How to live a simple life

Here’s a question for you: When you hear the term “simple living,” what flashes through your mind?

I confess I get a kick out of reading “simplicity” books, largely because I find them so misguided.

Take the following example, borrowed from a book which shall remain unnamed. This passage is under “Get rid of your anger.”

Granted, getting rid of your anger could indeed simplify your life. But how does this author recommend doing so? Well, every morning (every morning!) you’re supposed to go into the bedroom, pile your pillows at one end of the bed, and “bow gently to your inner self and to the universe.” Then you’re supposed to beat the holy tar out of your pillows as a “spiritual exercise.” When you’re finished, catch your breath, “come back to your center,” then kneel once more to bow to yourself and to the universe. Voilà.

I, for one, find this to be an incredibly stupid idea. I dunno, maybe it’s because I don’t harbor that kind of anger. Maybe it’s because pillows are expensive and I don’t wish to destroy mine. Maybe it’s because my kids would think their mother was a lunatic if I did this on a daily or even occasional basis. Maybe it’s because I think the idea of “bowing to your inner self and to the universe” is nothing but ridiculous New Age mumbo-jumbo.

There have been an enormous spate of simplicity books on the market in the last fifteen years or so, and they’re all rich in stuff like this. Ultimately you’re encouraged to give up your job and spend the rest of your life volunteering for social justice, move to a cabin in the woods (in order to more efficiently commune with nature), eat lots of organic foods, meditate on the “universe,” and master creative and unusual yoga positions.

Simple living, eh? Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

Do you honestly think eating granola or living in a log cabin or beating your pillows to a pulp will make your life simpler? Maybe a teensy weensy bit, but overall – nope.

Now keep this in mind as we switch topics. The reason this subject is on my mind lately is because of an email my mother just sent me.

Apparently my brother has a childhood friend whose mother just passed away. Very sad, to be sure. But………

“Talk about a dysfunctional family,” wrote my mother, who knows the family. “The mother [the woman who died] met a salesman and started having an affair with him. She and her husband have a very mentally handicapped daughter. The mother would have Al [the father] take care of their daughter so she could go sleep with her boyfriend. Eventually she divorced her husband and married the boyfriend. He [the boyfriend] couldn’t hold down a job. When she met him, he was having an affair with someone else and had been kicked out by his wife. His family is furious at him and refuses to see him…”

Are you confused yet? I know I am. Compared to this woman’s shenanigans, my marriage of twenty years seems almost boringly wholesome. I wrote back to my mother, “My life is so simple.”

And that about sums it up. Simplicity isn’t living in a log cabin or doing yoga. It’s not about eating organic food or getting rid of call waiting. It’s doing things like marrying a good person and keeping one’s marriage together. It’s staying out of debt and living within one’s means. It’s about dealing with the monkey wrenches in life, like having a handicapped child, in a manner that is mature and stable.

In other words, simple living can be summed up in three simple words. Got a pencil? Here they are:

Make. Good. Choices.

That's it.

If this twit – may she rest in peace – had resisted the temptation to have an affair (a CHOICE) and instead had poured her energy into her marriage, perhaps she could have passed into the next life without a great deal of explaining to do at the pearly gates. Not to mention having acquaintances indulge in the forbidden pleasure of gossiping about her shortcomings rather than remembering her with admiration.

So consider this: is your life simple because you eat organic food? Or is it simple because you choose to work on your marriage? Is your life simple because you therapeutically and prophylactically punch your pillow after bowing to your “inner self” (whatever the heck that is), or is it simple because you have no debt and live modestly within your means? Is your life simple because you stop answering the phone every time it rings, or because you resisted having an affair and instead kept your family intact?

It’s like my editor who wrote the piece on being a lazy homeschooler. His life is simpler because he CHOSE to raise his kids away from the toxic “socialization” of public schools.

By now you may be snorting with derision at my, well, simplified notions. “How can I live simply in a bad economy? How can I get out of debt if I can’t find a job? How can I work on my marriage if my spouse is the one having an affair?”

You’re right – some things are beyond your control. So here’s a concept: seize and simplify the things that ARE in your control, and work to make good choices within those spheres. If your spouse is the one having the affair and broke up your marriage, then what decisions can you make from now on that will simplify rather than “complexify” your life?

See my point? Not everything is fixable. You may have suffered a horrible trauma in your past or been buffered by the winds of fate and economic forces in the present. You might have picked a bad spouse or refused to take your kids out of public school even when they started hanging with the wrong crowd. But nothing prevents you from making good decisions about your future. That’s in your hands and you can blame no one but yourself if you keep making stupid decisions.

I feel rather passionately about this topic because stupidity is rampant in our society. It’s even encouraged and rewarded. For example, a vast majority of people who are poor are poor because of their lifestyle CHOICES. These include thinks like having babies out of wedlock (A CHOICE), dropping out of school (A CHOICE), doing drugs (A CHOICE), marrying a bad person (A CHOICE), etc.

Lots of people are temporarily down on their luck because of circumstances beyond their control (medical bills, lost job, etc.), but these are usually people who will get back on their feet within a reasonable amount of time. And outside of their present difficulties, their lives may be admirably simple.

