Country Living Series

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Men giving up on women

Here's my WND column for this weekend, entitled Men Giving Up On Women (and the Women Who Hate Them).


I must say this topic certainly sparked a lively debate. As of Sunday morning, there were over 200 comments. Example:

Silver wedding anniversary, eh? Tell you what, Partrice: your youngest will be successfully out of the home in another few years. If you haven't divorced your husband and cleaned him out financially in - say - five years from now, then maybe the MGTOW community might spare a moment to listen to you.

Do let us know how it went.

Of course, the other possibility is that your spinster daughters, crippled with student loan and credit card debt, will never leave home and that you and your husband will be supporting them and their fatherless sprogs for the rest of your lives. That's another fate the MGTOW avoids.

37 comments:

  1. Perhaps the "woman" of the title should be "women?"

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    1. Excellent point, thank you. I've requested a correction.

      - Patrice

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    2. Oops, my bad, for a sec I thought the typo was in the column itself. I've corrected the title on the blog post. Thanks!

      - Patrice

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  2. Excellent article. Perhaps if we still adhered to God's creative complimentary way, we wouldn't be so pitted against each other. In the workplace, we're expected (ie laws/lawsuits) to "pretend" we are all androgynous, which stands against human nature. So we're all confused anyway ;)

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  3. Had to stop reading comments. If I could reach through the screen and throttle that guy(on don's behalf of course) I would.

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  4. Never underestimate the damage done by the birth control pill. It fueled the sexual revolution which played a large part in the demise of America.
    Montana Guy

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    1. Don't want to stir up a hornets nest, but the Pope declared that is what would happen. You are right, he was right, it did spawn a digusting downward spiral, making God's gift to married couples something cheap and tawdry. It hurt both sexes.

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    2. And we can chalk up another "victory" for the PC liberal progressives! --Fred in AZ

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  5. the damage was done by rampant sin which is to be seen everywhere not just in sexual matters.
    corruption in government,in industry which has always existed but seems to have spread into everything,not just existing as isolated pockets.
    there has been some form of birth control throughout history in many places but none so reliable nor so injurious to health as the 'pill'.
    it is the overarching selfishness and greed at the root of it all.
    as in 'the screwtape letters' there are teeming masses of sinners, but as screwtape said, none are great sinners; they are all tasteless pablum.

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    1. I must disagree about the pill being the worst. I say abortion is the most injurious and reliable to spiritual and physical health. What is worse than killing a child?

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    2. I totally agree, Tewshooz! --Fred in AZ

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    3. The pill is the false premise, Tewshooz. Like the lie in the garden - you will be like gods.

      Abortion is a natural followup of a "failed" pill. In older times, folks wouldn't be so eager to engage in behavior that resulted in pregnancy....despite hormones etc. Now, there is the increased belief that one can do what one wants with no consequences.

      With the pill, folks rush into doing that which makes babies with the specific intent of not having a baby. That in itself increases the potential for unwanted babies and abortion is the next step to avoid natural consequences. After all, it was only the sex that was considered at the beginning, not the potential for human life.

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    4. Tewshooz - I used to think killing a child was the worst thing that could happen. But having worked with child abuse survivors, I think there are worse things. Much worse.

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  6. My daughter is 40 and is engaged and after a year of courtship/engagement will be married. It can and does happen for those who wait for the Lord. As lonely as she was while she waited, it was worth it.
    It won't be about the "wedding" she's always dreamt of and that's not what they spend their hours together planning. It is about marriage and that is what they are working on during this time of waiting.
    I wish I had her wisdom and strength, as I didn't do things in the proper order and reaped all the pain that goes with having done so. I'm ever so thankful of the Lord's mercy and saving grace.
    Blessings to you and yours,
    sidetracksusie

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  7. You're right. It is sad. That's the best word I know.

    It hurts everyone. As a faithful married woman, I can't ask for (never mind firmly stand up for) my own personhood without being labelled a feminazi who's trying to take me to the cleaners. My FIL used to advise him, no matter what I did, to "get her before she gets you."

