Provoking our children

I've been cogitating lately on Colossians 3:18-21, "Instructions for Christian households." This chapter includes the fiery verses so many people (especially women) find objectionable, namely "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

But putting aside the horrific (to feminists) word submit, it's verse 21 that caught my eye: "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." The King James Version has it translated, "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

It is, of course, necessary to discipline children. That’s biblically mandated. But what does it mean, to provoke or embitter children?

We all hear about the duties of children toward their parents – it's enshrined in the Ten Commandments, after all – but what duties do parents have toward their children, beyond taking care of their physical needs? Do they have a duty not to "provoke" or "embitter" them? And what does that mean?

Endless people will interpret that verse in endlessly different ways, but I think a lot of it has to do with nagging or forcing kids to do things against their nature. Children must be "forced" to do things they don't want, for many years – they must be "forced" to share household chores, "forced" to do their schoolwork, even "forced" to attend church. But at what point does forcing backfire and rebellion ("bitterness" or "discouragement”) results?

I'm no psychologist, but my guess is it happens when parents totally and completely disregard the wishes, needs, natures, or interests of the children as not important or worthwhile. Kids are not robots who will unquestioningly obey regardless of their opinion. Children have their own personalities, emotions, and opinions. Within the bounds of rationality, these should be respected.

In the patriarchal hegemony of the Bible, children were expected to instantly obey a father's directives without question, regardless of their opinion. Fathers were expected to know best. They were expected to guide their children away from whatever dangers awaited. They were expected to shield their children from the dangers and temptations they knew existed in the world.

But undoubtedly many parents (particularly fathers) took this to such an extreme that the children naturally rebelled. Enforcing rules that are too strict or oppressive will make children hate whatever it is you’re trying to encourage, including matters of faith.

Child rebellion is as old as the Bible (hence the many verses in Proverbs addressing it) but parental despots were also common. As Colossians 3:21 illustrates, such unyielding dictatorship could result in bitter and discouraged offspring.

I've met parents who suppress every original thought their child harbors lest it depart from parental supremacy. Yet our children must learn to think independently, even if they go through stages where they’re wrong, or where we disagree (again, within the bounds of rationality).

And sometimes rebellious kids will grow into adults, still harboring those rebellious thoughts – and won’t learn differently until they’re clunked upside the head with Real Life.

As young children developing their theories of their world through observations, a child may tell his mother that "the sun goes to bed at night." Mother scoffs and tells Junior what a dumb idea it is. Does this reaction encourage Junior, or embitter him?

Growing older, again while trying to make sense of the adult world they are soon to enter, teens may develop opinions contrary to that of their parents in an effort to either claim independence, or to provoke. Many parents quash these contrary views and tell the teen he's wrong to believe thus-and-such and he'd better darn well change his mind OR ELSE. This often causes the teen to cling harder to his idea until it becomes part of him rather than just a passing fancy.

If this keeps up – if children are not allowed or permitted to have their own unique opinions, thoughts, or conclusions – then they may indeed become provoked to the point of embittered. I've seen it. It's sad… particularly because teens change as they mature into adults. Had they not been provoked or embittered, these young adults might eventually have dovetailed their opinions and attitudes with those of their parents – except they were provoked otherwise.

In short, while children have the biblical mandate to obey their parents, I believe parents have a biblical obligation to their children as well, not to provoke or embitter them lest they become discouraged. It's not our job to stifle their creativity, their opinions, their emotions, or their interests. It's our job to guide those qualities into acceptable and respectful channels.

Just my $0.02.

Totally unexpected surprise

Yesterday morning around 6:30 am -- just when it was getting light enough to see outside -- I suddenly heard the cattle bellowing in excitement. Looking out the window, I saw them galloping up to the bull pen and milling about. I grabbed a coat and scarf -- it was 22F outside -- and what did I see?

A calf! Shadow, who's been our bull Samson's pen mate since late December, had borne a calf!

This was totally and completely unexpected. Shadow, you may recall, lost a calf two years ago. It was born dead and was the first calf we'd ever lost in 15 years of owning cattle. Poor Shadow was understandably upset, and as the years went by it seemed she was barren as well. She had plenty of exposure to the bull, but never again became pregnant (or so we thought).

