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Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Mission: Impossible

Now that the weather has cleared and Snoqualmie Pass is passable (on a dependent basis, that is), Older Daughter is progressing toward obtaining a nanny position in the Seattle area. Yesterday she had a phone interview with a respectable placement agency, which termed her résumé "impressive" and basically said she could have any job she wished. Next week, she'll likely be heading west to interview in person with both the agency and with a prospective employer.

In the midst of these plans and arrangements, Don found a hilarious "help wanted" ad for a nanny profiled on The Chive. (Warning: Some inappropriate language.)

It seems a single female CEO with twin ten-year-olds is in need of some household help. At first the requirements seem fairly straightforward.


But as the old saying goes, "But wait -- there's more!" Dig deeper into the requirements and they get weirder and weirder, bordering on creepy. ("Has room in their heart to love the kids and the mom" "willing to work out together in the home gym with the mom...")



Go read the entire job description. It's jaw-dropping. Essentially the nanny must be an Olympic athlete in several different sports, a computer whiz, a vegan gourmet chef, a college professor, a CPA, an in-house Human Resources manager, a Ph.D. in psychology, fluent in several languages, and be "civil-rights oriented." Oh, and she has to like kids too.

Of course a single female CEO with ten-year-old twins is going to need some household help. I get that. But I genuinely wish her the very best of luck finding a suitable candidate. To me, this sounds like Mission: Impossible.


11 comments:

  1. Wouldn't be easier and more satisfying for mom to stay home? Quit jockeying with the big boys to prove ya have a pair too.

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    1. My thoughts are parallel to Cerderq's

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  2. And I'd bet that they are willing to pay up to $15 per hour for the qualified candidate.

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  3. She wants an attentive Mom, for herself and the kids.

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  4. Here in the U P of Michigan we have a hard time finding anyone to shove snow off of the roof. Or mow the yard or paint the fence. I can't imagine getting anyone to fill that job. But that's California and nothing there surprises me anymore.---ken

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  5. She’s not looking for a person. She’s looking for a committee.

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  6. I did a stint as a nanny. This was the woman's g-kids. ventually she added outside dogs to my chores, knowing I do not like dogs, actually afraid and allergic. She would have me come just to wash dishes, but then wanted me to sweep, mop, and vacuum. Then, she wanted me to wash, dry, and hang wet clothes from the dryer, and for her to lie under covers while I dragged all her clothes from the closet in her room so she could decide what to do with her clotes, keep or donate. I declined. if I did what she wanted me to do, I would have no time for kids. I suggested she get someone to clean the nasty house! I could go on and on. She had 3-and 4-yo children that she had not toilet trained. I had to do that!

    I made it clear what I could and could not do, what I would and would not do, yet she pushed every boundary.

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  7. How does 'Mom's" job description read? And Dad's? Oh wait...

    Home is where her 'Trophies' are.

    Montana Guy

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  8. she really wants a husband

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  9. Re. Snoqualmie Pass
    You and Don must be relieved to know that at least Older Daughter can now SNOWSHOE home if she had to. Halleluiah!
    Montana Guy

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  10. This reminds me of a TV show I saw once; a similar woman had very high requirements for a personal assistant. Someone was trying to kill her, so the FBI slipped an agent in as her new assistant. The only way they could do the job was to have the whole field office support her.

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