A couple of weeks ago, we made arrangements for some people to come over and see us about something. We had never met this couple before, but we spoke to them on the phone and they seemed pleasant enough. We confirmed our location and they told us they would be here at noon. They live about half an hour's drive away.
.jpg)
Accordingly, we cleaned the house and bathroom, tidied the yard, and (most importantly) put aside any additional plans we might have had for the afternoon.
Noon came and went, and they didn't show up.
We were in something of a state of limbo while we waited. We had a number of things we could have been doing, but those things entailed messing up the kitchen or disappearing into the shop or otherwise not being in immediate readiness for when this couple arrived.
One o'clock came and went, and still we waited.
Two o'clock came around and they still hadn't shown up. Don was absolutely fuming. If there's one thing that ticks him off, it's people who are late or who don't arrive when they tell us they'll be here unless they let us know they're running late for some reason. (Hey, things happen. We understand. Just let us know.)
So a bit after two o'clock, I called and reached the wife and asked if they were still planning on coming. "Of course!" she said. "We're almost ready to leave."
Almost ready to leave. And they live half an hour away.
So we sat tight and waited. Three o'clock came and went and they still hadn't shown up. So I called again. "We're just heading out the door," the wife assured me. "We just have a few stops to make along the way first."
A few stops to make along the way. After they assured us they would be here at noon.
Four o'clock rolls around, and they finally arrived. No apologies for the delay, no regrets about wasting our entire afternoon waiting for them. Just a breezy politeness as we transacted the reason for their being here in the first place.
We were polite. They were pleasant. But after they left, Don had absolutely no interest in ever seeing them again.
What is it about people's inability to value someone else's time?
AMEN!! People like that have no place in my life.
ReplyDeleteI would of course be fuming.
ReplyDeleteOn another note I would like to tap into your knowledge of birds. I have read in your column about the arrival of Robins. We always anticipate their arrival knowing that spring is not far behind. I live in N ID , and the other day my husband noticed a robin and stated, "what is that robin doing here". Well this morning we have witnessed 3 more, and of course it is late November. Don't they fly elsewhere during this time?
Yes, they would normally be gone this time of year. I was surprised to see a couple around our place as well, long past when they normally would have migrated. But according to the website linked below, it's nothing unusual.
Deletehttps://www.allaboutbirds.org/news/is-it-unusual-to-see-american-robins-in-the-middle-of-winter/
- Patrice
Thank you.
DeleteAround 2:30 I would have texted them to reschedule.
ReplyDeleteI guess some people are rude.
As far as I'm concerned, if you're not 5 minutes early, you're late.
ReplyDeleteYes! 10 Minutes early is on time in my book. KinCa
DeleteBecause they did not suffer any consequences for their lack of respect to you and others so they fell into a long established pattern of abusing others generosity and valuable time. Very narcissistic behavior. You would do well to ignore and set them away before you are trapped into their mental illness.
ReplyDeleteMy sentiments are exactly the same!! Selfish and oblivious!
ReplyDeleteIt’s called entitlement. Your inconvenience probably never crossed their minds.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that is my biggest pet peeve! People think they are more important than you with this type of action. Because you two don't "work," you can wait on them.
ReplyDeleteI would be absolutely furious. What inconsiderate behavior.
ReplyDeleteBy about 1PM, I'd have gone about my business. If they showed up later, they can wait for me to finish what I had gotten involved with when tired of waiting for them. Of course, much depends on what business y'all had together.
ReplyDeleteI have a very good friend who is the same way. He's coming over to visit? At the time he's expected, he's about on his way! Now I just lie. If I want him here at 3, I tell him 1. Tiresome as anything.
ReplyDeleteMy in-laws are this way, always have been. We always allow them to schedule times, and every time they come to visit they are always at least 1-3 hours late, usually closer to the 2-3 hour mark; it's almost miraculous when they show up just 30 minutes to an hour late. When they host holiday or birthday events at their house, they always order in pizza, and give people a set time when the food will be there, so that is when we are supposed to show up. Without fail every time we show up at the set time, the food isn't even ordered and often isn't for another 30-60 minutes. Even when we do potluck style, eating is put off at least an hour or two, which gets everyone frustrated. It's very hard with scheduling because you always have to leave the entire day open to deal with things like this, literally zero consideration for anyone else's schedules, which is brutal for those who are working jobs or school schedules. But when it comes to friends, if a person is habitually late, I will just cut ties with them, I cannot deal with people who just don't care about others feelings, and I am one of those people who will do the same to people who are habitually super early. I have no problem when people show up 5-15 minutes early once in a while, but I can't stand when people show up 30 minutes to an hour early. If I am running ahead of schedule and plan to meet up with someone, I just kill time doing something else to fill up time, I would never just show up early and inconvenience them.
ReplyDeleteBut we've had problems trying to sell stuff in the past too. You end up setting up a time in the middle of the day or afternoon to accommodate their schedule, and then they either show up hours late or not at all and then contact you the next day wanting to reschedule. If a person cannot show up at a set time, and do not call with an actual excuse, then I just won't deal with them. Over the years I've just got to the point where I value my time over other people's inconsideration.
Your inlaws are simply bad hosts. My sister used to drive me crazy when she hosted holidays, because she never puts her guests first. That is, if her daughter wants to watch some ghastly TV show in the living room, hey it's her house, you guests can sit on hard dining chairs. Can we compromise on meal times because I have a two hour drive back? Nope. Any snacks put out while we wait for dinner to be late as always not to mention cold? Nuh uh. I stopped banging my head against the wall and now I don't go to her for holidays. Meanwhile, everyone thinks I'm a good hostess. Plenty of nibbles and drinks, the meal is actually hot when served, and guests can do what they want. My father wants to plop himself down in front of his favorite TV? (He really loved the picture on that TV, go figure.) Fine, can I build a fire for you, Dad.
DeleteDownright inconsiderate and rude.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people are from a different culture where time has a different meaning, so there's that to consider. :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes people are from a different culture where time has a different meaning, so there's that to consider. :)
ReplyDeleteMake up a reason you are only available between a set of times and stick to it. If they show later, conduct business quickly and show them you are needing to finish up or make it to another appointment or chores before dark - parameters. Don't feel rude. If they show on time and all is going well, then make an exception to keep visiting. It's hard, but harder to go through what you did, since it is still bugging you enough to write about it.
ReplyDeleteNothing I hate more than people that have no respect for my time. Don and I would be good friends
ReplyDelete