This is a brief excerpt from The Simplicity Primer concerning a pet peeve of mine, the elevation of feelings to a cult-like status in our society.
It’s become popular to think that how an individual feels is far more important than what he actually does. Hurting someone’s feelings these days is tantamount to a crime of the highest degree.
The result of this god-like elevation of feelings is that we tiptoe around, held hostage by the fragile egos of a bunch of whiners. Feelings come complete with a whole retinue of entitlements and levels of selfishness that must be catered to.
It doesn’t matter who gets hurt or what gets damaged in this quest to balm somebody’s feelings. If you feel like having an affair, too bad for your spouse or kids. If you feel like drinking too much, tough luck for your family. If you feel like buying a new car, who cares if you’re already deeply in debt?
The most amazing part of the “feeling” revolution is how one-way it is. My feelings are the only ones that count. Your feelings aren’t important, and if you don’t agree then you’re “intolerant.” Wives do this to husbands all the time. Certain political activists are fond of this technique. Schools don’t dare let a child’s feelings get hurt so “everyone” wins a blue ribbon, or gets a trophy, or gets advanced to the next grade.
The trouble with this god-like elevation of feelings is that any attempt to have standards (honesty, cleanliness, decent language, etc.) is by definition intolerant and someone’s feelings get hurt. We can’t have that.
Rise above your feelings. Your feelings might still get hurt, but that’s reality.