Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Bad writing contest

Most writers get a big kick out of the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest, which awards the absolutely worst opening line for an imaginary book.

The contest sprang from the original "It was a dark and stormy night," which doesn't end there but continues: "...the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness." -- yes, this was the actual opening line of the 1830 novel Paul Clifford written by Victorian novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton.

Anyway, this year's winning line is as follows:

"Cheryl's mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories."

...which I think you'll agree is pretty durned awful. Congratulations to the winner!


  1. I don't get it. I thought those were lusty lines of prose that stimulated my mind to the depths of literary passion and creatives powers of my brain.

  2. It was a bright and cloudless day in DC, not a creature was stirring in Congress, when the self-annointed One outstretched his arms and parted the debt ceiling; in an instant the American people knew they were headed for dark and stormy times.

    Anonymous Patriot

  3. And you expect me to go fix supper after reading that?? LOL

    A. McSp

  4. anon.patriot has given me the giggles...very good!