Self-Sufficiency Series

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Predicting divorce

Here's an interesting article. There is a marriage researcher named John Gottman who has determined a method to determine which couples will stay married. By listening to couples argue for just five minutes, he can predict with 91% accuracy who will stay married and who will divorce

He has pinpointed six signs that a couple will most likely suffer a future break-up. Having so far been happily married for 21 years, I can find no fault with his analysis.

Sign One -- A harsh startup

Sign Two -- The four horsemen of the apocalypse
- Criticism
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling

Sign Three -- Flooding

Sign Four -- Body language

Sign Five -- Failed repair attempts

Sign Six -- Bad memories

Click here to read the full article.

4 comments:

  1. I've read some of his books and they are great!
    KatieJ
    Germany

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  2. Which reminds me...

    A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting in the dark at the kitchen table. Though he rarely drank, he was holding a glass of whiskey. She turned on the light and saw him try to wipe away some tears before she could see.

    "What's the matter? Why are you down here at this time of night? Why are you crying"

    "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.

    "Yes."

    "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making out?"

    "Yes, I remember."

    "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I'll see to it you spend twenty years in jail?'"

    "Yes."

    He wiped another tear from his cheek and reached for the bottle, "I would have gotten out today."

    Jeff - Tucson

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  3. We have two copies of his 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work. It is a wonderful book. It's totally different from most "self-help" books out there.

    If you want to improve your marriage, fine-tune it, or you just want to explore some interesting ideas with your spouse, this is a great book. It really makes you think deeply about your family.

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  4. Jeff - THAT IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!
    KatieJ
    Germany

    ReplyDelete