Self-Sufficiency Series

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Stupid mothers

Here's my WND column for the weekend entitled Stupid Mothers.


Got a couple of mild snarks in the comments after the column, i.e. "I feel sorry for your kids Patrice" along with hints that the critic's children "will be the ones Patrice's come to for advice and inspiration." -- to which some loyal readers jumped to my defense (thank you!).

13 comments:

  1. Great article, Patrice...I did not respond, but put like on some of the defenders of the cause...Now who would go to that bluebone person for any advice? Maybe all the Leftists!!!!
    Love from NC

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well Written Patrice. I am surprised you didn't get more flaming comments though. Stating that a modern day liberal woman has any responsibility to anyone but herself is the epitome of vileness to them. It usually brings them out of the woodwork with such stunning criticism pertaining to one's looks, sexual ability and dressing habits. Oh ya and spell check as the Bluebone commenter pointed out.

    No facts or logic needed for their anger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's kind of how we felt too. Younger Daughter was tempted to log onto the comments section at WND so she could ask Bluebone specifically what kind of advice or inspiration she could garner from his/her children.

      - Patrice

      Delete
    2. Likely the advice Bluebone and/or his or her offspring would give is to blame somebody else when things go wrong... sadly that is not a very 'inspired' notion anymore as everyone does it.

      GREAT article, Patrice. Too bad it couldn't be included in the 'family health' portion of what passes for public education these days.

      p

      Delete
  3. I was a young single mom at one time. Now that I'm a grandmother, or a few years before I became one, I realize that one of the most important decisions a woman can make is who the father of her children is. He will be a part of your life, and your child's, for the rest of your lives! I wish I had known that or had someone explain it to me before I had children.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That Bluebone snark who "felt sorry for your kids" was the perfect example of a stupid mother! Of course, being a blind and brainwashed liberal-progressive, she will never see it that way. Just the same, her comments made us laugh because they were so fitting! Pathetic snarks who just can't resist opening their mouth and inserting a foot help prove what you say over and over again. It's always nice to have a good example to make a point, and apparently they're all only too glad to help! --Fred & Deb in AZ

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good job Patrice, about those snide comments, I learned a long time ago that a stuck pig will sequel.

    ReplyDelete
  6. great article patrice!!! it reminded me about the conversations i had with my son when he was fixing to become engaged and married...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have long thought that the best gift you can give your children is a good father. Thank God I did! I love reading Don taking up for you, but did appreciate BlueBone wishing you a Happy Mother's Day, I will pray for her/him tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Patrice - wish you had written and I had read your article 40+ years ago! Not that my son hasn't turned out to be a responsible and fantastic father of 2, and, as my daughter-in-law tells me, a great husband - he never has met his father. Though we were married, when we found out that I was pregnant, his father decided that a former girlfriend was more to his liking. In retrospect, all the signs were there, if only I had heeded them. I raised my son on my own, without any financial support from his father, although I really wish his father would have shown some interest in this new person that he had created. my son has never met his father, and I think that this weighs heavily on my son, and for this very reason, he is very involved in raising his children. I am really proud of how he has turned out but his life could have turned out so differently.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Excellent article! I know I am convicted by it, but at the time I thought I was choosing well. We had similar viewpoints on most things. What I ignored was the warning signs of depression which was diagnosed as bi-polar. I should have known, but even I didn't see it for what it was. After the second extra-marital long-term affair he had, I choose to divorce him because his behavior was destroying my children as well as myself. I am being much more cautious the second time around! Thanks again!

    ReplyDelete
  10. The truth is like a very rough, gritty soap: it cleans you well, but can leave you raw!

    Your truth washed over me. It hurt but it was a good cleansing hurt. You put into words what I all ready knew and had lived. I am a product of "not choosing well", and I played that forward into not choosing well. I think my daughter is on the same path and she's using my mistakes to justify her behavior and to keep me at a distance, physically and emotionally. It doesn't matter to her that I recognized my error, made every attempt to mitigate the damage and fix the error, and have moved forward in order to make a life for my children that included good choices with the resulting good outcomes. She considers herself damaged goods, despite her good education, stunning good looks and talent in her chosen career. Her boyfriend choices are frightening, mostly consisting of perpetual juveniles that I see her trying to "save" (much like her father, who supports her choices to the point of saying she can move home WITH the boyfriend). She works hard to support them. I pray she wakes up before she marries and has children.

    The problem with being a stupid mom is that even if you strive to overcome it, once you have brought that child into the world, they have that poorly chosen father, even if you separate, divorce, get an anullment, or he just plain walks out. That poorly chosen father (or mother if you are a man reading this) still influences their behavior, either by continual poisoning of their minds during visitation or through their physical and/or emotional abandonment. It took me until I was almost 49 years to realize what my "almost perfect and blameless" father had done to my mother, and how it affected me. I accept responsibility for my actions, but I see generational effects of his behavior. He was a good physical provider but career and partying were the most important aspects of his life, wife and children were back burner items, to be commanded around and then polished up and presented to the world only when it furthered the career, then tossed aside for younger, more party-hardy women later in life. I'm no longer angry about what happened but still kick myself that I didn't see the consequences of it until I'd walked the same path, chosen unwisely and brought innocent children into the world.
    On the other side, one of my sons, the one who had the most difficulty with the destructive relationship and the divorce, benefitted greatly from his step fathers positive, constructive, I'm raising you to be a man-not a perpetual child, fathering. He's married, has a second child on the way and is highly involved in parenting, sees tremendous value in having a wife that is a homemakers and caretaker for his children. I'm praying they continue to on their path and begin homeschooling, also.

    Keep up the good work, Patrice. It may very well be that your advice is the only advice some young person gets regarding choosing spouses. I know that no one ever gave me one piece of advice or modeled the behavior, and since I've made moral mistakes and seen the light and have tried to counsel, I'm considered a hypocrite. The world needs you and your words now, more than ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a painful realization. You're to be commended for coming to this understanding. I pray your daughter heeds your words, as your son clearly has.

      - Patrice

      Delete