Thursday, August 5, 2010

The obituary


This appeared on the Dr. Laura website. I hope to God no one ever feels compelled to write this about me.

This obituary appeared in Saturday's paper. When I started reading it I kept expecting a punch line or a "just kidding," and there wasn't one. Just the sound of a lot of pain, and a life that will not "start living." I suppose they hoped the obituary would provide some sort of satisfaction, but I doubt it did. -- George

Born in New Mexico. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, her son, and daughter.

She is survived by her daughters and son, grandchildren & great-grandchildren. I apologize if I missed anyone.

She had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember her and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will only miss what we never had: a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.


  1. Holy Cow Andy! How sad is that.

  2. Very sad indeed. Unfortunately I can relate, having a father that is an avowed athiest, angry most of the time and couldn't give a rip about his place as head of this family. I mean, really, what do you write in an obituary about people like that? The nicest thing I can think of would be that since he is all about worshipping Mother Earth I could say that he loved the trees and flowers in his yard more than all of his children and grandchildren combined.

  3. Jeeperz. Have you ever read anything that oozes more bitterness of spirit?

    I'd venture to question whether this is a family that knows Christ, and it would seem a particularly valid question about the writer of the obit.

    I can't think of a practicing (as opposed to claims-to-be) Christian I've known with such a self-pitying and unforgiving spirit, regardless of what they've been through in life.

    God forbid any of us should ever have such words written or spoken about us, and I hope this writer and their family come to know the healing power of forgiveness.

    A. McSp

  4. Honor thy father and thy mother. Seems that's one commandment that the obit writer never learned nor even read.

    Why write such a blatant accusation of not only his mother but also of himself? I think most newspapers require payment for printing obits these days. So, if that is true for this obit, the son felt the need to belittle his dead mother enough to pay for it. What a guy! I wonder if he ever paid for flowers for his mom when she was alive? That act alone might have softened her up a little.

    Anonymous Twit
    somewhere different

  5. That obituary says far more about the mean spirit of the writer than it does about the deceased.

  6. You can forgive, but you never forget. This could have been written about my mother.

  7. Sounds like my mother, too. But I didn't trash her in public in an obituary.

    Real healing starts with forgiveness.

    I don't miss her, but I mourn for her sad, bitter life, and vow not to follow her example.

  8. Children are instructed to honor their father and mother, true. But Colossians 3:21 also says, "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." I wonder who broke that covenant between parent and child first? Until you've seen the cruel, unnatural acts of a parent who 'spent a lifetime tearing apart [her family]', you shouldn't judge those who survive such a woman. God may heal their hearts one day, but the scars will no doubt continue to remind them of what they went through.

  9. Wow!Sounds like something I would have written for my dad. As a Christian, I felt sorry for him and felt like the obituary reads, but I wouldn't put that in a newspaper for all to read. I don't know where he'll spend eternity, but it was sad how selfish and bitter he was most of the time towards my mom and his eight children. It's very sad when children stay bitter even after the person is gone. Sometimes healing does begin after the person is gone from earth. Everyone needs Jesus and the peace, comfort and faith that comes with knowing Him;that's a personal thing for each person. Everyone heals differently. I'm just happy that I presently have a wonderful life with an awesome husband and Jesus Christ is the center of our life.