Country Living Series

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Clueless in Seattle

I have a new column posted at called Clueless in Seattle.  Enjoy!

UPDATE: Before anyone gets too annoyed at my friend Janet, please keep in mind that "Janet" doesn't actually exist.  She is an amalgamation of numerous people I know.  I've received all these comments at one time or another from different people and decided to roll them all together into one mythical friend.  So don't pummel Janet too hard!


  1. I'm torn between laughing myself silly and wanting to throw a big lid over Seattle to contain and neutralize the wackaziod mindset that emanates from it.

    If only it were as simple as blowing off their arrogance and condescension, but alas, the real-world, practical consequences can be dreadfully costly and destructive.

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch....
    lemme see them kertuns ya bilt, gerl!

    A. McSp

  2. Great column. Reminds me of a "green" quiz I took online a few weeks ago. Seems I am a total failure at living "green". All because of having a couple of cars and a truck. The cars are for getting to town and to public transportation out here in the country. The truck is for work and farm stuff. I guess I will worry about it while I hang the clothes on the line to dry, work in my organic garden, feed the livestock being raised for our dinner tables and wash my dishes by hand too.

  3. I have to ask, does this "friend" ever read your blog and realize just what you do?
    Clueless? Heck more like brain dead.


  4. How can you remain friends with such an arrogant and elitist fool? I have cut all ties to people like your clueless friend. Their hypocrisy was too much for me to stomach.

    I'll start living a green lifestyle when Al Gore, Barack Obama, and Arnold Swartzenegger do. In the meantime, don't bother me - I'm busy driving the Hummer 3 blocks to the hardware store so I can buy some incandescent lightbulbs and a can of lead-based paint. OK, I don't own a Hummer, but I do love my SUV and the green police can have it when they pry my cold dead hands from the steering wheel. And the type of lightbulbs I prefer is my business, not the government's.

    I can hardly wait for the food police to kick in my door, but the lightbulb police might get here first. Or maybe the plastic grocery bag police - I've been saving those bags for years. I knew the day was coming when those very useful plastic bags would become as rare as common sense. Here in the Land of Fruits & Nuts, plastic grocery bags are more dreaded than domestic terrorists.

    Anonymous Patriot

  5. Here is Southern California (the land of freaks and weirdos) it is the same thing, the "tree hugging" crowd is so clueless. I live in a semi-rural area, but the city slickers keep moving up here. Then they complain about how we're not "green" because our public transportation is limited, and since we are spread out a bit, a car is really needed. They whine about no sidewalks, lack of shopping, and local horses. Then they plant grass in the desert and complain about the water shortage. There is just no pleasing these people. Most have fallen for Al Gore's nonsense hook, line, and sinker. I have learned that someone who leads a homestead lifestyle is as about as "green" as it gets, but let's figure out a new name for this resourcefulness, because to some, being called "green" is insulting:)

  6. this is not a friend but a mere acquaintance of yours...if she were mine i would keep her as an "acquaintance" because when you reflect upon her self-centered" attitude you will be reminded of all the blessings that you have...and that she does'nt.

  7. OK, I'm confused. Read the update. Janet is a composite character, so you don't want us to slap her around too much? How about this - my dislike for Janet is also composite. Will that work for ya? ;)

    Anonymous Twit

  8. Aw what the heck - go for it, AT!

    - Patrice

  9. This is where,after comments like these you roll your eyes, sigh in a long suffering manner and mutter "city folk"

  10. Patrice, sounds like you need to recruit all the Janet’s to help with the chores you get behind in during production of your wonderful Tankards. Might help them understand the bigger picture of really being green.

    AP, the people that brought you the ban on plastic bags are the domestic terrorists.