Thursday, June 4, 2009

Christian one-liners

• Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

• Some people are kind, polite and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

• Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.

• It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

• The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

• When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

• People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

• Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

• Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

• If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.

• God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?

• Some minds are like concrete -- thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

• Peace starts with a smile.

• I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

• A lot of church members who are singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just sitting on the premises.

• We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

• Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.

• Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

• Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

• Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

• Forbidden fruits create many jams.

• God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

• God grades on the cross, not the curve.

• God loves everyone, but probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'

• God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

• He who angers you, controls you!

• If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!

• Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!

• The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.

• The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.

• We don't change the message, the message changes us.

• You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

• The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.


  1. Made a point to pass this on to EVERYONE in my contact list.

  2. Great Stuff :)
    Ive seen a few of those on church signs.
    Ive also seen these......
    CH_ _ CH whats missing U R
    How do we get the holy water? We boil the hell out of it.
    During summer here in Georgia sign read "you think its hot now?"
    God allows U Turns sign past a church