In-your-face stuff from an opinionated
rural north Idaho housewife.
Thank you! I am very proud that I was a stay home mother to a wonderful daughter and 2 fine sons. My husband and I gave up a lot so that I could be home. I do not regret it at all.
I have 2 types in my family.My wife stopped working to be a full-time Mom to our daughter. It's the hardest job she's ever had, but she (and I) wouldn't have it any other way. The financial hit was nothing in comparison to what having her Mom's full attention gives to our daughter.My sister, on the other hand, is a career woman who was smart enough to realize that a high-powered career and kids don't mix. She made her choice, it works for her, and no kids are neglected because of her career.- Charlie
You know, I really do believe that you can have a career and BE A MOTHER too. I watched Daddy do it-- sixty hours a week in the coal mines by day, father/mother (single parent) to a teenager with mild special needs by night. To this day I don't know HOW he did it-- he always said that I just wasn't much trouble-- but do it he did. Perfectly?? No. But well enough to be a role model, an advisor, a disciplinarian, and in later years a friend. We're united in contempt for the idea that children are "useless eaters." I find the thought-- and the attitudes of the people that espouse it-- repugnant. But-- sometimes I get fed up with the idealization of motherhood, too. Are we really supposed to be endlessly patient creatures who, wearing a gentle smile and with a soft and well-modulated voice, takes pleasure in the sacrifices of motherhood for just one wet kiss from the cherubim??I chose-- and I'm GLAD I chose-- to sacrifice career and self-direction for my kids. It was the right choice for me. But have I failed if, sometimes (usually around THAT TIME), I make sure there's nothing they can kill themselves (or each other) with, pick up a nice novel and a bottle of Coke, and shut the bedroom door behind me with a "Unless someone's bleeding, y'all leave Mommy alone until the timer rings. I need some PEACE!!!"Is it really so binary?? Must we all be saints, or else we're failures?? I'm a mother-- but I'm still a human being.
One more thing: Mothers, take heart! It seems that, among the "Millenial generation," more young women are choosing to make "mother" a verb. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/05/10/mothers-day-millenials-stay-at-home/8572055/I hope that some generation DOES manage to put an end to the "with-me-or-against-me" Mommy Wars that turn women against each other and waste so much of mothers' emotional energy.And I hope that, finally, the myth of the perfect mother dies an unnoticed death. I wonder, often, how many of us would be more loving and more involved if we weren't consumed with the need to do it perfectly and the terror of getting it wrong.