Self-Sufficiency Series

Monday, January 7, 2013

Bwahahahahaha -- here we go again

Sheesh. You'd think, after studies have proven them wrong again and again and again, that critics would drop the tiresome "socialization" charge when it comes to homeschooling.

I happened to catch an article entitled Interest in Homeschooling Surges which reported an increase in the number of people interested in homeschooling their children in the aftermath of the tragic Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings. This doesn't surprise me -- I'm certain there are many parents who feel concern every time they send their children off to gun-free zones each morning.

But true to form, someone couldn't stop herself from snarking on the same weary and incorrect theme about socialization. "Public private schools offer the socialization without trying so hard," said Nory Behana. Behana is a Lecturer in child and family development at San Diego State University. She said parents should think twice about homeschooling. Behana said a classroom environment provides key skills for life. "Your socialization with peers is one of the best ways you figure out how you relate to the world," said Behana. She said homeschooling can be effective as long as there is a social component.

Um, hello, how many homeschoolers are taped into a cardboard box in the basement after their school hours are over in order to keep them away from socializing in the (cough) real world? I wonder if Ms. Behana ever noticed how little publicly-schooled kids have time for real-life experiences when they're locked in a classroom with the other lab rats for seven or eight hours a day?

"Professional educators, who don't fully understand the many styles of homeschooling, often raise this issue," noted Isabel Shaw in Social Skills and Homeschooling: Myths and Facts. "They believe school is the only place children learn socialization skills... The socialization myth was born out of a misconception of what it's like to homeschool. Many educators and critics of homeschooling still believe homeschoolers hit the books at 9 a.m., work all day at their kitchen table till 3:00 p.m. or later, and spend their day isolated and alone."

Since homeschooling has a proven track record of academic superiority, this begs the question: is the sole and exclusive purpose of school "socialization"? If so, why is no one examine the quality of socialization in which children are immersed?

Apparently a staggering 92% of school superintendents "believe that home learners are emotionally unstable, deprived of proper social development and too judgmental of the world around them," according to a California study by researcher Dr. Brian Ray with the National Home Education Research Institute.

Emotionally unstable? Deprived of proper social development? Too judgmental? Oh please.

Sigh. Still an uphill battle. I'm just grateful our girls aren't involved in the "social development" experiments taking place in America's public schools.

40 comments:

  1. Children can't learn socialization skills from other children who have no socialization skills. That's the job of the parents.

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    1. EXACTLY! --Fred in AZ

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  2. What if you don't want your children to be like what is coming out of public schools not days? If the reason children are sent to school is for socialization - close the public school and send them to the mall.
    JW M

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  3. We homeschooled three daughters through high school. They participated in 4-H, dance, piano, Girl Scouts, speech and history units, and all sorts of church activities. By the age of seventeen, each if them had her own business. I don't mean something Mom was running and the girls were helping. It was theirs frmj start to finish. For example... One taught dance to eight little girls. She recruited the students; arranged for use of a room for lessons; collected the fees from the parents; obtained tights and leotards for the girls and presented a recital.
    What a socialization experience. It doesn't get any more "real world" than that. (And by the way, how is spending most of your entire time with a group of people exactly your own age considered Real World? There isn't a much more contrived environment than that.)
    Two others volunteered at a hospital and at a historical museum. They worked with people in a professional way for two eight-hour days a week. They worked with people who were pre-school to elderly. They definitely found out how to relate to the world. One girl found that she was so good with young children that she singlehandedly ran the outdoor physical education time at a two week Bible School and went on to become a P.E. teacher.
    All three girls attended college and made the honor rolls. Two of them graduated with honors. The two who have children are now homeschooling them. They are also leading a book club, organizing a resale shop for Army families, working part-time as photographers, teaching a demanding fitness program called TRX and leading various activities for their homeschool groups.
    I think they figured out how to relate to the world.
    I firmly believe that public educators are only, mostly concerned with getting control over our children in order to brainwash them into thinking like the public school children think. They are molding the future society and our kids don't fit that mold. They think for themselves. They are independent and they are achievers. They so far outshine the public, gov't. school product that it embarrasses and shames those working in the gov't. schools.
    When I look at the three young women that I raised and educated, I see that it was more than worth the years of living on my husband's salary of $30,000 a year. It wasn't a sacrifice. It was a triumph!

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  4. Age Integration. This is what students need.

    In traditional schools, the students are age segregated. This is NOT a good thing.

    If a school is to prepare a student for the "real world" should not the student be working with folks of all ages?

    Want socialization? Join, and be active in, a local church. Get out and work on - - well anything. Nothing develops needed social and communication skills more than a shared need to accomplish a goal (other than blasting zombies on the game console in the basement).

    Age Intergration.

    We have left churches that demanded that our young'un head off to some age segregated class for foolishness.