We received some suggestions we should just put Shadow in the freezer since she wasn't able to have a calf. We're not particularly sentimental about (most of) our cows, and we will more readily butcher an ornery animal, but Shadow's disposition is sweet and we saw no need to get rid of her without a good excuse.

Besides, even if she couldn't bear calves, she did have a use -- she could keep the bull company during times we didn't want other cows bred. That's why she's been Samson's pen mate for the last few months.

As for how we didn't know she was pregnant... well, some cows, like some women, carry a pregnancy with great subtlety. So it was with Shadow. Never in the past nine months did she look even remotely pregnant. So I repeat, this calf was a complete surprise.

A glimpse of a tiny scrotum -- we have a little boy.

By the time I saw him, the baby was on his feet and nursing strongly. Shadow has shown great attention and promises to be a good mama.

All the other ladies lined up to admire the new arrival.

Samson, of course, thought they were lining up to admire him, and he pawed and pranced around like the stud he is.

I gave Shadow a little bit of food right where she was, so she wouldn't be conflicted between being hungry vs. staying with her baby.

But our priority was to get her and the baby out of the bull pen.

Not because Samson was likely to be aggressive to the calf -- Dexter bulls are pretty good about respecting calves...

...but because the bull pen, like the feed lot, has parts that are literally knee-deep in sticky black mud and we couldn't risk the baby getting mired.

Nor could we turn Shadow out with the rest of the herd. Again it's not because anyone would hurt the baby, but there's mud everywhere.

After some discussion, we decided to confine Shadow and the baby in the hay barn for the time being, at least until we can castrate the baby. Here they would have unlimited food and complete protection from the weather. Although it was chilly this morning, thankfully we're having mild weather with temps in the 40s.

Even in cold weather, calves do fine as long as they have shelter, hay bedding, and a belly full of warm milk.

So after giving Shadow most of the day to recuperate and get used to having a baby...

...we got her and the calf out of the bull pen and shooed another cow in to keep Samson company. It was too dark to take photos by the time we got everyone bedded down, but suffice it to say we blocked Shadow and baby in the barn with cattle panels (which also locked poor little Lucy out, the greedy thing) and filled a tub of water for mama.

I've been smiling the whole day over our new addition. Cows are happiest with calves, and it pleases me that Shadow has one at last.

Now... what shall we name the baby?

Hating women

Last September I wrote a WND column called Feminism Has Slain Our Protectors. In my naiveté, I thought it was a nice tribute to men. Apparently I was wrong.

To my surprise, the column because the focus of intense debate among a group of misogynists. I don’t use that term lightly: I mean these men seriously hate women of any sort. Here it, five months after the fact, and comments are still coming in (445 at last count).

Evidently the column made the rounds of a group calling themselves MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way), the premise of which is men are no longer feeling obligated to do anything that society in general, and women in particular, expect them to do. They will no longer feel compelled to get married or support a family. They will no longer feel compelled to fight wars or engage in professions that get them dirty. They will no longer feel compelled to open doors or assist with a flat tire. In short, they'll do their own thing without regards to traditionally masculine concepts of duty, obligation, or (particularly) chivalry.

These men are just as hostile (if not more so) toward traditional ("trad con") women as they are toward feminists.

The latest comment (from yesterday) to come in on the column was from someone calling himself John Rambo and reads as follows:

I'm a MGTOW. I'm going my own way, without a backstabbing treasonous *** dragging with me. I would help any human being. But when you 'train me' to do the job, then *** , you bloody... I can see through every intention of women.

This article is pure evil. When a man would write thing like "Women should be chained to the countertop, and should be used as baby factory", then hell would break loose.

It doesn't matter what women think, or what they want. Women get older, and they will see men turn their heads less and less. They will be desperate attention-junkies going cold turkey.

Yesterday I received an email from (presumably) the same poster (he called himself John the MGTOW) as follows, which is why I thought to check the comments on the column:

Dear Patrice Lewis.

What if men were going their own way, and simply would ignore women completely?