    At the end, we have two good, faithful people who wanted to do right by each other. She's shattered and broken and resentful and will honor her vow to be faithful until death even though she has panic attacks at the mere thought of asking for any thing or stating a preference, can't forgive him, and doesn't love him any more. He, too, will honor his vow, even though he's tired of living with a broken shell, doesn't understand why she allowed herself to be destroyed, and doesn't love her any more.

    Thanks, feminism. Thanks so much.

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    1. But feminists won't blame the woman. They'll blame the man. It's always the man's fault. --Fred in AZ

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  8. "Seventy percent of American males between the ages of 20 and 34 are not married..."
    And guess where violent extremists of all political stripes recruit first? Unmarried, underemployed young men.
    Nothing to lose + no prospects = an angry, reckless social time bomb.

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  9. Hey guess what? In my world after having met my husband twice
    we have been married 37 years, and our daughter has her
    associated degree, debt free. Go figured
    debby

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  10. My 30 year old son is one who has given up on women. I don't blame him.
    And whoever wrote that crap to you about your silver wedding anniversary. I'd like to throttle them! (But I forgive them, so the Good Lord will forgive me.)

    We celebrate 41 this year! It seems like only yesterday we were married (though our oldest is 33 and married).

    I heard on a local radio station of a couple celebrating 75 years! How wonderful!

    God bless you and yours, Patrice.

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  11. I'm not sure how much further down the 'turlit' society can go.

    Archie & Edith Bunker had some great lines in their theme song. "Those Were The Days ... didn't need no welfare state/cause everybody pulled their weight .... and you knew where you were then/girls were girls and men were men ... "

    With the removal of God from the public square .. and replaced with 'gods' (money, sexualization of EVERYTHING) a few generations of dysfunctional family life ... it's no wonder there is no basic order in society.

    Happily married for 35 years ... wife to one husband ... his helpmate, content at home, self taught, one family income, no debt, no college loans, paid off home and cars .. it can be done .. but only by and with God's grace.

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  12. Anon @ 2:05 - I'm not sure what you are trying to say. It seemed confusing for the most part. I do agree with your comment about being labeled a femnazi. I'm pretty traditional in my thoughts, beliefs and actions. However, I have found that when I speak up and have a opinion, some people take that to mean my husband doesn't have
    me in line and I'm being subservient. It is very frustrating to be a submissive wife but still be a autonomous human being at the same time. I've pretty much been living my life with God in mind. If I please Him, I care not what the world thinks anymore. You can't please everyone and really, if I am pleasing to God and my husband then no one else really matters.

    Ouida Gabriel

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  13. hmm haven't read your column yet, but last night at my daughters Graduation celebration 4 family members started giving her advice on life , marriage and career , all of which included huge student loans ,marrying late and few kids and right into daycare ," stay at home mothers ruin marriage " .....when my husband heard about it later from our daughter he said " they have 6 divorces and 3 bankruptsys among 'em " .

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  14. Oh let's elect that chief feminazi Hillary. Hope this works out for all our benefits! Gag!

    If this country is "stupid" enough to elect this pant suit windbag, well, we get what we deserve.

    We are helping to raise three granddaughters and a grandson. I will do my best to prevent them from traveling this wicked road paved by the left. Make no mistake folks, unless we do it ourselves no one else will. The public schools certainly will not, the universities will not, the media will not. Even FOX news has swallowed the "gay agenda" for the most part. Sad to say also, our churches have not been entirely helpful here either. But, I would need an entire book to cover why that is.

    Pray for America, Pray for her youth, Pray for another Great Awakening, Pray for us all! God is so patient and merciful. Afraid that will not be forever because He said His patience would not. Come Lord Jesus. Soon!

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  15. I'm sorry the men who wrote things like the example in this post have been either so hurt themselves, or taught that any woman will hurt them like this, but by hating all women like this, the result will be that even if they DO one day realise that not all women are the same, no woman with any self respect will want anything to do with them. sad times. These men who have already been hurt are making things worse for themselves with their unbalanced view of women.

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    1. ALL women are like that. There are no unicorns. You are all greedy, selfish, pigs. Nothing more.

