It's "Very Important"

Don received this spam email which made us both laugh:

Hello,

 

My apologies for this unsolicited approach. I would like to discuss something very important regarding your last name, is it possible we can discuss it here?

 

Your swift response will be appreciated

 

Kind Regards

Eddy

Wow! Eddy wants to discuss something very important regarding the highly uncommon surname "Lewis." What could it be? (insert "thinking cap" emoji)

SPAM spam spam spam SPAM spam spam spam

Every once in a while, I check the spam comments on this blog because sometimes a legitimate comment gets caught up in the filter.

I was rewarded with a doozie. Feast your eyes on this, all spelling/punctuation in the original and the most amusing parts highlighted:

CONTACT Mr Dennis Matrio call (+2348128462808 or WhatsApp him through this number +35795543364 or Email: dennismatrio@gmail.com Hello everyone my name is sandy kalipo i am from USA am here to give a testimony on how I joined the illuminati brotherhood, I was trying to join this organization for so many years now,I was conned by fake agent in south Africa and Nigeria,I was down,I could not feed my self and my family anymore and I tried to make money by all miss but all invail, I was afraid to contact any illuminati agent because they have eat my money,One day I came across a post of someone giving a testimony, thanking a man called Dennis Matrio of being helping him to join the illuminati brotherhood, then I look at the man email and the phone number that was written there, it was a nigeria number I was afraid to contact him because a nigerian agent eat my $2000 and go away with the money then I was very tired, confused and I decided to contact the person that was given the testimony and i called him and I communicated with him on phone calls before he started telling me his own story about when he wanted to join, he told me everything to do, then I made up my mind and call the agent called Dennis Matrio and he told me everything to do, and I was initiated, surprisingly I was given my benefit of being a new member of the great illuminati brotherhood I was so happy, For those of you trying to join this organization this is your opportunity for you to join CONTACT MR Dennis Matrio call ( +2348128462808 or WhatsApp him +35795543364 or email: dennismatrio@gmail.com

No red flags here! I'm certain this isn't from a scam artist in Nigeria. No siree.

It reminded me of this clip:

Anyone want a free grand piano?

I've seen all kinds of spam emails, but this was a new one. This arrived on Dec. 16 with the subject line of "Grand Piano" and a message as follows: 

Hello,

I am reaching out once more about my late husband Yamaha piano, which i am offering to anyone who would genuinely cherish it. If you or someone you know would be interested in receiving this instrument as a gift, please feel free to get in touch.

Warm regards,
Michelle

If anyone is interested in a free grand piano, let me know and I'll put you in touch with "Michelle." I'm sure her "late husband" would be grateful. I'm guessing all you'll need to do is pay shipping from Nigeria.

/sarc/

Bwahahaha. NO

I received an email from a long-time reader named Mike who occasionally communicates with me. He wrote:

"Sorry to bother, do you’ve a free moment over email? I'm unable to speak over the phone due to a serious throat pain caused by laryngitis. Hope this finds you well. - Mike"

I replied, "Sure, what's up?"

His prompt answer: "Thanks for the response, I need to get an (APPLE GIFT CARD) for my friend's daughter who is diagnosed with stage 4 mesothelioma cancer, it's her birthday but I can't do this now because I'm currently out of town, And I tried purchasing it online but unfortunately, I got no luck on that, wondering if you could help me purchase the gift card at any nearest store around you or purchase it online? I'll reimburse you, let me know if you can handle this. Await your earliest response. - Mike"

Bwahahahahahahahaha.

No.

Mushroom retreat

I got a spam email the other day that made me laugh out loud. It started with a generic greeting – so generic, in fact, that any name was omitted before the comma. "Hey __​​, hope your week is going great so far! Following up on this story idea I thought you might be interested in."

What this person was "following up on" was ... a mushroom retreat. "How a New Year, New You is really possible with a magic mushroom retreat!"

Don chuckled when I read this out loud to him. "When reality just isn't good enough," he remarked.

