Country Living Series

Monday, May 11, 2009

Ten Reasons Why I Voted Democrat

Sure wish I knew who wrote this…

1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

3. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

4. I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

5. I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

6. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

7. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

8. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

10. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
-- William F. Carling

"The problem with Socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money."
-- Margaret Thatcher

14 comments:

  1. Pure Genius, I'm gonna post it on twitter!
    DJ

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  2. Now then, if you just have an unmarried sister that believes as you do . . . . . .

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  3. Great!!! Mind if I put it on Gretawire?!

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  4. haha. Nicely done.

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  5. Patrice, I would love to use this on my blog, with proper attribution, of course.

    mail@policalc.com (please remove the email address when you approve the comment)

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  6. I'm that bored, so, I'll post a response:

    1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

    I love how this always comes up. Most claim, "if two men or two women are allowed to marry, what's to stop me from marrying a child, or a tortoise, or a monkey!?" The law. See, this country was founded on the principle of individual rights. And they grow, ever so much, since the day this country was founded. 200 years ago, a black man couldn't be a free man. 100 years ago, a woman couldn't vote, she had no ability to excercise her voice (much as you are doing now). 50 years ago, a black man couldn't marry a white woman. Take any argument against the concept of two people of the same gender wanting to get married and replace them with "interracial couple", it sounds hauntingly familiar. Homosexual couples simply want the same legal rights as anyone else in this country does.

    And the law doesn't support the concept of marrying animals or children, or even multiple wives. Where do you people keep getting this idea? Oh that's right, one of you screams it, then the rest follow suit. Well, to the originator, they fail to present one crucial thing to an argument: The argument. I ask of you, "....just how does that come about?" And they reply, "IT JUST WILL! YOU'LL SEE!"

    Uh huh...


    2. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

    If you bother to read this, it does a better job explaining money than I ever could:

    http://www.factcheck.org/askfactcheck/does_the_government_really_make_more_in.html

    In short:

    +Federal taxes are a flat 18.4 cents per gallon of regular gasoline, no matter the price at the pump.

    +State taxes range anywhere from 7.5 cents to 34 cents per gallon

    +And on top of that, the oil industry points to additional taxes and fees, such as sales taxes and inspection and environmental fees, that drive up the state-local fees to as much as 45.5 cents per gallon (in California)

    +Another complicating factor is that the percentages change from month to month, sometimes dramatically. State and federal excise taxes are generally fixed at a certain number of pennies per gallon, so as the price of gasoline rises, the percentage paid in excise taxes goes down.

    "So, to the question of whether motorists pay more per gallon to the government than to oil-company profits, we can say only this: The answer depends on the state in which the fuel is purchased, the company that produced it and sold it, and when the motorist bought it."

    That statement isn't an argument against the Democratic party, it's a statement of, "I HATE PAYING TAXES, BOTH STATE AND FEDERAL."

    3. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

    You drive anywhere? Use that road? Or when you walk, use that sidewalk? Or those traffic lights? How about those phones you call your friends and family on? Those are all federally funded programs. You pay taxes to better the people as a whole. You're a part of society, contributing is a part of that. Instead of doing something small, you let people that you elect come into play and have them make decisions, Democrat and Republican alike.

    4. I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

    The Freedom of Speech is not to be construed with Hate Speech. Me saying "Fuck you" is not the same as saying "FIRE!" in a crowded movie theater. People can die if I do the latter. Everyone is always offended by something you say, much as I'm sure you're offended by my responses to this copy & pasted list.

    5. I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

    The immediate response most have to this, "WELL WE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" And this is true, however, it doesn't address the point. I don't think anyone has the idea of, "Well, if we pull out, it'll go back to being the land of puppy dogs and rainbows." If they do, you shouldn't be listening to them anyway, regardless of their political affiliation. HOWEVER, it is our fault that that country has lowered itself down to what could be called tribal warefare. The previous administration had documented evidence that removing Saddam Hussein from power would cause such an action (this actually came from the director of the CIA during the time of President H. W. Bush). So we wish to train the people to defend themselves, however, this is no clean exit stradegy, nor was there ever. I don't envy the man who has to make the decision of what the final move is.