But it’s the people who make bad choices, again and again, who have the most complicated lives. These are the people who marry multiple times, father children out of wedlock, abuse a variety of substances, and then wonder why my husband and I are so “lucky” to have a simple life.

Look, we all hit speed bumps in the road of life. We all make mistakes. Everyone is a sinner. No one is immune. No one is perfect. It’s how you handle the big and small choices and decisions before and after those bumps that will determine how simple or complex your life will turn out.

The cheery news is simplicity is within virtually everyone’s grasp. A few attitude adjustments and changes in one’s behavior can go a long way toward making your complicated life a lot simpler.

Write and tell me what those things are. I’m always interested.

Can you find the baby?

A reader sent this. Can you find the baby in this picture?

A ball of water in your hand.....

Here's a fascinating photo taken the instant a water balloon burst.

Whoever took this shot is an amazingly lucky photographer!

Random pix

Contrail in front of the moon:

Interesting set of evening contrails:

Morning clouds:

Portrait of Major and Lydia:

Chicken pix...

Since we now have a completed canning closet, I finally had a chance to take my excess canning jars out of the barn and get them inventoried and stored in the house.  - only to find chickens using them as roosts.

Oh well, nothing a little soap and water won't fix.

The frost is on the pumpkin....

Last week someone had tied a pretty fall diorama near the neighborhood mailboxes.  This week the unknown decorator put up a new display, and turned his or her hand toward poetry:

Perhaps it's not Keats, but it sure was delightful.

Ten Commandments and Congress

The other day in Spokane, I saw this sign outside a business:

And it got me thinking - what would the Ten Commandments look like if ran through Congress?  Send me your best shots.  You don't have to do all ten, just the ones you want... but your ideas should be interesting!

The importance of using a pressure canner

In the comments section of my last post on the canning closet, someone asked about how folks canned low-acid foods in the past without a pressure canner.  My guess is, they didn't.  Or if they did, they faced the very real possibility of poisoning themselves with botulism because of improperly canned food.

I decided to address this issue in a separate post rather than burying my answer in the comments section, because it's so important.

If you're interested in learning to can, please remember this: NEVER EVER EVER CAN LOW-ACID FOODS WITHOUT A PRESSURE CANNER.  Boiling-bath methods DO NOT KILL THE MICRO-ORGANISMS in low-acid foods.  I'm serious about this, folks.

Some people swear that their grannies never used a pressure canner and only used a boiling-bath to can meats, veggies, etc.  Well, granny must have been blamed lucky she didn't kill her family using that technique.

A small anecdote: early on in my canning days, shortly after my husband and I got married, I decided to can up a favorite dish of mine: chicken in homemade barbecue sauce. I followed all the steps and canned two 18-pint batches (my canner holds 18 pints at a time) for a total of 36 jars.

I was so proud of myself! Here were all these gleaming jars of chicken and BBQ sauce. I didn't need to refrigerate them - I could store them on a shelf at room temperature. It was a novel and wonderful concept.

It's worth noting that in those days I stored my jars with the rings still on because I naively thought the rings were necessary to keep the lids tight. They're not, of course.

A week late I decided to open a jar and have the contents for lunch. When I looked at the shelf that had my canned chicken on it, I gave a cry of dismay.

Every lid - every single lid on my 36 jars of chicken in BBQ sauce - was bulging. I had evidently done something wrong.  The lids hadn't sealed properly and the food was contaminated. Since the jars had rings on, the lids couldn't pop off - but they would have if the rings weren't holding the lids in place.

It broke my heart, but I threw out the contents of all those jars. It also taught me an important lessons: pressure requirements and processing times are in place for a reason. Shortly thereafter I bought my beloved canning bible, Putting Food By, and have seldom had a failure since.

I taught myself to use a pressure canner simply by following the directions that came with the canner.  Anyone can teach themselves to can simply by following directions and not skipping any of the safety steps.  Alternately, your local County Extension Service usually has classes or at least individuals who can teach you to use a pressure canner.

There's nothing mysterious about using a pressure canner, it's just a matter of keeping an eye on the pressure gauge (I highly recommend a kitchen timer to clip to your collar so you'll remember to check the pressure every five minutes or so).

But whatever you do, do NOT think you can escape using a pressure canner if you're serious about preserving foods.  All meats, vegetables, and most sauces, etc., are low-acid and need to be pressure canned.

A reader pointed out a distinction I should address: a pressure CANNER is not the same thing as a pressure COOKER.  I've never used a pressure cooker so I can't speak with authority on those, but I do know they're not the same thing and cannot be used interchangeably.  A canner has a gauge which gives you the accurate buildup of pressure in the canner.  Not sure about what gizmos a pressure cooker has.

I'll try to answer questions about canning in the comments to this post, but please don't try to convince me (or worse, any novice canners reading this) that boiling-bath methods are safe for low-acid foods - because THAT IS INCORRECT.

Okay, taking a deep breath and stepping off my soap box....

My canning closet is complete!

