A reader sent this.
UPDATE: Oops! I didn't realize (until readers pointed it out) that Texas, Kentucky, and Oregon are missing from the list. Sorry, have no idea what those mottos should be. Unless someone wants to send in their ideas...?
ANOTHER UPDATE: The reader who originally sent me this realized he'd forgotten Texas, so Texas's motto is now included below.
Alabama: Hell yes, we have electricity.
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos can't be wrong.
Arizona: But it's a dry heat.
Arkansas: Literacy ain't everything.
California: By 30, our women have more plastic than your Honda.
Colorado: If don't ski, don't bother!
Connecticut: Just like Massachusetts, only the Kennedys don't own it – yet.
Delaware: We really do like the chemicals in our water.
Florida: Ask us about our grandkids.
Georgia: We put the "fun" in fundamentalist extremism.
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami keeki tou. (Death to mainland scum, but leave your money).
Idaho: More than just potatoes....well okay, we're not, but the potatoes are sure real good.
Illinois: Please don't pronounce the “S.”
Indiana: two billion years tidal wave free.
Iowa: We do amazing things with corn.
Kansas: First of the rectangle states.
Louisiana: We're not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that's our tourism campaign.
Maine: We're really cold, but cheap lobster.
Maryland: If you can dream it, we can tax it.
Massachusetts: Our taxes are lower than Sweden's (for most tax brackets).
Michigan: First line of defense from the Canadians.
Minnesota: 10.000 lakes...and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 billion mosquitoes.
Mississippi: Come and feel better about your own state.
Missouri: Your federal flood relief dollars at work.
Montana: Land of the big sky, the Unabomber, right-wing crazies, and not much else.
Nebraska: Come ask about our state motto contest.
Nevada: Hookers and poker!
New Hampshire: Go away and leave us alone!
New Jersey: You want a ##$%##* motto? I got yer ##@%&* motto right here!
New Mexico: Lizards make excellent pets.
New York: You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney.
North Carolina: Tobacco is a vegetable.
North Dakota: We really are one of the 50 states!
Ohio: At least we're not Michigan!
Oklahoma: Like the play, only no singing.
Pennsylvania: Cook with coal.
Rhode Island: We're not really an island.
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We didn't actually surrender!
South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.
Tenessee: The educashun state.
Texas: "Se habla Ingles"
Utah: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus.
Virginia: Who says government stiffs and slack jawed yokels can't mix?
Washington: Help! We're being overrun by nerds and slackers!
Washington D.C.: Wanna be mayor?
West Virginia: One big happy family – really!
Wisconsin: Cut the cheese!
Wyoming: Where men are men...and sheep are scared.