Country Living Series

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Flood

You've probably seen this before, but it remains one of my favorite jokes.
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The Big Flood
It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, he drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?"

God gave him a puzzled look and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

5 comments:

  1. http://www.slate.com/id/2273171/pagenum/all/

    Patrice, I know this has NOTHING to do with your joke - but this article is a JOKE! Bleeh...

    Sorry to post this comment, but I figure if you look at your comments prior, you'll not put it on the page :)

    I just thought it was a disgusting little essay and wanted to share it with you (well, you know what I mean). I'm on my way out the door and didn't have time to look around for your email.

    KatieJ
    Germany

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  2. Your flood will come KatieJ! Young mouthy clowns are not new or different. It is as old as Noah's flood.

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  3. OK...I can't help myself. I gotta do it.

    A recently departed gentleman arrived at the Pearly Gates and was escorted by St. Peter into a large hall, upon the walls of which were mounted many many clocks. Each displayed a different time.

    When the man asked what they were for, St. Peter told him they were lie clocks, and every person had one. He explained that each time a person told a lie, the hands on their clock moved. "See that one? It belonged to Mother Theresa. As you can see, the hands are both on the twelve, because she never told a lie. This one over here is for Abraham Lincoln. It's moved three minutes, which shows he told three lies in his lifetime on earth."

    The man looked around with interest and asked, "Is there one for Barack Obama?"

    "Yes," replied St. Peter, "but it's mounted at the Jesus' home. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

    A.McSp

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  4. Cool! Someone thinks I'm young :)
    KatieJ

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  5. LOL...Jesus using BO's lie clock for a ceiling fan. Too funny.

    And I liked yours as well, Patrice. I think I knew the punchline before I got to the ottom of the page, though. LOL.

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