Friday, July 18, 2014

Farm hazards

Many people think living on a farm is a piece of cake. We don't have to worry about getting hit by a bus or many other urban hazards. Eh, what could possibly go WRONG?

To denude you of that naïve notion, I'd like to offer this humble collection of everyday hazards we face on the farm.

The hazards of rolling off a log (especially if your brain is the size of a pea).

The hazards of stepping on a swallow nestling just after it's flown the coop but who hasn't yet mastered the art of getting out of the way.

The hazards of stained hands from strawberry juice.

The hazards of being born a bull calf...

...because you end up a steer calf.

The hazards of trying to drive anywhere spontaneously.

The hazards of unintentionally "distressed" clothing.

The hazards of navigating the kitchen during the busy season.

The hazards of a sore back from leaning over to pick fifteen pounds of strawberries. (No kidding on this one.)

The hazards of finding a neat bodyprint of sawdust on every piece of furniture.

The hazards of looking out a window and seeing the back end of a cow who isn't supposed to be there.

The hazards of finding said naughty cow where she's not supposed to be.

The hazards of snakes getting caught in the bird netting.

The hazards of being thiiiiiis close to stepping on an unexpected clutch of eggs.

The hazards of really, really fresh chicken poop. On the porch. Right in front of the door.

The hazards of a lack of privacy. "Do you MIND?"

The hazards of arm strain from hoisting giganto-strawberries.

The hazards of the lack of visibility from the front windows due to excessive Virginia Creeper-itis.

The hazards of wearing a four-inch thick fur coat when it's 98F.

The hazards of finding a mini-creepy-crawly on a strawberry.

The hazards of assuming a cow patty was dry. (It wasn't.)

The hazards of thistles among the strawberry plants. Ouch!

The hazards of dropping a whole bowl of strawberries. (I wish this photo was staged, but it wasn't.)

This concludes our tour of common farm hazards. On the whole, I think I prefer these hazards to what my life used to be like.


  1. Loved the photos of your "hazards"!!! I still say even with the hazards it's a great life and I bet you would agree...:))) Great post...I really enjoyed it!!

  2. And let us never forget....

    the hazard of stepping on a board with a nail in it and having it go through your shoe.....


    Great post. You poor pitiful things, you. ;) How do you cope with all those dangerously huge strawberries and ferocious baby birdlings?

    And how, I ask you, can you face each day knowing Matilda might look at you in that way? How did you maintain your composure enough to even take that picture?

    It was the body print in sawdust that resonated most with me. I'm there.

    Farm life is and always was a mite hazardly, and you've captured the best nature of it in a truly delightful way.

    A. McSp

  3. Oh the days of stepping in cow patties, what memories of that fresh aroma and washing toes out because you forgot you had a hole in one of your boots....

    1. Actually in this particular instance I was wearing sandals.

      - Patrice

  4. Brings back many fond memories.


  5. My hazard of the day... filling a gallon zip lock bag with frozen raspberries and plopping it in the chest freezer, only to discover the zip lock didn't lock and having to unload half the freezer to retrieve the raspberries.

  6. I think you're recruiting again, dear one. ;-)

    Seriously, I hope there isn't anyone out there who does not realize that living with REAL Nature from day to day can be hazardous (rattlesnakes in the strawberry netting, other things that happen at the back end of a cow).

    Still, especially after two years in the 'burbs-- sign me up for a tour of the hazards of farm life!!

  7. And let's not forget the hazard of the family sitting down together for supper at the end of the day! Oh, the perils! :)

  8. The Cow patty hits home with me today- Unfortunately it wasn't me who found out it was not dry, it was my 2yo daughter who went for a slide in it. Gross, lol!


    Came across this article today too and thought it matched yours. Happy reading.