Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Contest Entry

Husband of the Boss communique'

Alright! We've received our first entry in the "Safecastle LLC Freedom Awards Self-sufficiency Essay and/or Video Contest" and as such in our "Rural Revolution Essay Contest"

While the prizes are certainly better over at SafeCastle LLC., we're only allowed to pass on one finalist in the essay and video categories at the end of the year for judging.


In the Rural Revolution sub-contest, we have 10 prizes to give out to those of you who submit your original essay or video on self-sufficiency, survivalism, and prepping.

Our prize, the coveted Rural Revolution Tankard 
(Will look something like this, 
but will also include the words 
"2011 contest winner" and your name.)

Anyway, here's our first entry. I must say I didn't anticipate this format, but what the hey! And since it's our first entry it's certainly well in the running for a Rural Revolution Tankard. (Assuming we get no more than nine other entries.)

So here's our own Anonymous Patriots entry.

My Survival Plan
Anonymous Patriot - USA

Upon all aspects of life, a little humor should rain.
It lessens the stress and soothes almost every pain.
If laughter is the best medicine, as many profess;
Be sure to include some jokes in your medicine chest.

So with humor in mind, I prepare for the worst.
I've got a Big Berkey to take care of my thirst.
Dehydrated foods are stored everywhere I look.
I've discovered, however, that I'm a poor cook.

I can split my own wood and stoke up the fire.
I can plow the land and change my own tire.
My Presto makes canning an airtight snap,
But I'm having some trouble finding time to nap.

The house is hardened against zombie hoard attack.
I've got heating pads and Advil to aid my sore back.
The band-aids are counted, the N95 masks set aside.
But I wonder if it might be easier just to go hide.

I've got wool socks in the dresser and sweats in the drawer
And I'm saving the clothes that don't fit anymore.
I know camouflage is stealthy in the deep piney wood,
But when it comes to hiding my rump, it isn't very good.

There are flashlights and radios in every room of this place.
I've collected matches and dryer lint 'til I'm blue in the face.
My EDC is extremely useful and I'm quite proud to say
It's got every micro tool conceivable to save the day.

I've got diapers, wet wipers, and kitty litter, too
All for the sake of making a portable bucket loo.
There are chickens in the yard and rabbits in the pen.
There are potatoes in the flower bed and herbs in the den.

As I look around at my survivalist food and gear
There's only one thing that's still missing here.
I've looked high and low for this final part of my plan,
But, doggone it, I can't find myself a good looking man!


Thanks AP for starting us off.

Now folks, please consider sending us an essay on your plans, thoughts and experiences in self-sufficiency and prepping. Your entry can be a far reaching as TEOTWAWKI or as narrow as why brown rice is a better storable food than white rice.  I know a lot of you have skills and training on these important topics. You have a real shot at some great prizes (ours and especially theirs) by simply putting on e-paper, or video, things you've already considered and practiced that might be of great help to others just starting out.  I've always been into helping others. (And a chance to get "paid" to do it doesn't hurt either.)


  1. Save the Canning JarsMarch 16, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    Oh Anonymous Patriot, that was so good! I had a good laugh, and I personally related to so much of it! Well done!

  2. A-Pat!! w00t!!! Bravo!


  3. AP, that was great. You are a true poet.

  4. Knew we could count on AP, and we weren't disappointed.

    Jeff - Tucson

  5. Hey Don,

    Is more than one entry allowed? Here or over at SC? Do you happen to know? (You're gonna make me go read the rules...I can feel it..)

    Jeff - Tucson

  6. AP deserves a tankard for writing this!

  7. Husband of the BossMarch 17, 2011 at 9:09 AM


    You can post as often as you like. You can't post the same article at different participating blogs. Oh...and a new rule. You can only win one tankard here.


  8. Thank you, all. I see my proofreader (me) was asleep on the job.

    Don, I'm working on a serious entry and will submit it to you late in the year. It sure would be wonderful to read others' entries here on RR.

    Anonymous Patriot

  9. Cool A.P. and I learned something, too. Actually, it was one of those "duh" moments. Dryer lint to start fires. Just like they do in peoples' dryers when they don't clean them out!

  10. That last line reminds me of a tragedy of a kind that I saw pull in to the shopping center across the street.

    A pick up truck - of the obviously "work" variety - pulled in and parked in about four spaces, deep in the lot. It was because he was towing an enclosed utility trailer.

    On the side of the trailer was a silhouette of a man with a saw and the words:

    "Husband for Rent"

    I cannot understand a man who cannot oil door hinges, get a cranky generator running, fix a fence, clear ptraps (or replace them) fix a toilet (or replace THEM)- - all things I have done.

    Me? The owner of that truck? No, I am a first order nerd. I just do what has to be done, because well.. it has to be done.

    I even CLEAN toilets...

    No madam, I am not available - I already have a keeper (wife) which I badly need.

    Men. If your wife needs to rent a husband, what good are you, particularly if (when!) the waste whacks the whirler?

  11. AP, your skills as a poet are absolutely marvelous. I loved every line and it reminded me I have to get some hot water bottles. Thanks.

    I am sure your good looking man is out there just waiting to discover you. Hopefully sooner than later.

  12. AP, is it OK with you if I put that to music?

    Girl, you're so hot.

    A. McSp

  13. AP,
    I understand your position - except from the opposite; I can't seem to find a good woman!
    Pray for God to lead you to the right man, and focus on where He has put you at this point in life.