    Children do not need to know how to work with children, they need to know how to work with adults.

    The bulk of the interactions will be with adults when they reach adulthood...

    ..Until they become parents themselves and the adventure starts all over again (for them... and we get to watch in amusement... I hope...)

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    1. "Children do not need to know how to work with children, they need to know how to work with adults."

      AMEN. The ultimate goal is for a child to grow up and function in an adult world with other ADULTS.

      Unless you're a public school teacher, I suppose.

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  5. First let me say that I love Crustyrusty's comments. I work in public shcools and few kids there have any manners or social skills at all. It's a great place to learn to bully, whine sass and dress like...like...well anyway. I'm a strong advocate for Home Schooling. Most homeschooled kids that I meet (and they are all over the place including my grandaughter's sports teams, church and summer camps) have remarkalbe confidence, poise and manners not only with other children but with adults too. So there.

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  6. first off let me say that I was in public schools untill 10th grade when I dropped out. As for socialization, I hung out with a small group of freinds and ingored/was ingored by everyone else. The popular kids were the ones that wore the least amount of clothing and had the most stuff. The group I socialized with contaned one kid the smoked weed, an overweight guy(my best freind), an Athiest, a math whiz, and me a shy deaf kid. all of them drunk weekly, and I slept through most of my classes. As Rusty said above most kids couldn't socialize thier way out of a paper bag without sounding like they didn't go to school at all. They fill thier sentances with 'like', 'and', and 'you know'. Here is the kicker, school is not about gossiping with you freinds or learning the lastest trends.... it's about learning math, sceince, and all the other helpful but boring stuff. The kids I described earlier in this mini rant, do you want your kids to learn things from them? I didn't think so (except maybe the smart one :) ). Reading this don't think I'm a grandpa that walked uphill both ways just complaining about today's youth... I AM today's youth, so the things I described are happening now.

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  7. My daughter is still in public school. I would love to homeschool her, but feel that my health just doesn't allow it at this point, and after going to public school her whole life, I think she would fight me. I don't understand why people think school is the only place kids can be "socialized". What do they think happens in church and Sunday school? What do they think the kids at our youth group do twice a week and on at least monthly activities? I talk to my daughter all the time, and she knows right from wrong and how to treat people. Her teachers and principal LOVE her! But she does get upset with the children who are not taught how to live. She complains about the number of pregnant girls at school, about kids mouthing off to teachers and such. I call that negative socialization and have taught my daughter to stay as far from it as she can get, but a classroom is only so big. I fear that our school kids in some cases are not being "socialized", but "indoctrinated". Yes, we can parent around that if we need to, but what of the parents that just send their kids to school and have no moral or spiritual conversations with them?

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    1. dear scarlett,
      i home-schooled our daughter when i had fourth-stage cancer. she learned to read and she did it herself. don't be afraid to do it.
      your gal needs protection from the moral filth more than she needs to be actively 'educated'. she will pick up most of what she needs by reading. my girl and i took a quilting class and she did figuring and geometry-like calculations to design her own quilt blocks--and mine too since i can't math my way out of a wet paper bag!
      do it. you'll never regret it.
      deb harvey

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  8. Humm, maybe public schools are focusing too much on social skills, thats why they are FAILING in academics. Two of our DD's are teachers in the public schools, they can tell you the classrooms are a jungle these days.

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  9. Most all of the schooling I was subjected to was a waste of my time. I was bored and resentful almost all of the time I was incarcerated in buildings of learning. Your girls have been given the biggest gift a parent can give a child. You had the good sense to home school them!

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    1. my exact memory of school!!

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    2. Reminds me of what I went through too.

      ~Lily~

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  10. Society wants people to think HSers are anti-social and weird. They want people to think only weirdos do it so they will NOT do it..... My daughter is in the 4th grade and does many subjects from 6th grade to 9th grade. I think that is a great thing. I have been asked, why am I doing this to her?? That its a DISADVANTAGE!! People that do NOT HS really have NO clue what goes it to HSing or out of HSing.....

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  11. It is easy to cherry pick cases that make your point about either home schooling or public schooling being seriously flawed.

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    1. That is true. Certain individual cases show horrible abuses of either system. However, it does not negate the documented facts that homeschooled students score higher on standardized academic tests and grow up into more involved citizens. The data is available for you to check out through Homeschool Legal Defense Association.

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  12. We started homeschooling our three kids this year, now ages 15, 11, and 8.

    Between the service projects, co-op get togethers, family activities, park days, winter activities, field trips, birthdays and general hanging out, we're trying to cut back on social activities per week.

    Not only has the quantity has increased over public school 'socialization', but the quality has vastly improved.

    '"Your socialization with peers is one of the best ways you figure out how you relate to the world," said Behana.'

    What a brazen lie.

