I received an email a couple weeks ago from Orange Jeep Dad (who is in the process of relocating to Idaho, yeah!!) asking me to read a deep and heartfelt piece written by his fifteen year old daughter. I read it, spellbound, from beginning to end. Speaking as a writer, I noticed a few point-of-view errors... but those were nothing next to the emotion and raw feeling in the piece.
It's long but powerful. I urge everyone to go read it here. You might also leave some encouraging comments on his post, since I'm sure his daughter would love to get feedback.
Me... I think this kid has a future as a writer if she can wring this kind of emotion from her readers at such a young age.
Thanks for your kind words Patrice. I felt like her story was extraordinary but as her father, I'm always proud of what she accomplishes (and WAY biased). She wrote this as a project for her Young Women's group at church. She's aware of the first -third person conflict and is working to resolve it. I think she said it needs more volume/words to get published (as a "novella"?). Definitely not my realm but if I (or someone else out there) can help her get published, I think it would be a terrific way to tell her how wonderful she truly is. I feel like I'm babbling so I'll shut up now. Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteI liked it as well. For someone so young to have the imagination to write something like that is amazing. I have been reading a lot of on line TEOTWAWKI stories and hers is just as good. I did feel that the church stuff was getting in the way but having read why it was written answers that. VERY good job.
ReplyDeleteWell done!!! This was an amazing piece with so much passion, emotion, and imagination. She has a gift!
ReplyDeleteShe writes ok but there was WAY too much Mormanism stuff. Mormanism is a cult.
ReplyDeleteI saw this letter and refrained from mentioning the Mormon tilt to it. I still think is is a sensitive issue and to not overplay the church part of it. I have many issues on salvation and acceptance based on being good, doing the right things. this places way too much on us to measure up. Produce good works! Good works have a place but not to make us "right with God" WE DO GOOD WORKS BECAUSE HE DESERVES THEM FROM HIS FOLLOWERS. DOING THEM OUT OF LOVE WITH0UT EXPECTING A RETURN THAT'S THE POINT OF GRACE. PRETTY SCARY TO KNOW THAT YOU DON'T CONTROL YOUR DESTINY. GOD IS FAITHFUL TO FORGIVE, FORGET, AND MAKE US WHOLE. HE DOES THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL ON THE CROSS.
DeleteTHIS IS CHRISTIAN DOCTRINE AND NOT MORMON. MORMONS ARE A PERVERSION OF CHRISTIANITY..
Yeah man! I'm with ya! I HATE people who are always trying to do good! Who the hell do they think THEY are!?! In fact, I am so outraged by them that I am GOING TO TYPE AND SCREAM IN ALL CAPS TOO!!! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE REAL JESUS WOULD DO!!! RIGHT?!? CAN I GET A WITNESS! (Aaarrgh!)
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