Friday, August 5, 2011

Attitude adjustment

Especially since I write for WND, I am often on the receiving end of some nasty snarks. Most of the time I brush these off because, after all, I'm usually being criticized for my opinion, something to which everyone is entitled.

But this snark hurt. Someone wrote in:

You are getting pretty proud of yourself over the last few months publicly. I suggest you read the commandments and recall a bit more of the humble life you once led. The one that led you on your path.

I'm not a bible thumper by any means but I am getting sick of your tireless self promotion since you published your book.

This website used to be about lessons, learning and others but now, it's all about you. Keep it up and I'll be bidding you goodbye forever.

The reason this snark hurt is because it has some merit. It's hard not to share the excitement that comes with having one's first book published. But at what point do I cross the line between excitement and pride? Hard to say, except from a reader's point of view -- and this reader has obviously had enough.

So while it's tough to look in the mirror, I understand and accept this reader's criticism and humbly beg his or her pardon.


  1. Snort. There's nothing wrong with being proud of your family, your farm, your livestock, and your accomplishments. All you've done is shared what has been happening in your life, no different than before. Don't let the ol' crabs drag you down.

  2. Patrice, Swamp Woman is absolutely right! There is nothing wrong with being proud of your family and of your own accomplishments. You've not been a braggart in any way. All you have done is to share with others the joy in life's hard won accomplishments. You have inspired me and countless others! You have shown what someone can accomplish through perseverance, adaptation, innovation, hard work and faith. You have brought humor and humility into my life. That is a good thing! You have helped me increase my ability to see the goodness God has surrounded me with! People like you and Enola bring a lot of joy into people's lives. Don't let the snarkers get you down! This one in particular may want to look into a mirror himself. They sound a bit JEALOUS! If they can't stand for you to be happy or successful, and for you to share that with your readers, maybe they should move on.

  3. While I appreciate humility and your attentiveness to not falling prey to pride, I have to say that I think celebrating the good times and blessings is just as important as preparing for and lamenting the hard times.

    God gave you a great opportunity to have your book published, and everything you share about that process is a resource and encouragement to others looking to go down the same path.

    I commend your willingness to monitor your attitude, but I hope you won't stop sharing the celebration or enthusiasm with us. There's enough bad in the world that we can all use reasons to be happy for others!

  4. Your blog is simply sharing a window to your world - how you live, your values, your thoughts and insights, pictures of Lydia :-) etc. It's a world so different than many people know, whether it be the amazing rural farm stories, or values of homeschooling and self reliance. When you share that window to YOUR LIFE, I'd expect to see some stories of your personal success!!! Isn't that inspiring to others in itself?! You can find success and happiness without following the mainstream 'sheeple'.
    Don't feel guilty. I've enjoyed your journey and been inspired. Don't start to segregate parts of your life (success over simplicity etc) Your readers need to know 'with hard work comes success' and enjoy the window to your world
    Thanks so much

  5. I have to be honest, I began following you about a week prior to your book coming out, having come here due to a recommendation of it being about great wisdom and lessons. I have yet to see many of those.

    HOWEVER, I completely understand the excitement of having a book published and so figured this was just a pause in what you would regularly post. This is YOUR blog after all, lol! You get to decide what you want to post.

    I figured another month or so and I would see more of what you are good at: some good solid lessons. Maybe even stuff for a another book (or two).

    You posting about all the excitement and fun you are having over your book doesn't bother me at all. And I have yet to see you get -overly- prideful about it.

  6. Perhaps the complainer would like to stop being critical of other people and do a study of what the Bible has to say about being judgemental. It is not our place to judge one another. Only God can see into a person's heart and soul. I enjoy reading all your triumphs and failures as you travel the life you have chosen for you and your family. There is nothing wrong with being excited and enthusiastic about success. You earned it after all. Keep up the good work!

  7. Dear Patrice,

    Please, please do NOT "humbly beg his or her pardon." I have been reading your blog since just about the very beginning. You have been nothing but honest, open and forthright about all aspects of the daily life of a "practical contsitutional conservative stay-at-home gun-toting homeschooling cow-milking rural-living Christian mom." (and author, now, I might add!)

    The snarker above can just move on if this blog is no longer a good fit for him or her. No need for such drama: "Keep it up and I'll be bidding you goodbye forever." Good grief.

    I hope you will not change one thing about how you write, what you write, or the timing of it all! Keep up the great work!

