Reader Becky sent this to me. "I thought you might like a laugh," she wrote. "This was a recap of a recent dehydration attempt. I neither confirm nor deny that I was the main perpetrator."
I laughed so hard upon reading the email that my younger daughter asked what was so funny. Then SHE read the email and started laughing. "Tell her I totally relate," said my hot-pepper-loving daughter.
So, for your edification, here are Becky's thoughts on how NOT to do food preservation.
The events surrounding the dehydration of 20 quarts of assorted hot peppers. Names have not been used to protect the naive.
• Clean work area. Set up bowl, dehydration screens, washed peppers.
• Set mp3 player and put in earbuds
• Put on disposable gloves and begin seeding peppers, placing seeded halves on trays
• When earbud falls out, nonchalantly place earbud back in place
• A few minutes later, realized DANG there was hot pepper stuff on the earbud and the ear canal is swelling shut.
• Flush ear, when it doesn't work call Mom (moms know everything). Except in this case where the only suggestion was cramming sour cream in my ear. At least they were nice enough to not laugh until I hung up
• Carefully remove disposable gloves, jump in shower to flush ear
• Move hair out of face
• Two seconds later realize that, despite the care taken, hot pepper stuff IS on your hands and your eyes are on fire
• Scream to Dear Daughter for help. No answer, bang on wall and yell for help again
• Wish, quite loudly, that you had instead given birth to Lassi -- she would have been able to grab you a towel or washcloth or something
• Get eye pain under control enough to find the towel and stumble out of the shower
• Bathe eyes with milk on a washcloth
• Growl when Dear Daughter finally shows up and asks why you're putting milk-soaked Q-tips in your ears...