In-your-face stuff from an opinionated
rural north Idaho housewife.
Bad boys appeal to the fallen nature of women, just like easy girls appeal to the fallen nature of men.You are absolutely right in calling women to take responsibility and take control of their own actions in selecting a partner.
My step daughter married (and devoursed ) a bad boy / looser , ske lapped up the poor me , women don't treat me right , and she was the one that would make him happy , SHE was the one to prove all women were not bitches , it took her four years and a lot of heartache to find out he was a manipulating useless waste of skin , don't be taken in by the sob stories , a loosed is a loosed PERIOD .
The failed feminist movement had no use for good men, or perhaps more appropriate, real men. Most of today's generations of feminized young males have no clue about being real men. Of course ultimately it is a supply and demand scenario. The is little demand for real men because there are few real women. I know because I spent years looking. I was blessed to finally find Montana Gal, a REAL woman.Montana Guy
I knew a few women who dated "bad boys." Thankfully most of them smartened up after the tenth or twelfth jerk left them high and dry and holding the bag. The few that didn't ended up with broken marriages and ugly custody/child support fights. Both of them, I note, were seeking to "fix" something in themselves and looking for a "project cause" to take it out on.I almost fell into the same trap-- I saw my faults and flaws, things I could never totally fix, and figured that someone with their act together wouldn't ever want me. By the Grace of God, I turned out to be (mostly) wrong. I tell my daughters to keep their pants up, to look for a friend first and if chemistry happens with a good, solid friend (someone who is respectful and kind and still there for you when the music stops) then that might be the one, and to build the kind of life they want to live and the kind of person they want to be. As long as they are "putting themselves out there," by which I mean simply interacting with other people, I figure the right man for them will come along eventually (and if he doesn't, well then, they will at least have built for themselves as much of the life they want to live as possible, and someone they don't have to shudder to look at when they brush their teeth of a morning and night). Obviously being an "ultra-masculine" "macho" "pick-up artist" didn't work out too well for Elliot Rodger. I figure it probably really doesn't work out too well for anyone-- at best, they get old, can't play that game any more, and end up with nothing but memories of days gone by.
And some where in between the " Bad Boys" are those men and women that are " not so bad, but not marriage material" The people that do not demonstrate criminal traits, that may be hard working, but think that fun consists of partying around and not being faithful. A mature person will pick up on these but a young man or women that has not had a good role model may very well think that they can change them or miss the red flags completely. Partice you are correct in believing that bad begets bad, I know from experience , my dad was a hard working man with some mighty fatal flaws.. drink, womanizing , and penchant for beating my mom and myself. The three of us children were scarred by this home life, and reacted in three different ways, my sister never married, my brother has been married for over 30 yrs but he has a terrible temper but by the grace of God he has never Taken it out on his saintly wife, he found his salvation in Our Lord, I married the not so bad boys, three times before I realized I was never going to change anyone but myself. While none of my children have ever had any dealings with the law, are contributing citizens,well mannered and for the most part have married good men and women, they were none the less scarred, something that causes me great heartache to this day.I do not know what the answer is for those of us that had the misfortune of growing up in a unstable home, for me it was finding a relationship with Jesus Christ, who truly was my savior.
My husband repeats a well known saying regarding these types of relationships: Women get married with hopes of changing the man; men marry, hoping the woman never changes.sidetracksusie
I dated a bad boy or two when I was young and dumb, but knew pretty quickly that I was being an idiot. I married my good man 21 years, 2 kids and 2 states ago. My sister really likes my husband as "he's a good brother in law, but I would never marry someone so boring". She's in her 40s, single, has lived with a handful of guys, has had two abusive relationships that we know of. It's just sad, but then I would feel sorry for any good guy that got stuck with her.