So here, ladies and gentlemen, are all the juicy details of the "New Me" that could be possible through the judicious application of psychedelic drugs.

________________________________

The New Year has arrived and along with it comes the resolutions for transformation in 2024. There could very well be no greater way to clear out the old and make space for the new than with a guided psilocybin retreat. Some success stories for those embarking on these journeys include executives and professionals who were unhappy with their careers or felt lost and anxious.

Rob G____ and Gary L____ are the founders of [company name redacted], the alternative wellness company creating luxury guided magic mushroom retreats in the mountains outside of Vancouver. They’ve hosted everyone from entrepreneurs and CEOs to athletes, performers, couples, and small groups invested in the highest level of personal development and self-discovery.

The pair have a combined 60+ years of education in spiritual and metaphysical training, executive level mindset coaching, energetic healing modalities, Alexander Technique lessons, and provide online courses/support calls preparing for and integrating the psychedelic retreat.The [company name redacted] guides guests through an extraordinary personalized experience that often results in accelerating attendees' success and their intentions to create a conscious impact on the world. Their team is passionate about the healing powers of psilocybin as a sacred plant medicine.

Rob and Gary believe that when psychedelics are facilitated in a professional manner, it can help us with our mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness. They can give incredible insight on:

• How a new you is possible in the new year with these transformational retreats

• Guided magic mushroom use as the ultimate reset from years of built-up stress

• Clearing out the old energy holding us back from reaching a new level in 2024

• Psilocybin helping amplify relationships in our personal and professional lives

• Utilizing psychedelics with integrity, respect, and the intention for self-growth

• Importance of the inner work involved to prepare before and after the journey

Featured in Forbes, Bloomberg, Condé Nast Traveler, Marie Claire, FOX Business, and TZR, Rob & Gary are having a profound effect on the individuals enrolling in their retreats.

________________________________

Well, I guess there's a market for everything.

Just not my cup of tea.

Bwahaha – sure, Jeff

Spam emails can be so funny! Consider one I got this morning from "Jeff White," formatted exactly as received:

DEAREST ONE

Am MR. White  of the Claims Department with a bank here in London, United Kingdom. I wish to notify you that you are clear to

claim the total sum of Twenty Five Million Five Hundred thousand British pounds in the codicil and last testament of a deceased

customer (Name now withheld for security reasons). Kindly Contact me for more details on E-mail: [redacted]@citromail.hu

I look forward to your response, treat as most confidential
sincerely

>>Mr. White

Bwahahaha. I'm certain every banker in the U.K. addresses random strangers as "Dearest one."

Sure, Jeff. I believe every word. (/sarc/)

UPDATE: Reader Rozy Lass sent this video. I laughed so hard I cried.

 

Dear esteemed customer

Sheesh, do people actually fall for this? I found this in my inbox this morning. What a shame "Mr. Raymond Lee" will "face jail terms" if I don't return the affidavit.

_______________________

FIRST CITY MONUMENT BANK PLC
Plot 1611 Oyin, Jolayemi Street Victoria Island, Lagos,Nigeria
Tel: (+234) 807 83 5470
Date: 13Th May,2021
Email:bankingfcmbonline4@gmail.com

Dear Esteemed Customer:

Sir/Madam,

We had entered the second quarter of the fiscal year 2021 and Senate Ad Hoc Committee of the Federal Republic of Nigeria had mandated our bank to issue a "Disclaimer FORM"  to you thereby terminate your ON-LINE Payments valued US$3,800,000: 00  already scheduled in your Favour as below hence your inability to pay off the outstanding balance fee of US$299 only meant to secure Affidavit of Oath on your behalf which will nullify the claim made on the said fund by one  (Mr. Raymond Lee)  from Orleans, USA. as demanded by law.