    6. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

    Democrats don't want to take away your guns. It's in the Constitution, the ones that people should hold dearly, #2: The Right to Bear Arms. However, in the interest of trying to reduce the overall number of deaths, we passed an Assault Weapons Ban (During the Clinton administration that had a time limit for renewal that expired during President Bush's administration), as the only purpose for using an assault weapon is to deliver the most number of bullets as quickly as possible at a target. Yes, you want to go shoot an AK-47, fine. However, the second someone robs a bank with it, and manages to gun down 20 people waiting in line over the course of six seconds, well, that could've been easily prevented had someone actually not let that person acquire the gun at their pawn shop. Now yes, you can't stop them all, however, you can thin out the numbers of this possibly occuring. You won't get an all or nothing, but if you get it to an extremely small number (which would be hard to do at this point since the ban expired), you're making progress.

    You want to protect yourself from murderers and thieves, and you need a gun? Let's review the alternatives:
    A) Mace (not the physical, but the chemical, though it would be neat).
    B) Non-lethal bullets, such as the bean-bag gun (the types they use against disorderly rioters).
    C) Tazer.

    All VERY effective at stopping someone. Try those instead of ending a human life.

    7. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

    What? Weathermen control the polar ice caps? That's like saying the Mechanic controls the rate the oil comes out of the ground. Let's try it like this, maybe we'll get an argument:

    7b. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday happen to learn from the same people that are educating the researchers who determine the rate of melting of the Polar ice caps.

    Okay, now that makes a bit more sense. Under that argument, Weather is extremely hard to predict. It's a battle of statistics. They examine patterns in the atmosphere, concentrations of condensation, wind speeds, wind patterns, and attempt to match them know behavior. And you do math, and you say, "Well, it looks like there's going to be a 60 percent chance of rain." Why? Because that's how the numbers play out. So that's why the Weathermen aren't always right, because Math isn't always right (especially when dealing with percents). So what do these people have to do with the Ice caps melting? One's a statistician, and the other is a scientist. Now, they both typically follow scientific method, but the weatherman on Channel 9 couldn't really tell you much about the rate of increased Hydrocarbons in the air resulting in a degradation of the layer in the Earth known as the Ozone, preventing the escape of rays of light provided by the sun, thus bouncing back at the Earth and heating it proportionally. Or, maybe they could. I'm not a weatherman.

    8. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

    Damn, there's that whole picky thing of having that freedom of choice again. Here's the deal: Give up your right to vote, and your right to choose who you want to marry, and I'll put in a vote to Congress to make Abortions illegal.

    Now, we have limits on Abortions. Doctors will not perform the surgery past a certain time period of the fetus. And by legalizing it, you can now perform the surgery in a clean environment, reducing the chance of infection, and overall health of the woman. Just because you make it illegal doesn't mean it won't happen.

    I'm not pro-abortion, but I am for letting a woman decide to do with her body what she will.

    9. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

    Yes, but it's a matter of HOW they made the profits. If you make the profits by, say, oh, cornering the market and buying out all your competitors, denying anyone else from entering the market, then over pricing your items, thus resulting that YOU are the only one who can supply the masses at a HIGHLY INFLATED rate, then yes, there is a problem. You're a Good Ole' Fashioned Capitalist, right? You should let the Mom and Pop shops enter the business, yes, if we don't have anti-trust laws in the books, places like Kroger and Walmart would dominate.

    10. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

    .....this is ALMOST the pot calling the kettle black. Who rewrites the constitution every few days? OH, I see, I think you're talking about the judicial system, where if someone has a problem with a law, they take it to the courts and have people who are supposed to be impartial examine the law, and determine if it needs to be changed. And if there is the feeling that the judge wasn't impartial, then we take it to a higher court, until we take it to the highest court in the land! Oh darn, who would want a fair and balanced court system that looks at problems in their legal environment, and opts to change them as needed. How's that right to vote going along? Or that ability to marry who you want? Or, that one that says people just can't come up to your house and walk in without your permission, you enjoy that too? Laws aren't static for a reason, it's because times change.

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  7. Postings like this are why you're on my newsfeed

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  8. I Voted Democrat and I'm very happy with my choice

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  9. I voted republican because I like earning my way and not depending on someone else to earn it for me, while I sit back an whine about how hard my life is and how everyone else just wouldn't understand.

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