So no marriages, no children, no sex, no protection, no alimony, and the hard, dangerous, dirty and heavy jobs women also can do themselves.

Men Going Their Own Way, without women. That is what is happening right now more and more.

You want enslave men to do your dirty and heavy jobs? See men as walking ATM's?

We can just walk away, and never come back. And we will.

Ahh, I love the smell of victory.

Cheers! John the MGTOW

Beyond the logical question of what these men DO all day, it's clear this kind of general-purpose hatred didn’t just spring up from nowhere. It had to have a source. Obviously these men all bear similar wounds and decided to cluster together for protection against the perceived hostility of womanhood. Whether those wounds derived from an ex-wife, a girlfriend, or (most tragically) a mother, I’m sure we’ll never know.

I just think it’s sad.

And you thought YOUR job was tough...

Here's a fascinating short YouTube video a reader sent, under the category of "And you thought YOUR job was tough..."

Here's a fellow changing a light bulb on the top of a 1500-foot TV tower.

I have a pretty decent head for heights, but I think even this would defeat me. My hat is off to the unsung heroes who do this kind of stuff every day.

Most boring blog ever

Here's a comment I recently received:

You win the award for the most boring blog ever. Pictures of biscuits and posts about freezers and clock radios. Yawn. Please get real lives and stop documenting every burned out light bulb and fart you come across. You have great potential (I've read a lot of your stuff), but you're wasting it on the mundane. ZZZZZZZZZZ..............

Ah well, ya can't please 'em all.

Giving up the ghost

After fourteen faithful years of service, our gigantic chest freezer finally gave up the ghost.

This freezer has been an outstanding appliance. As I recall, we bought it in 2000 when Montgomery Wards went out of business. We walked into the rapidly-emptying store during their liquidation process and asked for their biggest chest freezer. I don't remember the price, but we came home with a 24.9 cubit foot Frigidaire. That was when we still lived in Oregon.

We transported it all the way to Idaho in 2003 (filled with half a cow -- our logic was it was easier to move the cow in the freezer than on the hoof) and since we had no place to set it up inside the house (and since we don't have a garage), we parked it outside on our side porch. We didn't realize this was the wrong thing to do, since this meant it was in full sunlight during the first half of the day. In warmer weather, this made the motor run too hard. Sure enough, in 2008 the motor died. Horrors. But we engaged the services of an appliance repairman, he fixed it up spiffily, and he told us the freezer would last much longer (and run more efficiently) if we moved it to a shady spot. So our chest freezer sat on our north-facing front porch ever since.

Over the years the lid of the freezer started giving us trouble -- the screws were working loose and the insulation was getting wet and swelling, etc.

This caused massive ice buildup inside the fridge. Fortunately it happened during winter, so the contents of the freezer weren't compromised (since it was just as cold outside as inside the unit).

Twice, Don fixed the lid.

But last week we noticed things were not as "hard-frozen" as they should be. The lid was working fine and the food was still frozen, but it was clear the motor was failing.

We couldn't complain. Fourteen years of hard work -- we certainly got our money's worth. We knew this day was coming and had money earmarked for a replacement freezer.

Phone calls to appliance centers around the area did not yield any freezers of the same size -- at least, not without waiting a couple of weeks -- so for the time being we settled on a "dinged" 16 cubic foot new model.

Here it is, in the back of our truck.

We manhandled it onto the side porch, unwrapped it, and plugged it in. The manufacturer's directions said to chill the freezer before putting anything in it.

Here are the "dings" it came with. We'll coat this with an anti-rusting agent.

While the new unit chilled, we set about the daunting task of emptying the old unit. Fortunately we're running low on beef (we'll be butchering soon) so what remained in the freezer was beef, the chickens we butchered last summer, lots of garden produce (especially strawberries, some of which are in the photo below), cheese, and things like tortillas, pork (bacon ends, some pork chops, etc.), and a few veggies I haven't gotten around to canning yet. We also discarded the mysterious unlabeled oddities that tend to fossilize in freezers.