Your On-line  account details already set up in your favor:

Welcome! To - FCMBank Online Plc Secure Account Page
Account Name            Account Type
Activate(not yet)               Online Banking Account
Created Opened          Account Balance
2021-05-06              $3,800,000.00 USD
Account Number          FCMB Sort Code
101016985567
               1022-03-7213
Country                 Name Of Bank
International Money Transfer            Input
               Swift Code PNBPUS33 Account Number 1010169857507

AMOUNT TRANSFERRING IN PROGRESS $3,800 000.00 USD
Transfer Current Percent% :  91%Done/Loading....
FIRST COMMONWEALTH FEDERAL CREDIT UNION Message: Transfer!!! Placed On
Hold for Administrative Processing

Out of 100% = 91% Done... = 9% Remaining...
Amount Transferring: $3, 800,000,00USD
Account ID: [ Donation ] A/c Activated ...
[91% Done] Loading... [9% Remaining] Inprogress...

Website:.  ::FCMB Internet Banking - Personal

.::FCMB Internet Banking - PersonalBy Super User


To this effect, our bank is attaching as below, "Disclaimer FORM" for you to fill and send back within the next 24 hrs. if you are not willing to have the said funds transferred to you.   Recall that your payment valued   US$3,800,000 was gazette via On-line in your favor before one Mr. Raymond Lee presented a "POWER OF ATTORNEY" document indicating that you were sick and admitted in a hospital where you have passed on(Dead) of the prevailing COVID-19 Pandemic and as such had made him your NEXT-OF-KIN to claim/have the said funds transferred into his own bank account in USA.

Note:  The claimer (Mr. Raymond Lee) of the said fund will face jail terms if you secure the required Affidavit of Oath which will prove you as the rightful owner of the said funds and that you are still alive indeed.

Kindly Fill the Disclaimer FORM attached therein.


THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.


Yours sincerely,

Mr. Adams Nuhu
FCMB Bank PLC,
Chief Executive Director of Foreign Payment.

What kind of mushrooms are you canning?

Almost ten years ago, I posted a piece on canning mushrooms.

Just the other day, I got a comment from someone named "Zohaib malik" on that post as follows: "We request you to definitely the actual web page where one can study along with fascinating home elevators comparable subjects. [Buy psychedelics online]"

(The bracketed part, obviously, was a hotlink to where readers could buy psychedelics online.)

"Home elevators"? "To definitely the actual web page"? I don't know what kind of mushrooms Mr. Malik was canning to create such a word salad, but I recommend he lay off of them right away.

Urgent! (from the Department of Homeland Security)

Here's an email I got from the (cough) Department of Homeland Security, copied exactly as received:

_______________________________________

Good day,This is the Department of Homeland S e c u r i t y we have vital mission,to secure the nation from the many threats we face as well as internet Fraud.Thisrequires the dedication of more than 230,000 employees in jobs that
range from aviation and border security to emergency response,from cyber security analyst to chemical facility inspector.Our dutiesare wide-ranging,but our goal is clear - keeping America safe.
We are happy to inform you that your f u n d s valued atUS$10,700,000.00(Ten million Seven Hundred Thousand United StatesDollars) have been approved by the Treasury Department of the United
States.Kindly get back to us for further directives.Reconfirm to us this information below,FULL NAME,ADDRESS,CELL PHONE #,OCCUPATION
Note:Do not reply to any e-mail that comes from the FBI Director James Comey Jr, Andrew G. McCabe,also the claimed new FBI DIRECTOR Christopher A. Wray,does not e-mail people,they will come straight to
your door step to pass any vital information they have for you.Do not fall a victim of scam again,a word is enough for the wise. Thank you and have a good day.
Signed
Mrs. Elaine Duke
Director,United States Secret Service
U.S. Department of Homeland
Security Washington, DC 20528,USA

_______________________________________

Well, I believe it. Don't you?

Great Mother can cure you!

Here's your chuckle du jour in the form of a spam email I just received:

"Great Mother is Real... I am Aisha Kun and i want to testify about Great Mother how she cured me of hiv aids. I was diagnosed of this disease some time ago and i was worried. when i was searching the internet looking for a cure, i came across some testimonies of Great Mother how she has helped a lot of people and i decided to contact her on her info and explained to her.

