Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The NEW and IMPROVED Ten Commandments!

I saw a link to this list - it looks like a forum on the Sean Hannity show.

The New Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments are obsolete. They're just not relevant any more. They're just so ... OLD! After all, this is the 21st century! We've got to keep up with the times! We're already being told to do all of these things. So, to help you remember them so you can obey them, to make sure that everyone fits in, here are your NEW Ten Commandments:

1. Government is almighty. You shall put no other allegiance before government. Your religion, your marriage, your family, your business, your friends and your neighbors - all of your relationships shall be regulated by government.

2. Images are encouraged. You shall worship as many celebrities as you can. (Except any who question any of these Ten Commandments. The celebrityhood of anyone who questions the government is automatically revoked.) Pop culture is what gives meaning to life. Celebrities in all fields shall be worshipped. Celebrities in movies, television, music, sports, fashion, and any other mass media shall be imitated as much as possible. Your clothing, your speech, your behavior, and your thinking shall be patterned after everyone the media tells you is popular.

3. Government is holy. You shall not take the name of government in vain. You shall not criticize the government. Government has perfect wisdom. Government knows what is best for you in every area of life. You shall never do anything of your own initiative. You shall never do anything without first asking for permission from the government. You shall not question the government. Government is holy. Government is to be always obeyed, never criticized.

4. You shall observe the union. Union rules are holy. You shall do no work not allocated to you by the union. You shall perform no task allocated to another person. You shall not work any more than the union rules permit. If you are not in a union, you shall join one immediately.

5. You shall disregard your father and mother. They are OLD! They are obsolete! You shall think and act as you are told to by your government school. You shall not have sympathy for your parents just because they feed and clothe and house you. The food, clothing, and shelter were first allocated to them by government! You shall put government first in all you think and do.

6. You shall kill only infants. They are only a piece of tissue. They cannot think or act or produce. You shall not kill as a punishment for any crime. You shall have mercy on "criminals." They are not guilty. They are only misunderstood. They are only replaying all the injustice that was inflicted on them by the old, unenlightened people of the past.

7. You shall hook up with anyone you feel like. Sexual urges are powerful! Who are you to deny what your flesh demands? It is a cruel sin to expect anyone to resist anything that feels so good! Fear no potential result of hooking up, for the government will provide everything you need - food, health care, child care, or an abortion if you're just not into babies.

8. You shall not steal. Everything belongs to The People. You shall not hold anything back for yourself. You shall not keep for yourself any of the fruit of your labor. It belongs to The People. "From each according to their ability, to each according to their need." The government will determine what you need. The government will distribute everything you need. You shall always serve The People! Never yourself!

9. You shall not bear witness. The government will determine what the truth is. The media will tell you what the truth is. You shall not believe anything you see, or experience for yourself. You shall believe what the government and media tell you to. Believe what you are told, not what you see.

10. You shall covet. You shall desire everything everyone else has - their house, their car, their clothes, their comforts. Everyone should have the same! Nobody is entitled to have anything better than anyone else. Except, of course, the government. Government is the ultimate good! People who serve the government deserve to have the best of everything!


  1. Wow I like this post! It is so to the point. But considering I'm OLD I think I will stick to "OLD" things ....I know they WORK .....

  2. Wow, funny but sad... and sadly true for many!