In-your-face stuff from an opinionated
rural north Idaho housewife.
Good article. My MIL is the same way. Sees my youngest son as "too good" (whatever that means) and that he should be "breaking the rules." It's very sad. He is a great kid, well mannered, kind, and intelligent, and yes "religious" by their standards. I guess that light is pretty bright.
"Could it be that purity shines light into dark and uncomfortable corners?"Patrice, I firmly have observed that when Good goes against the grain of Evil, it is demonized!Yes, it is a fearful component of those who think that they will be "judged" by those good standards!It screams to them of their own inequities.It is far easier and within the same vein of their evilness and character to try to manipulate and triangulate mischief by stirring dissension, than it is for them to "convert" their evil behavior and lack of morality toward G*dliness and wholesomeness.notutopia
makes me think of sunday school days and the song "this little light of mine". still one of my favorites.
Homeschooling really does give one a different perspective. I was 7 when 9/11 happened and after the war had started my family and I went to a rally to support our troops. We were on a street holding up flags and signs when a woman drove by in a car and shouted and spat on the ground. A man nearby told someone she swore. I took that to mean she made a promise.
My mother-in-law told our oldest son that she would give him money if he ran away. Not kidding. This was after she told my husband we were doing our kids a disservice by not dropping them off at the mall--even the 8 year old.The kids are grown, and gone, and good, and I'm really glad she lived 9 hours away.
Patrice, another encouraging article. Keep it up! You give us "wholesome families" some great material to float to our loved ones on the "dark side." :-)www.ADifferentLegacy.com
Today at my daughter's first soccer game, she sat on the bench when it was not her turn to play, sitting still (cheering) for her team. Other kids "on the bench" were jumping around pushing and kissing (yes parents thought it was "cute" to see this in the 5-6yo crowd) and one of the parents beside me says to another: "look at that poor little girl, she doesn't even know how to play with other kids, all she does is sit there watching the game. They homeschool and don't let their kids play like normal kids". the definition of normal has mutated. My daughter was obeying the coach while the other children ran wild and the parents had to make themselves feel better by making my daughter out to be the bad guy. As humans we do not like it when our failings are brought to light...
I'd be curious as to the age of the grandparents promoting this "be bad" behavior. Hippies of the 60's? Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll? Remember, the "parents" of the 70's and the soaring divorce rate, the "do what makes you feel good" and darn the consequences. The start of the two income family and let someone else raise your kids. Latchkey kids? No problem, they'll be fine. The 80's "me generation" anyone?And now the women of that era are seeing their children turn their backs on the, ahem, "progress" they made. Their kids are taking responsibility, putting kids' needs before their wants and basically doing everything that the grandparents threw out the window. It invalidates what the grandparents did and puts a lie to "divorce is fine", "the kids will be fine", "mom doesn't need to stay home". The solution? Sabotage. Try to drag them down to your level and darn if the kids get hurt in the fray.Just a thought,Becky
Patrice,I'm disappointed that you, and others in your audience, keep using your belief system as the reason your kids, and others, are decent. This is very disparaging to those of us who do not adhere to your belief system yet raise good, wholesome kids nevertheless and are good, decent human beings ourselves.I'm also disappointed in all your readers who jump on the bandwagon yelling about how great they are because they believe as you do. It's like they need to justify their existence by joining in the chorus.With all due respect (and I do respect you), you owe it to your disparate audience to be realistic. You have raised good kids because it's the right thing to do - not because you're a Christian.Are you suggesting that Jewish or Muslim or Buddhist parents are incapable of doing the same thing? Please respect the rest of us out here and quit using "Jesus" as the be all, end all to what's right in the world.
I don't go to church, I don't home school. I'm trying to raise my children the best I can - to be well mannered, well behaved, to think for themselves and to ultimately become REAL adults (regular readers will know what I'm talking about here).But I don't discriminate against Patrice just because she talks about her God and how He works in her life. Why should she not talk about him? It's her belief, her blog, her column. Patrice is not Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist. She is Christian and preaches that accordingly. Maybe you should jump on a Muslim site and tell them to stop going on about Muhammad and see where that gets you.Tolerance is an interesting thing. A lot of people jump up and down about the need for it but not many realise that it works both ways.Amanda
Amanda,You misunderstand what I said. I'm well aware of Patrice's religion and I'm not sure how my comments mean that I'm discriminating against her. Perhaps you might elucidate.What I am miffed about is the idea that good children are the result of a Christian upbringing. That's a very egotistical attitude and flies in the face of the humble Christian perspective that has been put forth in this blog.Speaking of tolerance, perhaps you should learn some of your own and not act as if Christianity were the only answer to everything.
