I grew to adulthood in the mid-to-late 1980s, when female empowerment was all the rage and ascending in one's corporate career (it was always a corporate career) was all-important.
(Remember 1980s "power dressing"?)
Along with millions of other young women, I fell for that mindset after graduating from college in 1985. For many years I was caught up in the career-is-supreme corporate culture. I wore business clothes to work. I read Working Woman magazine.
I tossed that all away in 1993 when Don and I left urban California and moved first to Oregon, then later to Idaho. Suddenly that relentless pressure on career success as a woman was in a different galaxy, and we settled into the joys and tears of a home woodcraft business, parenthood, and homesteading.
But far, far away, that pressure for women to climb the corporate ladder continued unabated. Once in a while, a news or magazine article would pierce my contented little bubble of domesticity and profile a woman who "had it all," but most of the time the corporate culture was ... well, far far away.
So here we are, decades later and even deeper into rural living. The kids have grown up. Don retired and passed the woodcraft business to Older Daughter, and now he concentrates on projects to build up the homestead. I'm currently the breadwinner in the family, and I earn that bread by being what I like to call a "trained monkey."
I earn income freelance writing (magazines) and fiction writing (Harlequin's Love Inspired line), but it's the three-days-a-week online job in which I call myself a trained monkey. I do my job, and do it well, but I'm not called to make executive decisions or take heavy responsibility. And you know what? I've learned I like being a trained monkey.
A lot of this enjoyment has to do with my (remote) coworkers, who happen to be all men. These guys are smart, respectful, flexible, and easy to work with. That goes a long long way toward job satisfaction for us trained monkeys.
Anyway, the reason this issue came to mind is because of an article I stumbled across recently called "I Just Want a Dumb Job." [Language warning.] It profiled three women who lived and breathed the corporate or entrepreneurial environment, and burned out.
The intro to the article reads, "You got your dream job! Congratulations. Except – it sucks. The hours are terrible, the pay is bad, and your shiny title doesn't make up for the stress and drama. You secretly start to envy your friends who you used to make fun of – the corporate sellouts who clock in, clock out, and get paid. What does it feel like to realize that everything you thought you wanted in a career is actually a mirage? Here, three women talk about quitting the glamorous jobs they fought hard for and finding out that they're much happier on the other side.'"
It was that line "You secretly start to envy your friends who you used to make fun of" that caught my eye. In the mid-80s, mocking women who preferred domesticity over corporate climbing was very "in." I'm pleased to see those career expectations easing.
In the article, one woman noted, "As I've gotten older and had kids, my professional objectives have shifted: I want to earn as much as I can with the least amount of soul-sucking drama, so I can spend time with my family."
Another woman said, "I remember having drinks with a friend once and being like, 'I just want a dumb job. I just want to work for someone else, and not have to be on my toes all the time and not think so much.' ... Maybe I'm a corporate sellout, but it’s nice to have a healthy division between my job and my personal life. ... Now, when I'm not clocked in, I'm not thinking about work. And that's so freeing."
I understand that. I totally understand that.
While the intense corporate ladder climbing of the 1980s is a thing of the past (or is it?), women are still encouraged to have high-profile careers with the accompanying pressure. But here's the thing: A lot of women aren't cut out for that. I know I'm not. I like being a trained monkey.
Has anyone experienced this?
Wow. I feel as though I could've written this. I am in the middle of just such a career change. I've been in the aerospace industry for the last 23 years, with my last role in upper management for a multi million dollar manufacturing company. I had many direct reports, the "title" and more stress than the (albeit great) pay was worth. I have transitioned to a privately owned (though much much larger) aerospace company with an individual contributor role. My schedule is so much better, 3 days a week in the office means more time for my family, less stress and an overall improved quality of life. I still earn enough that we remain comfortable, even by California standards. I'm SO glad I made the change. -KinCa
ReplyDeleteI personally never fell for the it (I guess I always knew I was a misfit), but I recall when my children were preschoolers. Conversations with other moms in the play group began to revolve around the realization of how much it cost for both parents to work. They were starting to add up the costs of things like daycare, transportation, wardrobe, meals (both work lunches and more expensive convenience foods because there was no time to cook), and other business expenses. The conclusion was that the amount of income leftover for lifestyle improvements was either minimal or simply didn't exist. Most of their income was sucked up in the costs of maintaining their job. Quality of life for the entire family improved immensely once they became stay-at-home moms.
ReplyDeleteI too have college degrees but didn't like the requirements of many jobs that paid well, mainly the always being on call or overtime. When I've worked for a while when my kids were younger, I opted for retail. Pay wasn't great, but it had benefits, and when you left work you left work behind at the workplace and I could chose my availability. I see too many people work all the time, have money and all the newest toys but they aren't really happy. Sometimes a simple life is better, may not have the luxurious life, but being happy and content is better.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Not corporate related but had a great career in law enforcement that I loved. After retirement I became a PI thinking it would be great: work for myself, take only the cases I wanted, etc. Well, I didn’t like it all. Too much baloney dealing with clients, insurance companies, lawyers (imagine that!), trying to drum up business, maintain a website etc. And it turned out PI work was not nearly as interesting as trying to catch criminals. I still have the license but mostly drive a truck these days. I love it. I drive around all day, don’t have to talk to anyone, listen to audio books, and get good exercise. I make my deliveries and go home. Don’t have to think about it again until the next day.
ReplyDeleteI also retired from law enforcement after a 20 year career.
DeleteI had a part time office manager position for a storage unit drop in my lap just at the time I retired.
I also planned from day one of my LE career to have a ranch and a cow/calf operation for retirement.
I bought a lot of the equipment before I had the land.
In addition, I still keep my LEO license current and carry under LEOSA.
It feeds that side of me that still loves law enforcement.
I give free classes in self defense and have now started giving classes to young women for recognizing dating red flags.
It's a good life and I hope I'm still helping others to be safe.
I'm very grateful.
Trained monkey?? Might be nice— sometimes I get super nostalgic for the fast-food job I worked to put my husband through engineering school.
ReplyDeleteAlas, I am a “useless eater and brainless breeder,” aka a “housewife,” aka a “domestic engineer.”
I am always on my toes, and the lives of my husband, kids, and MIL, not to mention an entire menagerie of critters soon to include chickens and Vietnamese Runner Ducks, are in my hands.
I’m TIRED. I miss being a trained monkey.