    "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6

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  13. After picking myself up of the floor because I was there laughing so hard, I hugged my homeschooled daughter and her friends and just could not figure out how to make her social. LOL

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  14. So many excellent and TRUE comments! Of course, we will always have the snarks. Most of them know they are wrong, but of course will never admit it. Others just repeat the incorrect, misleading and untruthful blather that they hear from their lying liberal leaders. And then there are those whose job it is to keep the lies coming, hopefully causing confusion and doubt. They'll never give up, but neither will we! --Fred in AZ

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  15. Judgmental only because they actually learn how to think for themselves.

    If I had thought I could handle it when our boys were growing up, I would have homeschooled them because kids don't learn anything in school any more - except how to be sheeple.

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  16. Socialization - is that what it's called when thirteen-year old girls are getting knocked up in middle school?

    Bah.

    The publik skool sistim is nothing more than an indoctrination center for the Left. That's it. That is its entire use.

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    1. Maybe they didn't mean socialization, but rather . . .socialism.


      I always thought homeschooling was a bit off, until I started reading these blogs that homeschool. They've convinced me that its a far better choice. Even a "private public" school (I guess that would be our charter schools), is still a mish-mash of whoever gets in with a lottery system. A parochial school is VERY expensive and that still doesn't guarantee quality of the children attending -- just who has the money.

      (ya those 13 yo girls. I went to school with a couple of those...I'm 48 and they have children who are 34.)

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  17. My, my.....
    Where there is a will there is a way,
    Until then there is excuses!

    A favorite! Tim Hawkins; comedian.
    Homeschoolers are so unsocialized.
    What do kids in public school get in the most trouble for?.....socializing....hahaha

    Melissa

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  18. The public school system was modeled after a Prussian school. It was designed to create a labor force that could not think for themselves, thereby, doing what they were told. Look it up. You will be amazed at how the American people have been dumbed-down since the First World War. Tax-paying sheeple are what the politicians want. Wake Up!

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  19. Thirty some years later I can still hear my English teacher telling me that I was not at school to socialize. I wonder if he would tell students that today.

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  20. I am one of those parents who started homeschooling after Sandy Hook. Our school system is not intersted in providing ANY security in the buildings.
    SO, here we go. My daughter is a very bright 4th grader who adored school. Loved getting on the bus, loved being in the classroom.
    But, she is beaming with joy homeschooling. We get together with friends 3-4 times a week anyway and I have two scout troops. Socialization is NOT an issue.
    The only issue is: I am terrified of 5th grade math!

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    1. don't worry. the books have all you need and there are always a few mathy friends and kinfolks who can help. my daughter was born mathy so she did it herself--and straight A's in math at college.
      deb harvey
      p.s.- if your child doesn't understand it give it a rest and try again next year. the beauty of home-schooling is that each child can have a tailor -made flexible program just for him. don't try to force a square peg into a round hole, just enjoy it. when i hear people say they can't waIT TIL THEIR KIDS LEAVE HOME I AM ASTONISHED..YOUR HOME-SCHOOLED CHILD WILL USUALLY BE A DELIGHT.

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  21. Sigh. Reminds me of a time when I was, oh 14 or 15. (I'm 21 now.) And two of my friends and I went into a store to grab some stuff. I think one of us was wearing our Home school co-op's tee shirt, so a lady in the store asked us about it. We said we were homeschooled, and it was a once a week program, ect. And the first thing she did was start badgering me about socialization and how I was missing out on it. I stared back at her for a second, then saidsomething along the lines of "Well, this is my friend T..., and that's my other friend K... and well, I'm here talking to you" and she kept asking questions about socailization, not getting the fact I was there, with my FRIENDS. Still can't figure out why she couldn't understand that I was socializing right in front of her. :)

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    1. Because she was Public School educated and the concept was beyond her capacity to grasp.

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  22. I'd say that asking 'School Superintendents' about their views on homeschooling is about the same as asking 'Coke about Pepsi' (or would 'asking rapists about self defence classes' be more applicable here?).

    The telling point, surely, is that rather than critique the academic outcomes, the skills and abilities of home schooled children, they're forced to fall back on the old, and patently baseless, saw about 'socialising' as even they know the real truth is too obvious to miss.

    Just Sayin'

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  23. I know some kids who have come through the public school system are are respectful human beings with good social skills. And I will say, it is DESPITE the system, and has everything to do with good parenting.

    LIkewise, I've met a few weird, unsocialized homeschoolers. Who have weird, unsocialized parents. So go figure.

    In general though, bad social behavior is a byproduct of the public education system. Peers are socializing peers in a culture where everything goes.

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  24. Those people are morons...Of course kids can be socialized other ways besides going to school. My brother is engaged to a home schooled, wonderfully socialized woman.