    Mara :)

  8. Snarks are generally from people who are jealous. The tone of that snark was just that. Had it been phrased differently (not accusatory), and not included the threat to leave, I might feel otherwise, but really, I cherry-pick the blogposts I read, and I expect others to do the same to my posts. I find it rude that anyone would complain about a blogger's topics - if one is not interested in a particular topic, one should just silently skip it and move to the next. If one finds oneself doing this often enough to be annoying, then one should simply find a different blog to read. It is ridiculous to think that any specific blogger should cater to the tastes of any specific reader. That is not the purpose of blogs. I do not write in order to please any specific person. If I wanted to do that, I would write that person a personal letter/email.

    In the interests of full disclosure, I skip all the Lydia pics and posts because I'm not a dog person. My favorites are the opinion pieces and the how-to stuff. And I love the sunrises/sets. YMMV.

    Xa Lynn

  9. Some people just can't handle happiness!
    No, really. When you live in a depressed environment for a prolonged period, you begin to assimilate that depression.

    Perhaps this is a sign of the times.

    Some people share your Joy and multiply it!
    Keep writing and posting Patrice!


  10. Dear Patrice, you have done NOTHING wrong! This latest snark says "keep it up and I'll be bidding you goodbye forever." Oh, please DO bid goodbye and go frequent the liberal blogs where hate and unforgiveness runs rampant.

    You're a smart gal, Patrice. You know you can't please everyone. ESPECIALLY liberal progressives! Those you can NEVER please, unless it's to bow down to their "superior intellect" and agree with them always.

    As for "pride" and the many folks who believe there's nothing wrong with being proud, I beg to differ. Proverbs 11:2 says "When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with humility is wisdom." Also, Proverbs 15:25 says "The Lord will tear down the house of the proud." And of course all Christians are aware of Proberbs 16: 18-19.

    But you, Patrice, are not proud. You have shown us you are always thankful to God, grateful for what He has provided to you. You're not proud of your accomplishments, you're THANKFUL to God for them. And that's the way it should be.

  11. I do not see you as being prideful. I see the glory you are giving to God. You have accomplished something great with the help of the Lord and your family, and you have given credit where credit is due. So many want to point out everything that they feel you are not doing perfectly, so they may hide their own flaws. ( Since I have yet to meet anyone without flaws{sin} I am interested in why this commenter thinks he/she needs to attack you?

  12. Oh whatever! It's not wrong to share excitement! Getting a book published is a big deal. If you want to, shout it from the rooftops :)

    I think that people are so miserable in their little lives nowadays that seeing someone share their excitement about something is a slap in the face to them. It's really a sad way to live.

  13. I think Xa Lynn hit the nail on the head - the snarker (?) is jealous.

    Kellie's comment was also unnecessary. If you haven't yet read any great wisdom or knowledge here, perhaps that's because you don't recognize it when you see it. That's not Patrice's fault.

    It seems to me that far too many people forget that Patrice is trying to earn a living through her writing talent. Would her detractors also begrudge a plumber his pipe wrench or his advertisement in the yellow pages?

    Anonymous Patriot

  14. hey Anonymous Patriot, please reread my comment. I said I have not seen many, I did not say I had not seen any. And I did not place any blame anywhere. Seriously if that is what you got from my comment, you are seriously not comprehending well. I was complementing and encouraging her. It is sad you see such evil intent where there is none. Have a great day!

  15. That was one sad person who wrote that comment. I always enjoy reading all of your posts no matter what they are about. This is probably the first time I got watch someone publish their first book, and each new post was exciting for me to read.

    By the way, I ordered your book, and it arrived yesterday! I've already started reading it. I wish I had waited a little longer for the Kindle edition, but my poor Kindle had been missing its charger plug for a while. The book came in the same box as my new charger, heh.


  16. Hey, Kellie, my reading comprehension is just fine, thanks. If your comment was meant to be encouraging, I shudder to think what you'd write if you were trying to be discouraging.

    Have a great day yourself.


  17. There is a thin line to be sure.

    Perhaps this?
    Promote the book because it is helpful, not because it is yours?

  18. Patrice, Don't worry about the "snarkers" of the world.... They are in their own little world. Joy to you and all of your family as you "celebrate" your success as a writer! After writing so long for WND and sharing your insights into life in "fly over country" I find it refreshing to see someone succeed who isn't from either "coasts"! I agree, let him go "snark" someone else!

    Chad B. in NC

  19. I'd like to think that when most people encounter someone who is successful that they cheer them on and take encouragement that, with hard work, they too will be successful.

    Of course there are some who view life as a zero-sum game. The success of one means that another must suffer.

    I'll let everyone decide for themselves which side a snark falls. ;-)

  20. Patrice,
    I have been reading your blog for over a year -- who knows, maybe two (My how time flies!). What I read in so many of your mentions of the book sure seems more like humble astonishment at what you are receiving, rather than self-promotion. I have enjoyed sharing your journey and know that you appreciate the blessing of this talent more than most who have it. My suggestion is to continue to remember your blessings humbly and gratefully in your prayers -- which I am sure you already do. Add a prayer for peace to come to the sad commenter (I will too!), and then let God handle the whole matter.