She laughed and told me that she will help me and i was surprised. She sent me the cure and it was a spiritual holy oil and water which is more than a medicine. She directed me on how to take it and i did. I took the cure for 3 weeks and i went to the doctor for check up and to my greatest surprise the disease was no longer in my system.

I am so glad and i want to thank Great Mother for helping me. Contact her now on her website ourgreatmother1.com and her email is Greatmotherofsolutiontemple1@[redacted].com you can also reach her on her whatsapp number +[redacted]. If you have any disease, she can help you. Contact her now"

So there you go. Forget the rest, just go to Great Mother.

Bwahahaha!

I received an email from "Bria" as follows:

Hello!

I am a hacker who has access to your operating system.
I also have full access to your account.

I've been watching you for a few months now.
The fact is that you were infected with malware through an adult site that you visited.

If you are not familiar with this, I will explain.
Trojan Virus gives me full access and control over a computer or other device.
This means that I can see everything on your screen, turn on the camera and microphone, but you do not know about it.

I also have access to all your contacts and all your correspondence.

Why your antivirus did not detect malware?
Answer: My malware uses the driver, I update its signatures every 4 hours so that your antivirus is silent.

I made a video showing how you satisfy yourself in the left half of the screen, and in the right half you see the video that you watched.
With one click of the mouse, I can send this video to all your emails and contacts on social networks.
I can also post access to all your e-mail correspondence and messengers that you use.

If you want to prevent this, transfer the amount of $500 to my bitcoin address (if you do not know how to do this, write to Google: "Buy Bitcoin").

My bitcoin address (BTC Wallet) is: [deleted]

After receiving the payment, I will delete the video and you will never hear me again.
I give you 50 hours (more than 2 days) to pay.
I have a notice reading this letter, and the timer will work when you see this letter.

Filing a complaint somewhere does not make sense because this email cannot be tracked like my bitcoin address.
I do not make any mistakes.

If I find that you have shared this message with someone else, the video will be immediately distributed.

Best regards!

So you "infected me" with a malware through an "adult site" that I visited?

Oh, and you "do not make any mistakes"?

Bwahahaha. Wrong on both counts. Try harder, sweetie.

Am I dead or alive?

Here's a new twist on an old scam:
__________________________

To whom it may concern,

I know this letter may come to you as a surprise one but, i want you to read carefully. This day, one Mrs. Helena Smith came to my office to let us know that you are DEAD as a result of stage 4 Cancer, and before your death, you instructed her to come for the claim of your funds that you abandoned with the delivery agent at the airport and later was deposited with the issuing Barclays Bank here in United Kingdom . Here comes the big question....

(i) Did you authorize Mrs. Helena Smith to come for your claim?
(ii) Are you truly Dead OR Alive?
If (NO) you are hereby advice as a matter of urgency to reconfirm the details of this message within 24hours, hence your funds shall be wired into her account without any more delay.
Lastly, you are advice to reconfirm the details of this message and get back immediately with these information's below..

1.Full name:......................... ....
2.Direct telephone number:....................
3.Address:.................... ..........
4.Your personal identification to enable us confirm you are not dead.

This information's above must be provided for reconfirmation to enable us process your payment to you, hence, your funds will be remited/wired into her account as already provided to this management.
We wait for your urgent response today. You need to act very fast, because if this bank wait for your urgent reply within three working days and did not received any message from you, you will be consider dead, and your funds will be transfer to Mrs. Helena Smith.

Here is an account provided by Mrs. Helena Smith to this bank, are you also the one who ask her to provide this bank account to us?

Washington Mutual Bank
2075 S. Victoria Ave
Ventura, CA 93003
800 788-7000
Acct. name: Mrs. Natasha Jombosco.
Type: Checking
ABA # 322271627
Acct # 1951204345

This message demand urgent attention, the bank is waiting to hear from you, do call this below direct number:

Best Regard's,
Bank Manager: Mr. John Willshire
Address: 1 Churchill Pl, Canary Wharf, London E14 5HP, UK.
Phone: +44 345 734 5344

__________________________

Bwahahaha gasp chortle guffaw.....

