Yeah, Jenny

As most long-time readers know, I don't care for fashion. I have zero interest in clothes, and in fact suffer from severe clothing blindness.

But once upon a time, back in about 1986, I got a manicure. At the time, I was working as a legal secretary in a law firm in downtown Sacramento, and manicures were both common and (to some extent) expected among the upwardly mobile class, which I fancied myself to be back then. So I got a manicure.

I remember it cost $10, and I gave the nice manicurist a $5 tip. The results were okay, I guess, but I distinctly remember thinking, "Well, that was a waste of money." I've never gotten a manicure since.

Now, of course, manicures are pointless when living a homesteading lifestyle. Can you imagine milking a cow with fancy nails?

This little anecdote is by way of introducing a post I saw from a woman named Jenny who was apparently unable to grasp why any woman would not want a manicure. She wanted to know the reasons why.

Well, I must say poor Jenny got a huge response. She heard from loads of women in a wide variety of careers, chiming in with their reasons why they don't get manicures. Among them:

• "Because I work in the operating room and it's against policy, Jenny."

• "Because I'd rather spend my money traveling, Jenny."

• (From a logger) "Can't find a shade to match my chainsaw, Jenny."

• "I can't crochet at normal speed if my nails are done, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a heavy-duty mechanic, Jenny."

• (From a mother of baby twins) "Because I'm  tired, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a freaking surgeon, Jenny."

• (From an airline pilot) "Because I press buttons for a living, Jenny."

• (From a wildlife biologist) "Bears don't seem to care, Jenny."

• (From a musician) "Because then I wouldn't be able to press the strings on my cello, Jenny."

• "Because I’m an archaeologist, Jenny."

• "Because I conduct cancer research as a PhD candidate, Jenny, and wearing long nails gets in the way of the lab experiments."

• "Because I'm an EMS, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a paratrooper, Jenny."

• (From a construction worker) "Because power tools are more fun, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a cultural heritage conservator, Jenny."

• "Because I'm an electrician, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a landscaper, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a registered veterinary technician, Jenny."

• (From a doctor) "Too busy saving lives, Jenny."

• (From an MMA fighter) "Too busy hitting people, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a pediatric nurse and long nails are against policy. Might hurt the kids and they're not hygienic, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a goldsmith, Jenny."

• (From a pediatric dentist) "Because I take care of tiny teeth, Jenny."

• "Because I work in trauma surgery, Jenny."

• "Because I am a busy plumbing field technician, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a freediver, Jenny. Nails make putting on a wetsuit way too difficult."

• "Because I'm a mineral processing engineer, Jenny."

• "Because I'm an offshore mechanical tech, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a potter. People don't like it when their mugs leak, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a marine and environmental scientist, Jenny."

• (From a dentist) "Because I work in patients' mouths, Jenny."

• (From a chef) "I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate finding a press-on nail in your food, Jenny."

• "Because I ride and race dirt bikes, Jenny."

• "Because I'm an auto electrician, Jenny."

• "Because I just spent my money buying a house, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a geologist, Jenny."

• (From a doctor) "Because I'm not popping holes in my gloves, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a professional football player, Jenny."

• "Because I'm a hair dresser, Jenny."

• (From a mechanic) "Because I have a show car to wrench on, Jenny."

• (From a devout Muslim woman) "Because I'd rather spend my money on umrah, Jenny."

• (From a welder) "Because the arc will break my nails, Jenny."

• "Because I am a diving instructor, Jenny. Salt water and nails don't get along."

• (From a competitive skier) "Because I'm ratcheting down my bindings on the mountain, Jenny."

• (From a forester) "Because I'm busy planting trees for research, Jenny."

• "Because I'm in martial arts, Jenny."

• "Because I am a cosmetic formulator, Jenny."

And, perhaps the most blunt and truthful reason from a rock climber:

• "Because there's no point, and honestly think it's a waste of money, Jenny."

I didn't see "Because I milk cows, Jenny" in the list ... but it's as good a reason as any.

So there, Jenny.