaves, blossom remains, or other debris.

Like this:

Anyway, I was sitting there minding my own business, sorting the blueberries, when something caught my near-sighted eyes. Take a closer look at the berry at the farthest left:

It had a collection of tiny (empty) insect egg cases adhering to the skin of the fruit.

They were extraordinarily tiny and perfect.

I popped the egg cases off the blueberry easily with a fingernail. You can see the scars on the fruit itself.

Just one of those microscopic marvels I was blessed to see, all because I have lousy vision.

Three is two, two is one

Last March, if you recall, I went for a long-overdue exam with an optometrist and got a new pair of glasses.

I am absolutely blind without my glasses, and wanted to make sure I had a pair in reserve ... y'know, just in case.

But everyone knows the Rule of Three: Three is two, two is one, one is none. With only one pair of backup lenses, I wanted to get another spare pair.

But holy cow, glasses are expensive – especially glasses ordered through an optometrist. I know I got hosed on the pair I ordered, but at least it meant I got an up-to-date prescription.

In fact, that was something I insisted upon – having my prescription written down. They were a little reluctant to provide it, because doubtless they knew exactly what I planned to do; namely, order glasses online. I took the prescription card home with me and carefully stored it in a place where it wouldn't get lost.

The one measurement every optometrist will always deliberately omit (when providing a client with their prescription) is the pupillary distance – the space between the pupils of the eyes. This allows the manufacturers to add the correct nose bridge to bring the proper focus for each eye. Presumably they omit this critical measurement to discourage ordering glasses online. Aha, but Older Daughter had already looked up online how to do this.

So Don found a form online, sat me down, and measured the distance between my pupils. He measured twice, just to be sure.

Then I logged onto Zenni Optical, selected some frames I liked, input my prescription ... and was kicked off. It turns out the particular set of frames I liked wouldn't accommodate a prescription as dramatically bad as mine.

Okay, onward. I found another online eyeglass provider called Eye Buy Direct and repeated the process. Select the frames, "try" them on the virtual models provided on the website, and input my prescription details. Bing, bang, boom – done. The cost (including shipping as well as a case) came to about $80, dramatically less expensive than the pair I got through the optometrist. But were they any good?

The glasses arrived literally within a week, and the answer is yes, they're great!

"Order another pair," Don urged, so I did. This time I got a discount for ordering a second pair, and my total came to about $50.

Now I have three spare pairs of prescription eyeglasses, which gives me great comfort. And kudos to Eye Buy Direct for an excellent product, cheap prices, and fast turn-around.

Spares are good!

Back in September of last year, I put up a post on the subject of eyeglasses, and how my eight-year-old glasses were finally too scratched to be worn. I've been wearing my backup pair ever since.

But you, dear readers, gently scolded me for going eight years without a checkup. I knew you all were right, so last month I took myself to the optometrist and had a thorough checkup (including for glaucoma).

At that time I also sprang for a new pair of lenses. Hmmm, decisions decisions....

Interestingly, after looking over every frame as well as other frames the technician pulled out of drawers for my perusal, I went with literally the first pair I picked up.

Also, I made sure to get my prescription. Older Daughter knows how to measure pupillary distance, so next time she visits, I'll enlist her aid and order a couple extra (and cheaper) pairs online. What are your suggestions for the best online sources for prescription eyeglasses?

Meanwhile, spares are good. I'm glad to have an extra pair of glasses. I can't see without them.

Glasses and backups

I am blind as a bat without my eyeglasses.

Yeah yeah, I know bats aren't blind (cut me some slack). The point is, I cannot see clearly beyond about five inches from my face. I've worn glasses since I was ten years old.

In 2013, the last time I had an eye exam, I ordered two pairs of identical glasses from the optical department at Costco. Everyone knows "two is one, one is none," and an extra pair of glasses is critical. I've worn the first pair every day since then, with the spare pair safely tucked away.

Over the last eight years, my poor glasses have become more and more scratched. It's not the lenses themselves that are scratched; it's the supposedly scratch-resistant plastic coating meant to protect the lenses that's torn up. Ironic, right?

I have a high tolerance for dirty or scratched glasses – that comes from a lifetime of wearing lenses – but things were getting pretty dire. I walked around all day with a grey film over my eyes. At one point I brought the glasses back to the optical department at Costco and asked if something could be done. The answer was "no."

So I put up with scratched lenses. Essentially I decided I was going to tough it out until my glasses became unwearable.

Well, that day finally arrived. My glasses were just getting too bad.

Meanwhile Don had watched some YouTube videos on how to improved scratched plastic coatings on eyeglasses. Accordingly, he ordered some polishing compound and a soft Dremel tip in hopes that he could buff the scratches off my glasses and save the older pair.

Armed with these tools, Don tried to buff off the plastic coating from the lenses.

It didn't work. All it did was leave such an opaque smear right on the focal point of the lens that the glasses are now unusable. For the moment.

Further research revealed what's needed is a tiny specialized plastic scraper to remove the plastic coating. The scraper itself, of course, must be plastic as well so it won't scratch the glass lens underneath. For the moment, I've tucked the damaged eyeglasses aside until such time as we obtain the scraper.

Meanwhile I experienced a tremendous joy: new eyeglasses. I removed the spare pair from the case where they'd resided for eight years. I put them on, staggered back and said "Whoa!" That's because I was seeing clearly for the first time in years.

In the next couple months, I'll trot myself into an optometrist's and get a more up-to-date prescription (though I'm confident my eyesight hasn't changed), then order a couple extra pairs of eyeglasses online from Zenni or a similar discount supplier.

Remember: "Two is one, one is none" – especially with something as absolutely vital as eyeglasses.

Two is one, one is none

I wear glasses. I've worn them since I was ten years old. Without them, I am comically blind.

I wore contacts for many years, but as I've gotten older I got tired of fussing with them, so I reverted to wearing glasses exclusively.

About three years ago, I decided it was time to get my eyes checked (first time in well over ten years) as well as select some new frames at Costco. I was pleased to find my eyes hadn't gotten any worse since my last exam. Despite the expense, I decided to order three identical pairs of glasses.

Why three? Because we're preppers. Two is one, one is none. I put the two spare pairs aside and wore the third pair exclusively.

A few weeks ago, while working outside, I ran face-first into a head-high board I didn't see because my visor blocked it. Thankfully the visor squished down and protected my glasses, although it did splay them out a bit.

In fact, it splayed them enough that they were subsequently very loose on my face and kept sliding down or even falling off if I turned my head too fast. I decided next time I was in Costco I would see if they could be adjusted.

Then last night, in a moment of idleness, I thought perhaps I could tweak them back myself. I gently bent the frame -- and it snapped cleanly in half. "Aaack!" I shrieked.

Groping blindly upstairs to our bedroom, I fetched one of the spare pairs of glasses, and could see once again.

I'll take my broken pair back to Costco and see if they can be repaired, but I doubt it. Nor do I have hope they can simply slip my lenses into a new frame, since I'm sure the frames I got are now passé.

But I don't like being down to merely one spare pair of glasses ("one is none"), not for something as absolutely vital as my sight.

If, like me, you are utterly dependent on eyeglasses, keep this rule in mind: Two is one, one is none.