'Please don't hang up'

The phone rang yesterday.

"Hello. Please don't hang up," said a robotic voice. "We need to verify your business account on Google..."

**CLICK**

Ring ring ring.

"Hello. Please don't hang up. We are your local Google specialist. We need to verify your business account on Google. We have tried to reach you a number of times..."

**CLICK**

Ring ring ring.

"Hello. Please don't hang up. How dare you hang up on us? We are Google. We own you..."

**CLICK**

Ring ring ring.

"Hello. Please don't hang up. We have tried to verify your Google business account numerous times. What do you mean, you don't have a Google business account? What are you, baby boomers? Don’t you understand, we now own you? Bwahahaha. Are your lights flickering? Oh wait, is that your other line ringing? What, they canceled your car insurance? NOW do you want to give us the information we want to know?"

And so on and so forth.

Yeah, I know these are spam calls. But couldn’t you see the above sequence actually taking place?

Garbled spam

As many of you know, I love to poke fun at the spam comments I get on this blog. I've mocked the use of the term "fastidious" (WHY is that term so popular among spammers?), so-called Apple support, offers for "magics," tearful pleas from international vacationers, and other garbled messages.

I generally get a good chuckle out of these. Here are some recent samples (in which "rattling" seems to be an up-and-coming favorite term):

• I was examining some of your content on this internet site and I conceive this web site is rattling instructive! Retain posting.

• Sweet internet site, super design, rattling clean and utilise pleasant.

• Hi to every body, it's my first visit of this web site; this webpage carries awesome and genuinely fine material in support of visitors.

• I do consider all the ideas you've introduced to your post. They are very convincing and can definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are too quick for newbies. May just you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.

• Hi there colleagues, its fantastic paragraph on the topic of educationand entirely explained, keep it up all the time.

• Ahaa, its nice conversation concerning this piece of writing at this place at this weblog, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

• Hi friends, how is all, and what you desire to say regarding this paragraph, in my view its really awesome in favor of me.

• Good way of explaining, and pleasant post to take data on the topic of my presentation subject matter, which i am going to deliver in university.

• Hi, after rｅading this amazzіng post i am also cheerful to share my knowledge here with mɑtes.

• Hello Dear, are you genuinely visiting this web page on a regular basis, if so then you will definitely take fastidious knowledge.

• That is very type of you to say. Yes, it does.

• It's amazing to pay a visit this web site and reading the views of all mates on the topic of this paragraph, while I am also keen of getting familiarity.

• Fastidious answers in return of this issue with real arguments and telling the whole thing concerning that.

• whoah this weblog iss wonderful i like reading your articles. Stay up the great work! You understand, many people are hunting around for this information, you could aid them greatly.

• This article is actually a fastidious one it helps neew the web people, who are wishing in favor of blogging.

And my personal favorite (received over and over and OVER again....). I think an English translator pulled a fast one on this spammer:

• i love to scam people, and i love to make some fraud so please buy you free Viagra

Can't argue with that! "Stay up the great work," guys.

Apple "support"

I received an email from "Apple support" the other day informing me my "payment has been paid successfully." (Please note I do not own a single Apple product. Not one.)

The text of the email said, and I quote precisely:

Dear Client,

Your Purchase has been successfully

To check detail your purchase, check invoice in attachment file (pdf)

if you unauthorized this transactions, please cancel the order.

Detail Transaction:

- Item: 6000 Diamonds Mobile Legends Bang-Bang
- Price: $99.00
- Saturday, July 1 2018

It occurs to me if these scam artists are trying to pass themselves off as American corporations, they might have better success in their scams if they hired native English speakers to write their copy. Besides, July 1 is a Sunday, not a Saturday. And what in blazes is a "Bang Bang"? Is that an actual Apple product?