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    2. its hard to consider it an unbalanced view of women, after you have lived with several and see the same basic pattern; they think that attacking and ragging is being assertive, and dont realize that its over time fatal to relationships with men..

      a runaway mouth leads to a run away husband, and he will be off looking for that holy grail of another woman who might be more pleasant... but instead of taking responsibility for what they caused with their flying mouth, the woman blames the man for running off with some other woman...

      he of course is being naive, and over time figures this out, which is why the mgtow movement is growing exponentially... millions of mgtows who have never heard the word mgtow yet...

      girls, clean up your acts and practice humility, or watch your world burn.

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  16. Poor man. He must have been and likely is still being hurt very deeply to trouble himself to write such a thing on your blog. I hope someday this individual comes to understand that it is not so much listening to you, Patrice, or any other individual. But rather folks should begin again to heed the message that is not invented (like so many other bad ideas), just passed down from the source of all Wisdom.

    God bless and prayers for that poor soul.

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  17. I know of three decent young men who have never married. i know for a fact that two of them are Christians.
    one of them told his mother that even in the church he could not find a moral young woman.
    After years of looking they all gave up.
    i hope that one day God will bring them each a decent partner.
    another two i know are each married for the second time to decent women, after the first wives were found in adultery while their husbands were at work, one of them working two jobs to meet his wife's demands for more income.
    one of them is married to a hard working lady who found her husband adulterating while she was at work.
    it seems to be the disease of the age we live in.

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    1. I know a few good men who remained bachelors until they were well into old age (60's and early 70's). They apparently didn't feel "safe" in marrying until the women they came in contact with had outgrown their self-destructive IDEA of feminism. That is, the women had finally figured out that being lone was not so great, that they had to behave as kind and caring HUMANS, and that they had to give up the selfish notion that self-love and mindless sex to make themselves feel good about themselves no longer "worked" if they wanted real men and true love.

      Our culture teaches women to want the bad boys not the good. It teaches us that sex is paramount to friendship and partnership -and even kids - in marriage; it teaches that self-absorption is better than self-sacrifice. That kind of feminism is anathema to what a Christian woman should be, and yet even Christian women have embraced radial feminism in droves during my time on earth.

      As a Baby Boomer in my mid-60's, it took me many years to grow up and realize that what the radical left propagated as "feminism" is everything but. True feminism is being proud of our female selves and our feminine qualities and it is acting on those qualities and being kind to our mates.

      I have two sons in their late twenties. One is married to a radial feminist-terrorist. I shudder at the nasty things she says to my son not only when they are alone but when in the company of other family members and friends. He has been almost completely emasculated after two years of marriage. But now part of the criticism is that he is not manly ENOUGH!

      The other is almost 30 and has been terrorized and jilted at least 4 times, and now he has given up on women and expresses the same hostile attitude your male commenter expressed even though my husband and I have a very loving relationship and have been married almost 30 years. He just doesn't see another woman in his future who will love him like his mom or love him as I love his dad.

      We have killed our ability to love and TRUST each other and to submit to each other through the ruse perpetrated on us by Hollywood and other uber liberals that self-absorption, and self-promotion is the end-all of humanity. Poor us!

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  18. Hi Patrice and Don,

    With this article I realize more and more just why I continue to follow you guys on your lives adventure. Thank you both for being so forthcoming. I really appreciate it. And, God bless as you continue.
    I've responded a couple of times to your interesting articles, and now this one - because it strikes so close to home. You folks, and me and my wife, have a lot of similarities; Christian, live on some property (although life in our desert is vastly different from yours) we have two great pers, used to have goats and chickens (free range isn't an option), been married (to each other) for over 30 years and have two homeschooled daughters, both in their early 20s and both finding a dearth of either eligible, or willing, men. Some of the guys that show interest are simply dogs (figurative of course), it seems that the few eligible Christian men in our small town are painfully gun shy of commitment because they come from broken homes. They use that as an exemplar for their definition of marriage and don't want any part of it. I have all but given up on the prospects of meeting my grandchildren. Although there have been several men keeping company, there is nothing in the air about looking for a mate. I realize that all things are possible for those that love the Lord. However, history is littered with the corpses of devout Christians who painfully experienced unfulfilled hopes and desires. The Lord blesses those whom the Lord blesses. IMHO - we are witness to the end times, and would be less than human to not feel the pains of a degrading of humanity in prelate to the chaos of Revelation. It sorrows me that we too are subject to life in the mire. Lord please save us all.
    I'll sign off this way for the first time, and from now on, should I respond again.
    California Willie