Some of you may remember from a long time ago that we had plans to turn an unused bathroom into a canning closet.  I'm thrilled to report that it's done!

This project goes back to last spring.  At that time, my husband noted the extensive unrest going on in the world at that moment: North Korea, Afghanistan, riots in Greece, bank failures, European unrest, the BP oil spill. He paused, then added, “A canning closet is a very good idea.”

So anyway, last March I assembled all my canning paraphernalia into the bathroom, but since the non-working facilities were still in place (shower stall, toilet, sink), I had to work around them.

In mid-June, we emptied the bathroom of all my canning supplies once again...

...and Don stripped out the shower stall, sink, and toilet.

Then our home business started getting busy for the summer, so once again all the canning stuff and food buckets were moved back into the now-stripped-out bathroom to wait for our slow season.

Now that our business has slowed down, Don has worked hard to finally turn this space into a proper canning closet.

Last June we were given two enormous and beefy shelving units by a new neighbor who was cleaning out some unneeded stuff from a shop building.

We disassembled the units and brought them home, where they stayed in the barn all summer.

Now we started installing the shelf boards into the room.

First shelf:

Second...

Third and fourth shelves.

Don secured the shelves tight enough to support an adult's weight.  (He says they remind him of the bunks during his Navy days.)

We also installed a slimmer, more colorful shelving unit on the opposite wall.

Next step: the laborious transferring of all the canned goods that were temporarily stored in Younger Daughter's closet (this is just a fraction of what was stored there).  She says this blog post should be titled "Hallelujah!" because now she has her closet back.

We piled all the jars up, waiting for me to inventory and sort.  This is nowhere near all the jars I have canned.

It took several hours, but eventually all the jars were inventoried and organized.  We still have to install thin removable brackets across the front of each shelf in case of earthquake.

With the two sets of shelving units, the little canning closet is crowded with not much room to move around.  But it holds a staggering number of jars!  Rough count, 265 quarts and 450 pints of fruits, vegetables, meats, stews, sauces, etc.

I can't keep out of it.  I'll stand in the doorway and just admire.  Or sit on the stepstool and marvel.  I tweak and fiddle and rearrange.  It is truly - truly - a place of beauty.

And it's all due to my husband's hard work and ingenuity.

"Don't you realize you cannot make your own heart beat?"

Here's an amazing clip sent by a friend of a woman giving a talk to a French audience (in English - French subtitles).  She is a survivor of a botched saline abortion.  It's a long clip - 15 minutes - and I started out watching it dutifully.  I ended up riveted.

UPDATE:  So sorry!  I forgot to include the hyperlink.  It's in place now.

Traditional idiot housewives

Here's an interesting article.  Apparently Bill Maher - whom I've never heard on TV because we don't get television reception - went on a "disgustingly filthy diatribe against “white men” and the type of women they like."  Gee, um, what kind of women can that be?

"He pompously posited," notes writer Patrick Dorinson, "that white men like these women saying, 'my theory is that these women represent something those men miss dearly: the traditional idiot housewife.'"

Oh, got it.  White men like traditional idiot housewives.

Apparently never at a loss for words, Mr. Dorinson came to the defense of us "idiot" housewives by visiting some hardworking women here in Idaho.

I thought this was a spiffy testimony to ALL the "idiot" housewives out there, the ones working their fannies off with their husbands to raise their kids, run a household, and make ends meet.

Let's hear it for Mr. Dorinson.

Ridiculous packaging

Pet peeve time.

I don't believe I have a lot in common with your average "green" tree-hugging liberal.  But there IS one thing about which I agree with them: their gripe against excessive packaging on everyday items.

This week we received two packages of pre-cooked bacon from our local food drive.  ( As I've explained before, we're one of the "cleanup" families for the food distribution. If they have leftovers, they call us.)  Anyway, we received two boxes of Oscar Mayer "100% real" bacon.

I was making biscuits and gravy for breakfast the other morning, so I decided to open up a box of this pre-packaged stuff to add to the gravy.

There were 12 small slices of bacon in this box, layered with waxed paper.  Needless to say, the real item didn't have even a fraction of the heartiness and volume promised on the cover photo.  Whatever.

For twelve small slices (barely enough to flavor the gravy, by the way), I had to contend with a box, the waxed paper, and the plastic container and lid.

I burned the box and paper in our woodstove (our standard procedure for all burnable garbage during cooler months), but this plastic container and lid remain.  I've put them in the recycling bag in hopes our limited recycling options in Coeur d'Alene can handle the weird #7 plastic from which this packaging was made.  If they can't, into the trash it goes.

C'mon, folks - is it really necessary to have this level of packaging on twelve little bitty slices of pre-cooked bacon?  Don't get me wrong, the bacon was fine; but remember, it was given to us.  Who in their right mind would actually buy this stuff?  There's no way I would ever spend money on this kind of thing because it bugs me when something so ephemeral has so much packaging - which, incidentally, will last, oh, thousands of years.

Needless to say, this is the most minor of examples about ridiculous product packaging.  We are such a throwaway society that sometimes it sickens me.

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now.