  21. Patrice dear, you're doing fine. I've not once felt that you came across as overly full of pride, ready for a fall. You're rightfully happy, thankful and just the right amount of proud! :o) Heck, if I were to ever be published, I'd be singing it from the rooftops!

    In the current state of the world, I really enjoy a happy story, and love that you're willing to share your happiness with us, the readers.

    @Kellie - I think you did just fine girl. I've learned so much from Patrice's posts. You may want to go through when you have a lot of time and check the back issues. (Is that what you call them on a blog??)

    And I'm a cat person - but I love Lydia pictures! And chicken pictures. And cow pictures. Oh, and get Don to write some more "Husband of the Boss" - those always leave me in stitches!! (Hm, maybe a second published author in the family?)

  22. Amen to all the encouragers above. Whoohoo!

    Patrice, we love you and we depend on you for regular doses of wisdom and wit, daydreams and gritty reality as you encounter them. Oh, and your recipes are heavenly. (English muffins >>>> angel chorus)

    We follow your blog and your WND editorials and your book because we admire and trust you. Ignore the trolls. Keep doing what you do best!

    Hugs and much affection,

  23. Ppfffftt.

    Your poor joylessness troll is not just a whining concern troll, but appears not to be all that perceptive, imho.

    It's not about pride.

    Everybody knows you're only in it for the glamor.

    A. McSp


    ~~I wonder if Kellie knows what the term back-handed compliment means.

    ~~Anonymous 1:04, you're a thinker after me own heart.

  24. Hey Becky, you said: @Kellie - I think you did just fine girl. I've learned so much from Patrice's posts. You may want to go through when you have a lot of time and check the back issues. (Is that what you call them on a blog??)

    Yes I am slowly able to find time to go through her past blogs. There is just SO much great info and with me not having much time; I have not been able to do as much as I want; I am enjoying seeing her excitement and accomplishment of her book on here; as Gretchen so wonderfully put it her -mentions of the book sure seems more like humble astonishment at what you are receiving, rather than self-promotion.

    I could not agree more and that is SO refreshing to watch and read.

    @Anonymous, yes I do know what they are which is why I do not use them. I am a straight forward kind of person. I cannot help those who are determined to see things in my words that are not there.

    Patrice! you are doing a great job. I would not be here reading if I didn't get something good out of it! And I hope you took my first post in the spirit of encouragement it was posted in. and I am sorry about any conflict or distress I may have caused you. I am pretty blunt but sometimes don't express myself fully which it seems I must have did. :)

    I am hoping to have some money left after I get my supplies next month to get your book, I have read many great things about -I especially liked the one from the man who was going to make/use it as a nightly family study! that really touched my heart.

    well I think I caused enough of a stir in your comments ;)

  25. Patrice, PLEASE don't give the haters a second thought. That's what they are, of course. There are just some people in this world who hate to see success and happiness in others, so they try to tear those successful and happy people down. I read your blog everyday for inspiration and look at you as a person to emulate if I wish to be successful. I find both inspiration AND wisdom on your blog everyday (notwithstanding Kellie's back-handed, passive-aggressive snark...err "compliment"). Please don't change a thing.

  26. Stop The Presses! Whoppie Dinggy Wow, someone did something great and wants to share about it. How will I go about my day hoping that someone doesn't share something good that happened to them?
    I for one have learned many things reading your Blog, all I have to do is check the Archive section to find out anything I want to know,,,my chicken thank you a bunch, my wife thanks you more than you will ever know and I thank you cuz I had the idea of "mending" a screen first, LOL.
    Just A Redneck in Reno

  27. It speaks volumes that the snark-er posted anonymously. I'm very sorry it hurt you and I wish I could help. "Anonymous" was just a turd.

  28. Mrs. Lewis,

    I've been enjoying reading your new book that I won from Orange Jeep Dad. I don't care what anyone else says, being proud of a great accomplishment is good and promoting it in our capitalist system is very well justified. Keep up the good work.

    Steve Haynes
    also a self-promoting struggling author

  29. Patrice:

    I am Pelion on Ossa when it comes to shameless self-promotion and nothing you have posted or written has struck me as prideful. I think someone is jealous of your success. Remember fame is fleeting and enjoy your success for the ephemeral joy it is. Your willingness to share that joy with your readers is one of the reasons we love you. :)

  30. I find your life interest that's why I read your stuff. Plus your a photography is fantastic. Keep telling your story, I appreciate it.