    But I was offended when you said, " I wonder if Ms. Behana ever noticed how little publicly-schooled kids have time for real-life experiences when they're locked in a classroom with the other lab rats for seven or eight hours a day?"
    These are children you are talking about!! They are not lab rats! They are JUST KIDS and they have no say in how they are schooled...usually.

    I think you should have taken the higher road on this issue.

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    1. No offense meant to the children. My point is these precious children are too often SEEN as lab rats by school administrators. They are the lab rats on which too many social experiments are performed. Not an enviable position for either the children or their parents.

      - Patrice

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  25. So pychologists are opposed to homeschooling. I would have to agree. Psychologists should not homeschool their children... the rest of us are fine!

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  26. hi.
    well! you've opened the worm can--again!
    story; we were in ahospital visiting a parishioner who was out of the room for tests. her two daughters were there, both schoolteachers. one had accompanied their mother and the other visited with us 'til her mom returned.

    she told us how her sister had almost been stabbed trying to stop a knife fight on the playground. we then spoke about the recent suicide of a boy at her own school becaause he was so mercilessly tormented because he was chubby. she also told us that she could not wear some of her favorite colors because they were 'gang colors'.
    she then looked at our daughter (this was 20 years ago) and said 'oh, isn't she about ready for scholl?' i said we were home-schooling.
    she said 'what about socialization??!!'
    i replied that she had a lot of gall to ask after the stories she had just told us!
    she thought for a minute and said, wonderingly, 'you're right!'
    it had been drummed into her that socialization was the valid argument against home-schooling but she had never questioned it, and she was very intelligent.
    i also said that our daughter would never be a pregnant, drug-addicted, std- infected 12-year-old. because that is socialization also!

    the reason we are called judgemental is that we are! what is more important than wise judgement? our kids are mostly morally strong since many HSer's are Christian and non-Christians HS for reasons similar to our own. yes we judge that the sewerage of the school is not the bath water in which we wish to bathe our children. wise judgement is good. as for judgementalism, what about the children tortured every day on the playgrounds for being poor, fat, dumb, et cetera?

    it isn't that superintendents and other personnel of the school system are misinformed about socialization of HSer's, it is that it is the only arrow in their quivers left as they are obviously not able to brag that their products have won the national spelling or geography bees.
    and the list goes on. the socialization card is the only one they have.

    i do want to laud the many fine teachers who pick up the remains of education and truck on through increasingly more difficult to navigate waters of bureaucracy and federal mandates and special interests et cetera. God bless them they are working i war zones with no body armor. it is good to pray God's guidance and blessings on t
    them and all those children.

    deb harvey

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  27. As a Deputy Sheriff I have been assigned to numerous suicides by juveniles. Not one of those that I can recall, was committed by a Homeschool student.

    The only homeschool negative incident occurred when a young lady was molested by her older brother and the parents attempted to prevent intervention. It got a little dicey and I do think that the isolation that those parents implemented caused it to happen. (Both children were scarily underdeveloped socially with brilliant minds) Fortunately the parents had gotten the daughter into classes outside of the home.. (ie. fencing, flute etc. ) and the child had the opportunity to report the incident.

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  28. Isn't schooling supposed to be about educating? Perhaps public schools should focus a little less on their idea of "Socialization" and more on actually teaching. Home schooled children score better, tend to show a higher level of respect and morality and are very comfortable around all ages of people. Critics (i.e. "progressives") need to get their heads out of their butts and just accept the facts that the majority of homeschooled children are stable, well educated, well rounded young people.

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  29. There are so MANY reasons I homeschool my girls, and socialization was a big one. I do NOT want my kids around the ill-mannered, foul mouthed little reprobates who have never seen any kind of parental discipline. Not only that, but even girls as young as seven dress like little street walkers, and even at that age boys would say inappropriate things to my girls.

    There is nothing normal about children spending the majority of their time surrounded by a hundred other children their own age. There is no other time in life where that happens; go to college, the classes are offered as experience dictates. Take an art class, they are offered by talent level. Get a job, you are not grouped by age. Can you imagine?? "All the 42 year olds go to this room, all the 35 year olds go to that room..."

    I find it very odd that people say children who are home schooled don't get "proper socialization", when the weird Lord Of The Flies kind of thing they get in a group of thirty ten year olds is anything but normal.

    Maybe my kids ARE weird; they are polite, they know how to cook, they can have a conversation with adults, etc. These days, that isn't normal. So I am very pleased that my children haven't been "properly socialized".

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  30. I had an interesting conversation with my step son (17) recently about homeschooling, and to preface I have not been allowed to teach or insist that he use table manners, etc. (Long story and not a good one)

    He popped off with the usual 'homeschooled kids lack socialization' nonsense. I corrected his misinformation with a number of examples. Meanwhile, *he* lacks table manners, is rude to adults, is self centered, etc. Yeah, public school has taught him how to make his way through the real world all right.

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