I believe your response reflects part of the point in Patrice's article. I don't think she was in any way being intolerant of your own personal religion, or lack thereof, but it seems that you are certainly intolerant of hers. I am a Christian homeschooler, who, by the way, has also sent some of my children to public school and to private schools in the past, so I believe I am qualified to speak on all sides of this issue. I have come to the conclusion that Christian homeschoolers are by in large the most productive, polite, hard-working and morally sound students and young adults around. By saying that, I am not implying that others cannot have those same attributes; they just do not have the lifetime benefits that Christian children do. At some point in their lives, everyone will face a crisis or life-changing choice in their lives, and that's where the Christian values make a big difference in their lives. Not to mention the eternal difference.In our own family, I have seen the total non-acceptance of our decisions to Christian homeschool (not grandparents, but others). Time will tell as those others' children become adults. They were never exposed to church, and seem to have an aversion to all things Christian. That has been their parents' choice, sadly. (No tolerance there, huh?)All this to say that tolerance seems to be missing from many of those who are not Christian. They demand it from others, but do not grant it themselves. Christian children, if taught the truth from the Bible, are taught to love all others, even if they disagree with others' lifestyle or sinful choices.
I fail to see where Patrice said that in order to raise wholesome, respectful children you must be a Christian. Yes, that is her faith (and mine also) and she has tried to raise her children according to it, with good results. Where does she mention any non-Christians as being unable to raise their children as such.That said, this is her blog, she is a Christian, and as one, she should believe that Jesus is the "be all end all to all that's right in the world." True believers all feel that way. Those are the beliefs, that you do not seem to tolerate, Sam.JaneJane
Sam, nowhere does Patrice state that good children are raised only by Christians. Try not to be so sensitive and PC please.Can you not take the important information from her posts without taking offence to the fact that she attributes many things to God? Here's an example - hardwork, self sacrifice, making family important, being respectful, staying the course, being honourable (thats all in my own words - sorry Patrice if I'm not reflecting your values perfectly). All of this is productive to raising good children by leading by example. But when she mentions this is what the bible has taught her suddenly it's wrong is it? Just see good advice and not get your back up about what she attributes it to. Doesn't mean you have to convert or read the bible or something horrible like that (lol).On another note, have you tried it yet? Gone on another religeous site and told them to stop being so egotistical and that (insert religion here) is not the be all and end all or the only answer to everything? lol I would be very interested in the replies you get!Amanda
when i was in my parents home growing up, i was a good child...but i had my share of troubles with my parents...the four of us children were taken to sunday school and church of our choice and then picked up later by my dad...while we were learning the christian way of life, my parents were sleeping in and embibing of alcoholic beverages. i was luckily a good student and was able to do the heap of homework i had in study halls, on the school bus, and while babysitting others..see, my dad had a sixth grade education and was never allowed to play games like baseball, basketball etc... so he was jealous of his children. he wanted us to have what he did not have, but he was unwilling to give us the encouragement that he lacked when he was a kid. mom missed most of our growing up years under the stupor of mental illness and alcoholism. funny, their grandchildren have all grown up and graduated from college and are all self reliant responsible adults..and their grandparents have no understanding of them either. seems to me that all families have their "secrets" and their "crazies" somewhere on the old family tree.
This trend is troubling for sure, and I know of similar situations to what is described. I am a Conservative Christian, and I feel Blessed that my Mom doesn't do what some describe here. I feel that the Bible is our owner's manual for life, so to speak. I have a very faithful friend, who has home-schooled and raised her child in a Christian environment. Her Mother is not always in agreement with her ways and is more of the world. However, the 10 Commandments are God's instructions to us,they are pretty clear, and one is; "Honor your Mother and Father...". It doesn't say "honor" them when you feel like it, or when they deserve it. It just says "honor" them, and so we must. If they did not bring us to Him, maybe it is our role to bring them to Him.
I am a 70 year old Christian grandmother. I find the times we live in to be incredibly sad. I am not very good at preaching to others about faith matters. I live my life according to my faith. Hopefully, this may be an example to others. I have always praised and encouraged my children and grandchildren when they exhibit manners, respect, thrift, and hard work. I am extremely proud of the parents my children have become. As I enter probably the last years of my life, I have few regrets concerning the parent I am. I only hope the first words I hear from my God are "well done my good and faithful servant."