After it was empty, Don and I manhandled the old freezer off the porch... but then were stuck with how to move it into the barn. You see, we have plans for the old freezer. Don did some volume calculations and determined it will hold about 1000 lbs. of chicken feed. It's long been our desire to buy chicken feed in bulk (it's much cheaper that way) but we were stymied with where to store it, since it would need to be moisture- and rodent-proof. The old freezer will be ideal for that purpose. After some discussion, we decided to put the freezer in the barn. But how to move it that far?

Tractor to the rescue! In addition to Don having an excuse to play with his new toy, it was the absolute best solution to moving the heavy unit without killing our backs.

We didn't want to move the new freezer using the tractor, of course -- too much danger of damage -- but we couldn't figure out how to move it from the side porch to its permanent location on the front porch. Don (brilliant guy that he is) finally rigged up a method of two loops of straps, one at either end, with a long iron pole to lift. We each hoisted one end of the pole and easily carried the freezer to where it needed to go.

This freezer has a lid that stays open without the need of a stick to prop it up, and it has an internal light (whoo-hoo!). Right now it's packed to the gills... and as I said, we have two animals slated for butchering soon. Since we still have money in our freezer fund, we'll buy a second unit in the near future and use it for beef.

Having two smaller freezers instead of one larger freezer is probably a better idea anyway, since if one unit dies we can prioritize and keep things frozen in the second unit until we can get a replacement.

Of course we've thought about what we would do in the event of a long-term power outage. The most valuable thing in our freezer is beef and other meats. The units would stay cold long enough for me to can everything up. Our stove is propane and does not have an electric start, so it works fine in a power outage. I would be canning round the clock, but we wouldn't lose much. I also keep about six dozen of quart jars empty and on standby in case of a freezer emergency.

New ebook store!

Howdy all:

Patrice is busy washing dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, and cooking dinner, and the weather here is keeping me from playing with my new tractor, so I decided to take this opportunity to announce our new business.

Many of you have been kind enough to purchase the few e-booklets we've offered at our-less-than-user friendly old site, Self Sufficiency Series.com (thank you!). But one of our long-term goals has been to expand both the offerings and the subject matter available. We also wanted a way for people to buy more than one item at a time.

I think we've finally got that down by using the services of an on-line shop and e-cart service available through www.BigCartel.com. So it is with great pride (and some anxiety – we've tested the system and it seems to work, but...) that I now announce the opening of our new e-book store: www.CountryLivingSeries.com

We now have 24 inexpensive titles available, covering topics like “Moving to the Country” and “The Home Dairy,” all written by Patrice.  Each PDF booklet is lavishly illustrated and (we hope) full of useful information for those with the itch towards further self-sufficiency.  Upon check-out, an email containing links to all of the purchased booklets will be sent to the customer.

We will be adding more titles as we get them done: currently in the works are such e-booklets as Piemaking 101, Tire Gardening, Chicken Basics, and numerous preparedness-related e-booklets.

We'd love it if you, dear readers, would take a look at the new site and see if there are any additional topics that you'd like to see covered on subjects related to prepping, country living, and self-sufficiency. By way of incentive, if we use one of your suggestions for a new e-booklet, we'll make sure you get a free copy as soon as it's ready for publication.

Also...

For those of you who have the capability to help us out by sharing the site with your own readers and friends, we'd be grateful. Spread the word! Every penny earned will, for a long time, be going to tuition for Older Daughter's nanny school this summer.

Thanks,
Don

Heeeeere's Lucy!

Many of you remember last summer when we had a sweet little red heifer calf born.

Because we couldn't think of a name for her, all of you lovely readers chimed in with dozens of suggestions. We finally chose "Lucy" since, of course, she's a red-head.

Lucy is now seven months old and darling.

True to the nature of calves, she's become quite an escape artist.

I often see her where she shouldn't be. She never wanders far, though, so we're not worried.

She's become my frequent companion in the barn, where she gorges undisturbed on hay. As a result, she's fat as a butterball.

Look at that belly!

Unlike the other animals who use the awning for shelter, little Lucy uses the whole barn.

Her coloration certainly makes her stand out. I don't think we've ever had such a red heifer.

No special point to this post, just thought you might like to see some cute pix.