I received an email from a reader named Melissa with some excellent questions. I asked permission to post her email and open the topic up for discussion.
I've been following your blog for years. Even though we live in the suburbs, we adhere to a philosophy of self reliance. We've homeschooled for over 14 years and have graduated two of our three children. One is currently serving in the army and the oldest will graduate college next summer.
My question for you is... Our daughter just turned 21 and has never been on a date. She has strict requirements for what she wants in a mate..... A strong Christian and a man that's not afraid to be a man. Her college is full of liberal "nut jobs." And she belongs to a Christian organization.
As a parent of daughters, what advice do you give them? Where on earth have the real men gone? I've seen more young men in stores that are very effeminate. Just yesterday, my husband and I were in Target and a young man in front of us was buying a cupcake and researching hair products on his phone. I can guarantee that he has never done hard labor in his life.
Maybe we could have a discussion about this on your blog. I know we can't be the only parents concerned for our daughters and their future spouses.
Besides asking permission to post her email, I replied as follows:
A couple of quick thoughts. First, your daughter is currently in a highly artificial environment which is super-saturated with progressives. Once she departs from college and launches into the Real World, she'll find there is a broader and more diverse (don'cha love that word) group of men out there. When she graduates and finds a job, I encourage her to get involved in groups and organizations that reflect her interests -- church, of course, but also hiking clubs or literary groups or dog breeding groups or whatever else she enjoys.
I am also not adverse to online dating services. There are a lot of them out there now, which reflect a lot of very specific criteria. There are rural dating sites and prepper dating sites and of course Christian dating sites, etc. I see nothing wrong with utilizing these services.
I just now read your email out loud to my husband and he had another idea: perhaps she could get involved in ministries that do work on military bases. Your child who is serving in the army can no doubt testify about the plethora of young men who would love to meet a young woman with high standards like your daughter.
Besides, you never know when you'll find the right person. I met my husband while walking my dog over 25 yrs ago. My dog had aggression issues with other dogs, but for some reason she liked his dog, so we started walking our dogs together... and the rest is history.
So, dear readers, what are some other ideas for how a young woman with high standards could meet a compatible young man who's not afraid of hard work or masculinity? Let's hear 'em. (And I can assure you, my daughters will be reading all the responses with great interest.)