Country Living Series

Sunday, August 31, 2014

30 Signs You're One of those Crazy Preppers

In contrast to the rather sobering list of Inconvenient Truths About TEOTWAWKI, I thought you'd all enjoy this humorous list from The Organic Prepper entitled 30 Signs That You’re One of Those “Crazy Preppers.”

Here are the top 30 signs, should you ever be the subject of a nationwide manhunt, that you too will be considered a "Crazy Prepper on the Loose":

1. Pantries are so mainstream... you have food stashed in strange places in every room of the house.
2. You have enough toilet paper to get through a year of uncomfortable digestive upsets... occurring with 6 people simultaneously
3. Speaking of which, you possess at least 3 different ways to use the bathroom, only one of which is an actual bathroom.
4. Your kids know what OPSEC means…at the age of 4.
5. You have topographical maps of your area... plural.
6. When you’re forced to interact with “the others” you feel like you are awkwardly censoring your true opinions
7. You think nothing of treating an injury or illness yourself because “what if there was no doctor?”
8. Paintball is no longer just a fun way to spend an afternoon –- it’s called "training."
9. With every major purchase, you contemplate going for the off-grid version.
10. You have more manual tools than power tools.
11. You’ve washed entire loads of laundry by hand for either necessity or practice. (And not just your dainties... we’re talking about jeans and stuff!)
12. Your kids are not afraid of guns…or fingers pointed like guns... or pastries in the shape of guns…or drawings of guns.
13. When house hunting you look for multiple heat and water sources.
14. You store food in buckets... lots of buckets... like, maybe even a whole room full of buckets.
15. You garden with a determination and time commitment normally reserved for endurance athletes training for an Ironman triathlon.
16. If you don’t have a water source on your property, you have put in miles of footwork searching for one nearby, and have mapped multiple discreet routes to and from the source, and figured out how to haul the water back to your house on each route.
17. Your first instinct when hearing about some event on the mainstream news is skepticism. (False flag event, anyone?)
18. You believe that FEMA camps are real and that you are most likely on “The List”.
19. Instead of CNN, you have alternative news sites bookmarked in your favorites on your computer.
20. You have enough coffee/tea/favorite-caffeinated-item-of-choice to last you through three apocalypses.
21. You have enough over the counter medications stashed away to outfit a small-town pharmacy.
22. You have an instinctive mistrust of most cops or anyone working for an alphabet agency.
23. You could sink a ship with the weight of your stored ammo.
24. Looking for a fun weekend outing with the kids? Forget amusement parks –- the shooting range is where it’s at.
25. When the power goes out, you calmly light the candles and proceed with whatever you had been dong previously.
26. A longer-term power outage is called "practice."
27. If a like-minded person comes over to your house, they’ll realize you are "one of them" by seeing your reading material. Other folks won’t even notice. The FBI would call your copy of The Prepper’s Blueprint and your James Wesley Rawles fiction "subversive literature."
28. Your children carry a modified bug-out kit in their school backpacks.
29. You can and dehydrate food with the single-minded fervor of a Amish grandmother facing a seven-year drought.
30. Calling 911 is not part of your home security plan.

Daisy Luther is a freelance writer and editor who lives in a small village in the Pacific Northwestern area of the United States. She is the author of The Pantry Primer: How to Build a One Year Food Supply in Three Months. On her website, The Organic Prepper, Daisy writes about healthy prepping, homesteading adventures, and the pursuit of liberty and food freedom. Daisy is a co-founder of the website Nutritional Anarchy, which focuses on resistance through food self-sufficiency. Daisy’s articles are widely republished throughout alternative media. You can follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter, and you can email her at


(The Organic Prepper encourages everyone to add to this list.)


  1. Yep. I be one.

    A. McSp

  2. 15 and 29 pretty much sum up my life!

  3. You know your one when; last night we lost power so slipping the headlamp on that stays on my side table, I gleefully head for the hurricane lamps only to be terribly disappointed when the power came back on. Seriously thought about tripping the breaker.

  4. Guilty as charged, to pretty much all of it!

    And I wouldn't have it any other way.

  5. I am still laughing at the article and myself! Yes I am!

  6. # 8 You buy airsoft and have setup a range and tactical course.
    #14. You have barrels and not just buckets of food storage.
    #16 you have rain barrels and are trying to buy a cistern.
    #17 If Drudge does not load immediately you hit another site testing the "Internet kill switch" You know the IP addresses of sites you visit
    #18 you are somewhat disappointed if you have not made a government list.
    #25,26 is called a weekend practice of trimming wicks and getting thing charged via generator of solar power.

  7. I had to laugh about your comment on subversive literature. Here in the UK several prosecutions have listed evidence including The Anarchists Cookbook despite it being perfectly legal to buy, own and Amazon list it for overnight delivery lol! They haven't quite listed the King James Bible as such yet but eventually I'm sure.

    1. When politically-correct liberal-progressives run things, we can pretty much expect that sort of inanity!

  8. You know you're one when...

    #31: During the winter you routinely use the living room wood stove for cooking.

    #32 You can't throw away a worn out sweater. Instead you unravel it and use the yarn to make handwarmers and hats.

    A. McSp

  9. got to this website (and all others) using TOR or rerouted remote computers you don't own.

  10. #28 is wrong... because your kids don't go to government run public slave factories, you homeschool them where they'll learn what's actually important :)

  11. #23. And it would not sink a ship of any serious size. 'just sayin'

    1. Please, #23 was an exaggeration, a figure of speech, if you will. Of COURSE no one is going to have enough ammo to sink a ship. But, many preppers DO have quite a bit of ammo stored away. I am one such person!

  12. hey the only thing that I see is missing is the Bubonic Plague.
    I was in Rapture Ready today and there daily news headlines.
    Isis is planning on using hand grenades in stediums and other
    places load with the Plague.What are you all going to do about that on, if it so hits us.Sorry about this.

  13. #8 made me laugh out loud. (Paintball is for training.) As for #12, most kids aren't "afraid" of guns. It's older people (mostly women) who cringe in horror at the sight or even the THOUGHT of a gun. Those folks have sold their common sense and their souls to the liberal-progressive liars who just can't stop their harping on how terribly "dangerous" guns are! --Fred in AZ