Anyway, it gave me a good chuckle before I hit the "delete" button (without "check detail my purchase" by opening the virus-laden pdf).

Are we fastidious yet?

Anyone who works with social media is familiar with spam posts. I get lots and lots of them here on the blog, and for some reason the most frequent adjective I see is “fastidious.”

As any native speaker of English knows, fastidious has a fairly precise meaning. The dictionary defines it as “excessively particular, critical or demanding; hard to please” (as in a fastidious eater), or something requiring excessive or painstaking care or delicacy.

And that, apparently, describes my blog. Some typical comments:

• Asking questions are actually fastidious thing if you are not understanding something totally, however this post offers nice understanding yet.
• Hi to every , since I am in fact keen of reading this blog’s post to bbe updated on a rrgular basis. It contyains fastidious data.
• Ahaa, its fastidious dialogue concerning this paragraph ere at this website, I have read aall that, so at this time me also commenting here.
• Hi, yeah this paragraph is genuinely fastidious and I have learned lot of things from it concerning blogging. thanks.
• Hi colleagues, fastidious paragraph and good arguments commented here, I am genuinely enjoying by these.
• This piece of writing is actually a fastidious one it helps new net people, who are wishing in favor of blogging.
• Hello Dear, are you genuinely visiting this web page daily, if so after that you will absolutely take fastidious knowledge.
• What’s up all, here every one is sharing such knowledge, therefore it’s fastidious to read this website, and I used to visit this weblog all the time.
• Thanks in favor of sharing such a fastidious idea, article is fastidious, thats why i have read it entirely.
• Hello every one, here every one is sharing such experience, thus it’s fastidious to read this weblog, and I used to pay a visit this website everyday.

All these comments makes me wonder: In teaching English out there to the wider world, who decided “fastidious” was such a useful word?

Feel the “magics”

Every so often I get a spam blog comment that's so funny I just have to share it. Here's a classic case in point. Read this through so you, too, can feel the "magics" and (among much else) "remove the black spot that keeps on taking your money away."

Enjoy!
______________________________________________

Hello friends..i never believe and tough that me and my ex husband could ever come back and live life happily again after been divorce for years..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when, i contacted this man called .Dr Okeyto. me and my husband was going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when my husband came back from work he tender to me a divorce letter and he packed all my properties away from is house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have him back because i love him and i really want him back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 5years.So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for his full name and his picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i have to gave him a try cos i have tried so many spell casters and there was no solution.so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that him is with a woman and that woman is the reason why he left me.The spell caster said he will help me with a power spell that will surely bring him back.but i never believe all this.he told me i will see a positive result within 24 hour..24 hour later after the spell has been cast,him called me himself and came to me apologizing and him toldme he will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos I never believe this will work out after trying so many spell casters and there was no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and i got pregnant again ..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kids..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever be thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem and they are happy and thankful to him..This Dr Okeyto is indeed the most powerful spell caster that i have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out.

1. Get your scam money back
2. Bring back lost lover, even if lost for a long time
3. Remove bad spells from homes, business & customer attraction etc.
4. Get promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career.
5. Read all your problems before you even mention them to him
6. Remove the black spot that keeps on taking your money away
7. Find out why you are not progressing in life and the solution
8. Eliminate in family fights
9. Ensure excellent school grades even for children with mental disabilities
10.Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart
11. heal barrenness in women and disturbing menstruation
12. Get you marriage to the lover of your choice
13. Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage
14. Ensure success in work and business
15. Mental illness & bewitched
16. Can?t sleep at night or walking at night
17. Recover stolen property and whereabouts of people that hurt you.
18. Bring supernatural luck into your life
19. Do you need help to win a lottery
20. Pregnancy spell to conceive baby
21.if you HAVE HIV AIDS, /CANCER CORONARY ARTERY HERPES RARE DISEASE or any kind of disease Dr.Okeyto CAN HELP YOU CURE IT OKAY.

you can reach him here. [email deleted] or contact him on his number [phone number deleted] /whats-app..he is willing n ever ready to help.okay. This is what i want to tell you all out there,That is thinking that all hope is lost ..Thanks to you all

Joyceken Williams May 1, 2016 at 10:42 AM

Um, what?