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  19. It is sad and disappointing - as a young man desiring marriage, it is hard to find a compatible woman. I have met many women who complain they can't find someone yet when I hear what they are looking for, their expectations are unrealistic and their treatment of men who show interest and attention is deplorable.
    I am glad to know that while this dysfunction generates news, it is only a portion of the country and there are still many good, Godly, men and women - one just has to look much harder to find them. When the church started, it was abnormal and often persecuted - and it grew by leaps and bounds each year, despite persecution; when there is acceptance and no persecution it shrinks, as has happened over the last 40 years in the US. As society moves away from the church, there will be hard times in which the church can grow yet again. The cycle will continue until Christ returns.
    As Elijah was told that there were 7,000 who had not yet bowed the knee to Baal, so there are still a number of young men and women in this country who have not given in to this hurtful, confusing, worldview - they are out there; it just takes more work to find them.

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  20. What is even sadder is that this is all a strategy for the destruction of the family. We are witnessing the balkanization of society: Blacks vs whites, rich vs poor, gay vs straight, the 99% vs the 1%.And now man vs woman. The bond between man and wife, parents and children is the last bulwark of a civil society. MGOW and feminists are blaming each other...right on cue. When men don't protect women, and women don't honor men...and no one takes care of the children...that society is over.

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  21. Dear Patrice,
    I read the article and the comments but had to stop as it made me sick. The hatred that permeated from the words were just to much to bear! My dear Hubby and I will have been together for almost 28 years with 4 children and NO it hasn't been all lollipops and rainbows but I LOVE HIM and HE LOVES ME. When I was young I thought feminism was about equal pay and being treated with respect in the workplace but as I got older I realized it was nothing more than a device to ruin families and destroy love for each other. My husband has told me on many different occasions (especially with all this shooting/riot stuff going on) that he would protect us and die for us if need be to keep us safe. NOT because I have manipulated him to do so but because he loves us he is willing to die for us. And I would die for him and our children because I love them! How SAD it is that these people don't have that kind of love in their hearts only bitterness. Also if you are only meeting these kinds of manipulating people in your circle what does that say about you? Perhaps it's time to keep a better class of friends and be a better class of person yourself. Remember you can't change others but you CAN change you.
    JD

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  22. Well that response was just a troll. People should always ignore others on the internet like that. However.. regarding your article.. the one issue I have is you mention guys using "facts, figures, statistics" - or whatever your exact words were. Truth is it's our EXPERIENCE. From the time we're born men have it beaten into their skulls that in order to get women we have to give.. time. money. effort. space. we have to overcome our anxieties. we always (well usually) have to do the approaching. etc. etc. It's give, give give. And then when things don't work out? We have to give more.. give alimony, give up parental rights. Give up our dignity as the girl we "courted" in a traditional manner tells us we're "sweet" as she rides off on the back of a motorcycle with an a-hole. That's been my life. Every. Single. Time. Oh sure I KNOW how to act Alpha/PUA. And when I do.. guess what? Suddenly women are more interested. Magically they want to be with me. Problem is- it's just acting. It's not really my true nature. It's not that we're entitled to any specific woman, or some sexual reward for our efforts on a date or anything.. it's that we get NO positive feedback for our efforts. Like trying to step outside our station as a passive, beta male gets us smacked back down to earth.. Time, and time again. We just get tired of trying. So we don't, That's why the sexodus is really about.

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  23. Well I see why repeated rejection is not fun or worth it for male peers. Women have to Hgh expectations, always want what they can't have as soon as you become unavailable or have a girlfriend they are all over you. It's all about looks to, if you are good looking they will bend over backwards, to try and please that person who they are attracted to. I've seen it all as well.

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  24. Well I see why repeated rejection is not fun or worth it for male peers. Women have to Hgh expectations, always want what they can't have as soon as you become unavailable or have a girlfriend they are all over you. It's all about looks to, if you are good looking they will bend over backwards, to try and please that person who they are attracted to. I've seen it all as well.

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