Well, at least it's not a request for funds by a Nigerian millionaire. The following spam post just came through, which I thought contained hilariously unreadable text:

Pretty component of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to claim that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing to your augment and even I success you get admission to constantly quickly. Here is my site - top graphic designers in seattle

Anyone else want to subscribe to my augment?

Writing this "with tears in my eyes"

Here's your chuckle du jour.

As I mentioned before, I get a lot of spam emails. Most of them I delete without reading, but this one caught my attention:

I'm writing this with tears in my eyes, my family and I came down here to Dubai - United Arab Emirates for a short vacation, unfortunately we were mugged at the park of the hotel where we stayed all cash,credit card and mobile phone were stolen from us but luckily we still have our passports with us.

We've been to the Embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all the bad news is our flight will be leaving in less than 8-hrs from now but we're having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let us leave until we settle the bills.

I'll need your help (LOAN) financially of $2,500 USD.I promise to make the refund once we get back home. Please let me know if i can count on you and i need you to keep checking your email because it's the only way i can reach you.
Sincerely,
Frederick N. Dyer, Ph.D.
8017 *** Ct.
Columbus GA 31909

It goes without saying that I don't know a Frederick N. Dyer, Ph.D., in Columbus, Georgia.

Sorry, Freddy ol' boy, you're on your own in Dubai. Cry all you want.

Blitzed with spam

I have two email addresses. I use one for personal reasons (contact with friends and family, etc.) and the other for business purposes. To my business email, I also get every comment that comes through the blog.

Lately my business email has been getting more and more and more spam.

Here's a sampling of the kind of junk I've gotten just today (certain emails arrive multiple time throughout the day as well) -- and as I post this, it's only 12:30 in the afternoon:

• Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals (two emails)
• Try a sub-prime credit card (two emails)
• Pastor kills high blood-pressure with one weird food
• Time to cut the phone cord and upgrade to VoIP
• Reverse mortgages
• VA loans -- $0 down -- pre-qualify today!
• More info on What *vydox Can make you do!
• Grow your audience with email! (two emails)
• Need natural-looking dentures? Find top dentists!
• Your February auto-insurance payment (a false attempt to get me to "click here") (four emails)

• Cloud hosting services
• Your credit score just changed -- please review! (by "clicking here") (three emails)
• Life is Short -- Have an Affair! (three emails)

• CEO Webinars (two emails)
• Save thousands on auto repairs (two emails)
• Let the government subsidize your solar installation!
• Reduce tax debt now!
• Information for medical-billing schools are right here!
• Business funding -- new business opportunities daily!
• Cut health care costs with cheap dental plans
• Revealed: #1 tip for perfect skin
• Gorgeous Russian women starved for love and affection! (yeah right)

• Private yacht rental quotes (three emails)
• Look 10 years younger in less than four weeks!
• Get DISH for only $19.95 per month!
• Arrive in style -- fly on private jets!
• Huge vehicle specials in your area!
• Discover great deals on walk-in tubs!
• Brazilian singles!

...and on and on and on. And these are the "G-rated" emails. I won't delve into the X-rated ones.

On top of this sludge, I get dozens, sometimes hundreds, of spam comments on my blog. Typical examples are as follows:

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or

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or

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or

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or

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...and on and on.

This onslaught seems to be getting worse. Last Tuesday, I had 149 spam emails and one legitimate comment.

I can't change my email address because it's tied to my website, so I guess I just delete 'em as I get 'em. I've even been known to accidentally delete legitimate emails in a fit of cleansing.

No point to this blog post, I'm just venting.

Postscript: Wanna hear the height of irony? Within two minutes (two minutes!) of posting this, I got my first spam post on this post. Grunt.